Teflon

" Look for Jenkins to knock on the door to the big leagues in the early going of 2026" With the Twins' luck, Jenkins will injure his hand while knocking. I think the big leagues should install self-opening doors.

I was hoping for more of a Dan Campbell type of press conference.

I'm pretty sure Trevor Bauer would play for the Twins for a minimum contract. We could also let him coordinate the after-game drone show.

The championship Twins team of 87 had their foundational young core players already in place in 1982 - Hrbek, Gaetti, Brunansky, Viola. All of them would become All-Stars. Laudner and Bush were also up by 82 and Puckett would join in 84 and Gagne in 85. This current Twins team doesn't have anywhere close to that type of youth ready and their veterans Buxton, Ryan, Lopez and Jeffers will be past their primes by the time a competitive young core coalesces. Get value for the veterans now and view 2026 as Year 1.

We live in interesting absurd times.

Unfortunately, there are now tariff implications as Varland is technically a Canadian import, so the Twins are looking for additional minority owners to cover the expense. The ramifications of the Varland issue have continued to compound as the term "minority owner" triggered the interest of ICE - which hastily dispatched agents to Target Field.

Given the depleted roster and failed prospects, 4 or 5 years seems like the shortest possible timeline to rebuild the Twins - if we had a competent front office with the will to do so. To do that, the Twins need to get something of promise now for Buxton, Lopez, Ryan and Jeffers instead of waiting for their contracts to expire. They're never going to taste postseason bubbly again here in their careers - so it would be in their best interests to waive any no-trade restrictions and pick a contender. (Holds up a picture of Louis Varland pitching in the World Series as an example) Equate 2026 to 1982 when the Twins brought the core group of players together that would reach the World Series five years - and one GM change - later. That would assume we have the equivalent of young Hrbek, Gaetti, Laudner and Viola here, right now - and Puckett coming up in the minors. That would assume we could add Brunansky and Gagne for our veterans. That would assume we could deal for the likes of a Blyleven, Reardon, Berenguer and Gladden when we're on the doorstep. We should go all in on building the 2031 Twins.

I'm convinced the universe's underlying simulation reused Danny Valencia's code for Jose Miranda to save space as both were likely NPCs.

I thought it said he had a "shingles" problem. Now days they have vaccines for shingles - it would be nice if they had one for singles, too.

Tommy Tutone, like many of the Twins prospects, is a one-hit wonder.

This article should have a Mental Health Support Hotline number at the end.😒(my first emoji on Twins Daily)

I don't envision Torii having the patience to deal with the media after a loss, do you? Considering there will likely be 90 losses again next season, that seems like a challenge for both Torii and the media. Maybe the Twins can just forego the post-game interview and have the Front Office's A.I. press release generator put out their typical boilerplate statements.

Frankly, I'm surprised that either Wallner or Larnach wasn't shifted to 1B already given the glut of outfielders and the lack of first base persons.

I wouldn't call it a no-win situation - more like a 57-win situation.

1. MLB adopts a league-wide $70 million salary cap 2. Twins last remaining scout Scotty Carson finds yet another phenom playing for the Heeber Oilers. 3. ICE raids all other teams' Spring Training sites in one single-day sweep but the Twins are on a team trip to the petting zoo that day. 4. Twins analytics department hacked by WOPR, Colossus and HAL 9000. Team mysteriously ordered to bunt in every at-bat which turns out to be strangely effective. MLB begins discussions on limiting bunting. 5. Nike releases new uniforms accidentally made from steel wool and spun glass by Fansided instead of the usual polyester blend. While rest of league develops debilitating blisters and rashes, the Twins payment to Nike bounces and Twins fortuitously resort to wearing old "comfy" uniforms. 6. Smoke from wildfires in Saskatchewan shroud Target Field most of the summer. The Twins become strangely acclimated to decreased visibility and labored breathing, going 77-4 at home. The Twins and State of Minnesota shrug and allow smoking once again at the ballpark given the circumstances causing Bob Casey to roll over in his grave. 7. The Twins reinstate Wally the Beer Man, Greg Wilfahrt and bring back Dick Bremer to broadcast 28 games, finally reaching the 5,000 game milestone. Skies clear miraculously in time for the playoffs. The Twins are swept by the Yankees.

