Front Page: Guy Who Was In All-Day Meeting Thursday Walking Around Like Everything’s Fine

[RandBalls Stu]

Bloomington accountant oblivious to the events of the 9th inning in Miami on Thursday walks around Minneapolis as if life is full of joy and wonder.Patrick Seivert exited the Nicollet Suite at the Minneapolis Convention Center at 5 pm on Thursday like an idiot, per multiple sources.

 

“I have no idea why he’s smiling,” said Rebecca Todd, one of Seivert’s co-workers and a fellow diehard Twins fan. “Oh my god, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know.”

 

Seivert, who works for a local accounting firm, was in an all-day seminar about industry best practices. Attendees were encouraged to shut their phones down or put them in airplane mode to better grasp the intricacies of the topic at hand. Seivert’s family confirmed that he purposely left his phone in his car to resist the temptation of checking it.

 

“Patrick didn’t even know the Twins had a day game,” said his wife Marley. “He was all happy after the wins on Tuesday and Wednesday. The seminar was catered by Chipotle, and he has Friday and Monday off. The dummy was in such a good mood headed out the door.”

 

The 35-year-old St. Olaf grad was observed whistling on the way to his parking spot.

 

“Yes, I think it was the ‘We’re Gonna Win Twins’ jingle,” said Vong Moua, a security guard at the Convention Center. “This complete moron walking around Minneapolis without a care in the world, not even two hours since the new bullpen guy imploded.

 

“I thought he might have been a Marlins fan trolling Minnesotans, but then I remembered there aren’t any Marlins fans. That poor dumb bastard.”

 

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[LanceJS]

I thought it was a humorous caption to the picture, without the smiles!

[wagwan]

Fun stuff. It is kind of fun to see everyone live and die on every pitch. One thing I like about baseball though is there is a new game every day. What a fun team to follow.

[nokomismod]

Thanks for the laugh. This could have been me yesterday.

[Doomtints]

This is not the first time Patrick has done this. I have completely given up on that guy.

[Wyorev]

Oh to be as clueless as Patrick, and to experience all the pain of that game at once!

As wagwon suggested, it is a great ride to "live and die on every pitch." 

What's wrong with this picture?

We've endured years of mediocrity to get to this point, and now, for some of us, it's too stressful to watch!!

[ashbury]

Normal Twins Fan: SEASON OVER.

Any Vikings Fan: hold my beer ...