A Brief History of Other Randy Dobnaks

The newest addition to the Twins roster is an inspiring story of an undrafted pitcher’s rapid rise from the team’s farm system to the majors. It’s also the story of there being a young professional athlete named “Randy Dobnak” in 2019. In an exclusive Twins Daily investigation, we explore the type of person more likely to have this name.

• Mechanic who lets you know that this is going to be pretty expensive and it’s going to take a while.
  
• Your dad’s best friend from high school who your mom Does. Not. Like. He has a Grand Am and a girlfriend 20 years his junior named Ashlynne. Keeps Tommy Bahama in business. Wears cologne to funerals.
  
• Bass player for ‘70s rock band that opened for Grand Funk Railroad at the Met Center.
  
• Farmer. Corn, soybeans, got out of dairy a couple years back.
  
• Shop teacher. Called kids “jackasses” until the school board cracked down on him.
  
• A frequent letter writer to the Star-Tribune’s op-ed page. His main concerns are “liberty” and “freedom.”
  
• The food scientist for Frito-Lay who helped develop Funyuns. License plate said SNAK MAN. Divorced.
  
• Every seventh male born in North Dakota between 1961-67.
  
• Guy who takes co-rec softball too seriously. Banned from the Woodbury Buffalo Wild Wings for yelling at an umpire and his family while they ate boneless garlic parmesan wings.
  
• Sitcom dad.
  
• A Minnesota Twins pitcher in 1979. Gene Mauch hates him because he keeps his hair too long.
  
• Perham man who has been to 22 consecutive WE Fests. Has a hard opinion about Kenny Chesney.
  
• Guy who has cornered the inner tube rental market in a resort town.
  
• Your insurance agent. Crushes Nicorette like it’s a contest.
  
• Frequent third-party candidate for all local offices.
  

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