waltomeal

Yes, that was the joke. For the record, my pick up lines were much worse. But thanks for playing along.

I also gave up no hits and failed to pitch nine innings today. Still counting it as a no-no, like God intended.

Don't believe the hype. I hit 1000 strikeouts at the Fall social my Junior year of college, when I was much younger than Sano. Watch me build on the real record at the tavern this weekend. Seriously though, nice write-up Seth.

Let's hear it for professional umpires. Hip, Hip...

Betcha a dome dog we leave Cleveland with the division lead.

Thr3E

Two.

One.

Take that, Flo!

Video post of the year! I find your views intriguing, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

'Tis the season for playoff rosters. I've seen many proposed rosters that have more thought and logic behind them than I can provide. Nevertheless, I have gone through the requisite attempt to settle on my own preferred 25-man squad. Every time I try, the most interesting Twin in the world, Willians Astudillo is left out. Much to my surprise. I find this perplexing because of how I analyze the 4 possible outcomes: 1. The Twins win with Willians Astudillo 2. The Twins win without Willians Astudillo 3. The Twins lose with Willians Astudillo 4. The Twins lose without Willians Astudillo Obviously, 1 and 2 are the preferred outcomes, and of course either one of those is just fine by me. If the Twins lose with Willians Astudillo on the roster (outcome #3) I'll be sad that they lost. But perhaps not surprised - with 10 teams, you're not entitled to the win. But I have to think that whoever Tortuga took that last roster spot from (who is #25?) probably didn't make a massive contribution to the cause. But if the Twins lose WITHOUT Willians Astudillo, I think that I shall feel cheated. I can't escape the irrational feeling that there's something special / magical about this guy. Perhaps he brings variance to a team that needs variance. Will I be able to prevent myself from dreaming that the curly-haired turtle wouldn't have done one or more of the following: 1. Collected 5 bases (on 3 swings) in a series-turning game 2. Hit a walk-off bomba from his knee 3. Played 3 different positions in a masterfully-managed extra-inning game 4. Run through Tony Diaz's stop sign to score from first on a madcap, helmet-shedding dash What say you? Am I mad? Am I so mad that I'm sane? So sane that I'm mad?

Can anyone tell me the last time a Twins pitcher with a kick-ass moustache dominated the post-season?

I absolutely love the idea of a Hrbek as a unit of measure. Well done, sir!

Suck it up, princess. Now is when champions are made. We're all counting on you.