That is really the gist of my meaning when I said I'd like to know his side of the story. Not his rationalization, per se, since there can be no excuse, but what in the world motivated him to go in that direction?
Your own self-portrayal resonated. I've never been diagnosed, but a couple of times in my life I've "shot a torpedo through my own hull" to get out of something with an air of finality that didn't make logical sense but seemed necessary at the time. I didn't do it in a way that took anyone else's ship down, of course; that is what makes Bender's action beyond the pale. Young people can make foolish decisions that will haunt them forever.
Several have wondered why Bender didn't take his concerns to his coaches or manager and ask for some time off. While I believe the Twins to be reasonably forward-thinking in their approaches, it still wouldn't surprise me if Bender did actually try to ask for some kind of respite, and got told that it wouldn't be a good look to end his first pro season with that kind of mark on his record. It's a fine line for any supervisor to toe in any line of work, and I would not expect the Twins to go public with that kind of detail of what did or didn't get discussed behind closed doors.
It's a sad situation and outcome, and I advocate compassion even if the crime itself is unforgivable in baseball terms. If Bender wants a baseball career it will probably have to be as a first-baseman, and then the bat has to be like a first-baseman's. Whatever odds he had when he got drafted (already low, as with anyone who's not a first-rounder) just got worse.