Dave The Dastardly

Okay, who saw that coming?

The Twins are carrying too much dead weight to be a play-off team. Consistency is what wins short (play-offs) seasons and this team has too many inconsistent players. Colome - can't count on him; Shoemaker - ditto; Sano- way too streaky. Occasionally gets hot and hits a half dozen mind-boggling homeruns, but also gets into mind-boggling long slumps that produce nothing but strikeouts, not even moving runners along; Cave - mostly kept for insurance for when Buxton goes on the DL but that's a job any of the Twins' plethora of outfielders could do better, or at least just as well; Donaldson - another inevitable DL candidate; Garver/Jeffers - a catching rotation based on hitting potential but too streaky with the bat. One or the other, sometimes both, in slumps. My uninformed opinion: Cut Colome, Shoemaker and Cave and take your lumps. You can't beat a dead horse. Chalk it up to experience. Look for a sucker, er, a more desperate team to take Sano in trade, maybe for a year's supply of Tough Actin' Tinactin and a dozen baseballs, whatever. He's never been consistent and probably never will be consistent. Plop Kirilloff at first and ride him like a the thoroughbred you think him to be. Keep Rortvedt, the only "real" catcher you have, and rotate Garver or Jeffers, whichever one starts hitting consistently as your other catcher. Quit fooling around with Dobnak and give him the starter's job you're paying him for. Bring up one or two of those fire-throwing young guys you have in the minors and give them Colome and Dobnak'e role in the bull pen. Quite screwing around with pitching reclamation projects and give your prospects a chance to gain some experience and prove themselves in the majors before you do any more dumpster diving. Pull up a couple of those minor league outfield prospects everybody is high on to replace Cave and Sano on the roster for the same reason. Lastly, keep the Turtle. With all the expected injuries from Buxton and Donaldson, "day's off for no apparent reasons", and inevitable shifting of position players you need the Turtle's flexibility to cover the gaps. The Turtle is the Swiss Army Knife of bench players. He's like three guys on the bench. Oh, and don't put all your eggs in one basket. Forget counting on homeruns to win games. That's feast or famine thinking. Makes you too one-dimensional. Learn to play small ball when the big bats go silent. Remember, it's consistency we're after. Quite a sermon. But what the hell, it's Sunday.

Good eye Ben!

Jeez! I'm following this game on Gameday and Singer's "sinkers" are all about two feet over the batter's head. How's it look in real life?

Nice to see Rortvedt in the lineup. I hope he catches on.

I'd vote for seriosity, but I think it should be spelled seriousity. My tongue needs that extra vowel in there in order to get re-positioned for that second "s". A guy never wants to fall on his "ess".

I think Speilman's strategy is to trade down until he corners the market on 7th round picks.

If I had to listen to Thome stammer every game I'd have to go on suicide watch.

I think I've seen this before.

Heimlich Remover?

If he acts like he's not the guy and we think he's not the guy, maybe he's not the guy.

Oh oh! Amateur hour?

Whoa! Be still my heart! Rooker!

Ah, Grasshopper! Even the smallest pebble shines bright in a sea of mud.

It's hard to talk long-term when the Twins are busy choking in the short term. If you want to advance the runners, if we're lucky enough to have any runners, you can't do it by striking out.

Whoops. My bad! I usually get it right.

"Willians Astudillo has been an uninspiring replacement." Nick Nelson Huh? .289 average, 2 strikeouts? Garver and Sano added together have only .271 average and 44 strikeouts so the Turtle is better than both players combined. And then we have Cave at .155 average and 25 strikeouts. Time to back off criticizing El Tortuga and be thankful he's in the lineup. Respect the Turtle!

I hope the Twins eat Crowe today.

To answer the question; yes, Rocco needs a bench coach. Who? I don't know, but someone with a better feel for the game, better at using the bull pen, better at pushing the players to sharpen their skills, better at "head" coaching... Wait a minute. Maybe we just need a new manager.

"They managed to hit nine balls — two less than the Pirates — that qualified as being hard hit by Baseball Savant, though only two — Cave’s doubles — were converted into hits. They also hit six balls that had an xBA of at least .500, including Astudillo’s single and one of Cave’s doubles; Kirilloff's fly out in the second inning had an xBA of .700 and Polanco's line out in the fourth an xBA of .870." How many runs did that put up on the scoreboard?

Bats are afraid. Get out the Captain Morgan and a big havana.

The Turtle and the Cave Man!

What's with the errors?

Merry Christmas!

I had the same thought. Defensive substitution in the 9th?