Front Office masterminds Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom were counting on 2025's production of "Springtime for Pohlad" having a short run.

No. If this was a veteran team I would consider it, but not with a makeshift group of players. Also, despite the press release saying the team is no longer for sale, I don't believe that. Let the new owners hire their own manager.

An objective way to measure this would be to count social media mentions.

Delmon Young was the most infuriatingly bad/nonchalant outfielder I ever saw play. He really needed to be a full-time DH but the Twins had Jason Kubel and Jim Thome who tied up the position.

After discovering CBD gummies I now only go through two, tops. I think taking a few in your pockets to games in 2026 may be a good idea.

This game was just such a refreshing throw-back to how baseball games used to be played, The starting pitchers went deep enough to keep the game from becoming a bullpen parade. Strikeouts were limited allowing more balls to be put in play and fielding to be more of a factor. There were enough good plays and scoring chances to keep fans engaged despite being a low-scoring game AND - it was played in a tidy 2 hours and five minutes. If anyone needs a pattern for the desired baseball game esthetic, they should look at this as an example.

Can Trevor Larnach be taught 1B?

It's a very limited field of owner candidates that are willing to pay over market value, take on $425 million in debt and still have Joe Pohlad calling the shots.

I was at the game when the roof tore in 1986. I first noticed that something was flickering in my eye. Looking up, I saw that the lights and the speakers were swaying. I thought, "this isn't good." When a mini-waterfall started falling in right field. I was getting a "Poseidon Adventure" vibe. The game was stopped and Bob Casey then told us to go to the concourses. People didn't leave right away because they wanted to watch what was happening. It took Casey invoking some of his "No Smoking" attitude to get people moving. I read that the incident was caused by the blowers that were supposed to keep the dome rigid not compensating correctly when the outside wind increased. Some facilities person manually turned them up to high and the roof went back up in a matter of minutes. I know the Twins used to manipulate the blowers for their own benefit from time to time so I was wondering if the auto-compensating function had been turned off for some reason during that game.

Baseball attendance is weird. In the 1960s and 1970s when the NFL hadn't become the juggernaut it is today, an average game attendance of 17,000 would still have been considered good in the Major Leagues. The Twins averaged 17,477 in 1962 which was 2nd in the American League. The Twins averaged 11,910 in 1971 which was still 5th in the American League. Baseball was the National Pastime, but people didn't pack the ballparks. Somewhere in the 1980s, baseball attendance started increasing even with the NFL now occupying the top spot in people's minds. When the Twins drew 15,499 in 1986, consistent with attendance figures mentioned earlier - this was now next to last in the American League. Considering the ballpark construction frenzy wouldn't start for another half decade, something else about this era was driving more people to the ballparks. Perhaps the ticket price relative to household income had hit a sweet spot. Perhaps the amount of locally free over-the-air broadcast games was becoming optimal, perhaps the upcoming generation of players like Ken Griffey Jr. were capturing imaginations again. I don't know, but attendance was rising. Then, spread out over the next 20 years, nearly all MLB teams built new ballparks, enjoying a 3 or 4 year novelty phase period in which fans flocked to them. To me, this has seemed like a bubble period... albeit a very long bubble. I never thought it was sustainable for the majority of MLB teams after the honeymoon phase of their ballparks. Without the novelty of new ballparks, with the loss of free broadcasts, with the ballpark experience no longer a cheap entertainment option for the average fan, with the prevalence of internet doom-saying discouraging more fans from attending when the team is losing, I'm not surprised if attendances revert back to what they once used to be,