New Target Field Beverages, Reviewed by Former Industry Professional

[RandBalls Stu]

Image courtesy of RandBall's Stu

On Tuesday, I was invited to Target Field for a preview of the new food and drink offerings for the upcoming season. As a former industry professional, I focused on the drink side of the menu, but can heartily recommend Red Cow's Double Barrel burger and the Chocolate Fish on a Stick (it's a fish-shaped waffle, not actual fish).

I tried every single one of the alcoholic and N/A offerings available. My stomach wasn't what one would call pleased with that decision, but service journalism is a cause greater than one's gut biome.

MOCKTAILS

There are four craft mocktails available at Hrbek's, Town Ball Tavern, and Truly On Deck.

• Moon Shot (above right)--Tastes like Capri Sun.
• Change Up (above left)--Tastes like Sunny D.

• MVPina Colada (above right)--Tastes like summer. Best presentation of the four.
• Bullpen Breeze (above left)--Tastes closest to an actual cocktail, might be the presence of ginger beer. Best/least overly sweet of the four.

SUMMERTIME SHANDIES

A shandy is traditionally half beer, half lemonade. The Target Field offerings hew closer to a Berliner Weisse, which is usually a low-ABV sour beer topped with a splash of flavored syrup. In this case, it's just Bud Light and your choice of five syrup options. They will not let you do all five; I asked.

The two best flavors were raspberry (a nice little pucker without much cloying sweetness) and lemon (refreshing, pleasing bitterness). My least favorite was pear, which is a hard flavor to express in beer and was barely there in this iteration. Nouvelle Brewing in Robbinsdale had a fantastic pear sour, but I think it's retired.

These are available all over the park.

NIKO NIKO BOBA TEAS/DIRTY BOBA SODAS/BOOZY BOBAS

Boba teas, for the uninitiated, are drinks with little tapioca "pearls" in them. Niko Niko (section 120) has expanded its offerings with different flavors for both the liquid and the pearls. I had these immediately after the mocktails, which was a mistake. Listen to your mother about too much sugar, kids.

• Boozy Bobas: I enjoyed the Tequila Sunrise (tequila, mango, lemon, and strawberry pearls). The Peach Palmer (a boozy peach tea Arnie Palmer with mango pearls) and Rum & Jam (boozy Tahitian Treat) were too sweet for me.
• Dirty Boba Sodas: A boba-fied riff on the preferred drink of the state of Utah, I refuse to offer a review until that one Real Housewife apologizes for pelting her kid with furniture. Flavor offerings: Creamy Pepsi, Peachy Dew, and Pink Cream Soda.
• Boba: All three get a positive mark! Signature Milk Tea was delicious, Strawberry Lemon Fizz was good and citrusy, and Hawaiian Fruit Tea tasted like vacation. Your kids will love these, and I honestly preferred them to the mocktails.

MIX-AND-MATCH CARBLISS COCKTAILS

Carbliss takes over the old Grey Duck space in the left field corner and will be offering their low-cal, zero-carb, canned vodka cocktails in these buckets:

Those bad boys hold two cans of Carbliss. You can choose two of the same flavor or mix and match like a real mixologist. I preferred the blood orange of the six that were on offer. