Game Thread: Twins @ Mariners, 5/25 @ 9:10pm CT

Good luck. Hope it works out.

Edited May 25, 2018 by Craig Arko

The Mariners are  29-20 and in second place in the AL West, 3 games behind the Astros. The Twins, despite being 3 games UNDER .500 are only a game and a half out of first place in the AL Central. I call that relevant baseball. (Thank you, Cleveland!)

PS - I promise my negativity will only be of the soft-nosed variety. 

 

The Mariners are  29-20 and in second place in the AL West, 3 games behind the Astros. The Twins, despite being 3 games UNDER .500 are only a game and a half out of first place in the AL Central. I call that relevant baseball. (Thank you, Cleveland!)

 

I've been saying all along. "I Hand Cleveland Nothing". 

Cats are better than dogs. They don't hump your leg. They don't smell bad. They don't demand to take walks. They crap in a toilet box. They don't beg for food. You can ask almost anyone to take care of your cat when you're out of town. Someone has to really owe you or be related to take care of your dog.

 

Cats don't jump on you when you walk in the door but I see that as a good thing.

 

I've been saying all along. "I Hand Cleveland Nothing". 

 

Cleveland's lineup and bullpen just aren't as good as they were. That starting pitching is still really good but they're overrated. Twins have had just about everything go wrong and they're in it. They get Sano and Buxton hitting, Dozier streaking, Joe walking and Polanco back and this team could be a second half buzzsaw.

 

Cleveland's lineup and bullpen just aren't as good as they were. That starting pitching is still really good but they're overrated. Twins have had just about everything go wrong and they're in it. They get Sano and Buxton hitting, Dozier streaking, Joe walking and Polanco back and this team could be a second half buzzsaw.

I've long said "Play .500 ball until the All Star break and anything can happen."

 

Cleveland's lineup and bullpen just aren't as good as they were. That starting pitching is still really good but they're overrated. Twins have had just about everything go wrong and they're in it. They get Sano and Buxton hitting, Dozier streaking, Joe walking and Polanco back and this team could be a second half buzzsaw.

This

The Twins have an incredible amount of talent at the Major league level, if it all started clicking, heck we'd make the Astros look like schoolboys

"The Mariners had Cano and Dee Gordon. Now 2B is a hole?"

 

A whole what?

 I think one of the first lessons they teach in political science 302: How To Divide a Country is the one where they suggest dogs are better than cats.

 

 I think one of the first lessons they teach in political science 302: How To Divide a Country is the one where they suggest dogs are better than cats.

See, that's an argument I don't get, because dogs are clearly superior. Seriously, would a cat do this:

 

 

Cats are better than dogs. They don't hump your leg. They don't smell bad. They don't demand to take walks. They crap in a toilet box. They don't beg for food. You can ask almost anyone to take care of your cat when you're out of town. Someone has to really owe you or be related to take care of your dog.

 

Cats don't jump on you when you walk in the door but I see that as a good thing.

But... aren't cats inherently evil and plotting to take over the world... or watch it burn in the process?   They are cats after all.

Plus I'm pretty sure Romero is a dog person.   This would probably explain his easy going, but inner bulldog mentality.

 

Paxton on the other hand... He strikes me as a cat person, but then again that might be just because he is Canadian.   Not that I have anything against Canadians.   I ran into some exceptionally tough and talented Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan (hats of to those guys... especially for finding a way and place to play hockey in a high desert).   It's just that, well... I don't really have anything I just needed to find some way to make a really good pitcher seem like the bad guy and thus make him easier to root against.

 

So there... Paxton hates puppies and kittens and likes to yell at kids playing on his lawn.

Cats vs dogs? Can't we all just along?!

 

(But seriously, dogs are better. They are the one "person" who loves you and is overjoyed to see you no matter how crappy a day you may have had)

 

Plus I'm pretty sure Romero is a dog person.   This would probably explain his easy going, but inner bulldog mentality.

 

Paxton on the other hand... He strikes me as a cat person, but then again that might be just because he is Canadian.   Not that I have anything against Canadians.   I ran into some exceptionally tough and talented Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan (hats of to those guys... especially for finding a way and place to play hockey in a high desert).   It's just that, well... I don't really have anything I just needed to find some way to make a really good pitcher seem like the bad guy and thus make him easier to root against.

