New Streaming Option for Twins Fans Just Your Friend Describing the Game Over the Phone

[RandBalls Stu]

With YouTubeTV and Sinclair at odds, the options for cord-cutting Twins fans appeared to be dwindling. Enter Duane.“Buddy, I’ve got all the channels.”

 

This was the text sent by your friend Duane on Thursday evening, after news broke that your Fox Sports North provider, YouTube TV, was no longer going to be carrying Twins games after failing to reach an agreement with FSN owner Sinclair Broadcast Group.

 

Duane, who moved back in with his mother and stepfather after his second divorce, expanded on this quote in a series of statements at the VFW later that night.

 

“Here’s the deal,” said the infrequently employed 32-year-old. “Mom and Rick got the Premium Gold Plus package from Mediacom when Mom retired from 3M. It gets everything. Even the adult channels are covered. The adult channels!”

 

As you grumbled about looking at Hulu as an option despite concerns that the exact same thing would happen with them, Duane was optimistic.

 

“Don’t throw good money after bad, my dude,” he said. “I’m back on Rick’s cellular plan while I get stuff figured out, so I’ve got what Dustin at the Sprint store calls ‘unlimited minutes.’ I figure I can just pull up the game, FaceTime you, show you what’s happening, do a little play by play myself. Zero dollars, zero cents, cancel at any time. Boom shaka laka.”

 

Despite your initial skepticism, you realized that that this was still way cheaper than cable. You took Duane’s offer under consideration and ordered a burger basket.

 

[uPDATE: There is an unconfirmed report that a hideous bridge troll named Gryngyx, a creature more myth than real, is offering a full 162-game regular season Twins package “with minimal Blyleven” if you can answer three impossible riddles. Twins Daily is investigating.]

 

(Link to image license here.)

 

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[7r4de me]

Does Duane’s unlimited package include long distance? I live in NV

[goulik]

Randball Strikes again. Fortunately for me I do not have to cancel my streaming provider because I was already on Hulu (knocking on wood as we speak)

[Richie the Rally Goat]

Mod note: this article is intended for humor.

 

Do not use this forum to swap tactics on how to game the rules in place.

 

Describing ways to circumvent MLB’s intellectual property rights equates to a break of number 5 on the comment policy.

http://twinsdaily.com/topic/8228-twins-daily-comment-policy/

[D.C Twins]

Great humor as always!

 

(though currently only the second funniest article on TD, ranking slightly behind the one that posits Royce Lewis as a potential MLB replacement this year for emergency )

[Twodogs]

Does Duane’s unlimited package include long distance? I live in NV

Yes but there will be a two hour delay.