Local Man Torn on Right Shirsey for Social Function

[RandBalls Stu]

The Minnesota Twins Winter Caravan, an off-season tour of cities and towns in Minnesota and points beyond, attracts fans eager for the upcoming season and the chance to meet current and former Twins personnel. It’s usually the highlight of Mike Parker’s year, but 2020 has thrown the Shakopee native a curveball: He has no idea what shirsey to wear.“It’s usually a cut-and-dried decision,” said the Shakopee native. “But I’ll be honest with you, I’m in a real pickle here.”

 

For the uninitiated, a shirsey is a t-shirt styled like a baseball jersey, with a team logo in front and a player name and number on the back. Parker estimates he has “40-50, minimum.”

 

“I would always grab a new one if the Goldy’s in the mall had them in stock, or when I went to the team store at Target Field,” said Parker. “I didn’t think I had that many, but when my fiancée moved in, she noted that I had more shirseys than dishes. She noted that I had more Torii Hunter shirseys than dishes.”

 

While he’s given thought to downsizing his collection, the 31-year-old paralegal has grown attached to many of them. He gave Twins Daily a tour of some of his favorites.

 

“This powder blue Gary Gaetti number, this is the one I wore to (Twins vs. Tigers) Game 163,” said Parker. “You can see the mustard stain on the sleeve where I dropped my DomeDog in the 7^th inning. Oh, and this red Joe Nathan beauty, this is the one I wore under my graduation robe.”

 

Parker paused before the only one that he had on a hanger. He cleared his throat and continued.

 

“The blue Dougie Baseball (Doug Mientkiewicz) one. I wore this to a Fort Myers Miracle game he was managing. He saw me wearing it, and when the umpire ejected him for arguing balls and strikes, he pointed at me, turned back to the umpire and said ‘This guy gets it, you stupid [expletive] [expletive] piece of [expletive].’ I think about this a lot.”

 

With the date nearing, Parker admits that he does have a group of finalists.

 

“Oh, I have my eye on about a half-dozen for sure,” said Parker. “This Rod Carew throwback is in the conversation, but what if someone else is wearing that one? It’s like going to a dinner party in the same dress. And sure, I could wear my Nishioka one, but I don't really want to do irony.

 

"Let's be honest: It's probably A.J. (Pierzynski) time."

 

(Link to image license here.)

 

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[BobAzar]

As someone who has thought about if I want to wear my Hrbek shirsey to both Twinsfest and the Meltdown this, or if I want to wear something a different to Twinsfest and then change...this hits WAY TOO F-ing CLOSE TO HOME!

[denarded]

Yep, on the nose. Good article

[goulik]

And do I wear my Hrbek when I already have a signed Hrbek Rookie Card or my Plouffe Shirsey when I never got anything signed by Plouffe? I mean, I could bring my '87 homer hanky for Hrbek to sign after all. I don't have a hanky for Plouffe...

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

The answer for Mike Parker is: none of the above. The answer for Mike Parker is to rip open that plastic wrapped, powder-blue promotional jersey he picked up at a Twins event 14 years ago, and has been sitting on his closet shelf since then. He almost opened it and wore it to Gluek’s for the 2017 Wild Card game, but for some reason he held back. He’s been holding back for a reason, but he didn’t know what. And now, with the Donaldson signing and a World Series in his sights, there will never be a better time. This is Mike Parker’s moment.

 

But does the powder blue plastic-wrapped jersey have a name and number on the back of it? That would be embarrassing if not. Parker, on many occasions, has his dug fingers carefully into the plastic without opening the wrapping in an attempt to separate the folds of the jersey and see just enough if there’s a name and number lettered across the back. Lettering or no, I nevertheless think it’s a chance Parker has to take, and now is the time.

 

Open the plastic, put on the jersey, and go.

 

Also, I am Mike Parker.