 

So there... Paxton hates puppies and kittens and likes to yell at kids playing on his lawn.

Except for the hating puppies and kittens part, you could be talking about me.

I find it difficult to imagine a mountain gorilla would share anything with me.

Speaking of dogs...

 

When I was a young boy, we had a large, somewhat wild canine that, believe it or not, meditated.

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

We named him "Aware Wolf."

 

http://stories.barkpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/doglaugh.jpg

 

 

Cats are better than dogs. They don't hump your leg. They don't smell bad. They don't demand to take walks. They crap in a toilet box. They don't beg for food. You can ask almost anyone to take care of your cat when you're out of town. Someone has to really owe you or be related to take care of your dog.

 

Cats don't jump on you when you walk in the door but I see that as a good thing.

Cats are better than dogs???

 

Can they do THIS?

 

 

Case closed.

 

Cats are better than dogs???

 

Can they do THIS?

 

 

Case closed.

 

Johnny Bench had him beat.

 

Cats are better than dogs. They don't hump your leg. They don't smell bad. They don't demand to take walks. They crap in a toilet box. They don't beg for food. You can ask almost anyone to take care of your cat when you're out of town. Someone has to really owe you or be related to take care of your dog.

 

Cats don't jump on you when you walk in the door but I see that as a good thing.

All of this is true. It's true because unlike dogs, cats don't care about you. They don't beg for food because they think you owe it to them. The little scamps wouldn't pee on you if you were burning.

 

 

 

See, that's an argument I don't get, because dogs are clearly superior. Seriously, would a cat do this:

 

That dog is defending his owners beer WITH HIS LIFE!!!!!!! Cat wouldn't do that

The real question is who loves you more? Your dog? Or your spouse?

 

There's an easy test.

 

Put them both in the trunk of your car.

Open it after 1 hour.

 

Which one is happy to see you?

 

Case Closed.

 

The real question is who loves you more? Your dog? Or your spouse?

 

There's an easy test.

 

Put them both in the trunk of your car.

Open it after 1 hour.

 

Which one is happy to see you?

 

Case Closed.

Reminded me of this one.

 

A man and a woman were discussing the worst pain that anyone could possibly experience. The woman said: “Without doubt, there is nothing more painful in life than childbirth.”

“Nonsense,” said the man, “a kick in the bollocks is much more painful. Ask any guy.”

“You’re so wrong,” maintained the woman. “Childbirth is far more painful.”

The man was not about to yield to her argument and announced: “I have proof that I am right.”

“What proof?” she asked scornfully.

“Because,” he continued, “a few years after giving birth a woman will say to her partner, ‘Do you want to try for another baby?’ But I have never, ever, ever heard a man say – even years later – ‘You know what I’d really like? Another kick in the bollocks!’”

A cat would not Want to do that.

 

Reminded me of this one.

 

A man and a woman were discussing the worst pain that anyone could possibly experience. The woman said: “Without doubt, there is nothing more painful in life than childbirth.”

“Nonsense,” said the man, “a kick in the bollocks is much more painful. Ask any guy.”

“You’re so wrong,” maintained the woman. “Childbirth is far more painful.”

The man was not about to yield to her argument and announced: “I have proof that I am right.”

“What proof?” she asked scornfully.

“Because,” he continued, “a few years after giving birth a woman will say to her partner, ‘Do you want to try for another baby?’ But I have never, ever, ever heard a man say – even years later – ‘You know what I’d really like? Another kick in the bollocks!’”

I've heard the same joke although in that version it was the guy getting kidney stones

 

See, that's an argument I don't get, because dogs are clearly superior. Seriously, would a cat do this:

 

Yeah, dog's are superior... without question...

 

though I might questions that dog's taste in beer.

http://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/funny-picture-dog-cats-thoughts-food-gods.jpg

 

Yeah, dog's are superior... without question...

 

though I might questions that dog's taste in beer.

He's just going by tailgate etiquette rule #1. "If it's free, it's for me"