Well, here we are. The day following a first for the 2021 Twins: grasping victory from the jaws of defeat. Having spent the previous four months mastering the inverse, last night the Twins - led by unlikely defensive hero Miguel Sano - did something right and actually won a game it looked like they were going to lose.
Which means the Twins are on the verge of a...
Exciting, right? Leading the charge into today's game, we have Michael "Inexplicably Still on the Twins" Pineda toeing the rubber, looking to enhance his non-existent trade value for the no-longer-in-existence August waiver deadline. Sorry, Mike, but you're stuck here. Try to make the most of it, no one will fault you for retiring next week if you feel that's the right decision for your mental health.
Opposing Pineda is... oh, who the hell even cares. It's probably some cheating bastard we don't like anyway.
I was going to type up a lineup analysis but saw Jake Cave in the fifth spot and threw up in my mouth a little bit so I'm done with this **** for the day. Time to start day drinking. Have an exciting game, everyone!
Twins:
1. Max Kepler (L) RF
2. Brent Rooker (R) DH
3. Jorge Polanco (S) 2B
4. Miguel Sano (R) 1B
5. Jake Cave (L) CF
6. Ryan Jeffers (R) C
7. Trevor Larnach (L) LF
8. Willians Astudillo (R) 3B
9. Andrelton Simmons (R) SS
P - Michael Pineda
Banging Schemers:
1. Jose Altuve (R) 2B
2. Michael Brantley (L) LF
3. Carlos Correa (R) SS
4. Yordan Alvarez (L) DH
5. Kyle Tucker (L) RF
6. Aledmys Diaz (R) 3B
7. Chas McCormick (R) CF
8. Jason Castro (L) C
9. Taylor Jones (R) 1B
P - Some Cheating Bastard, probably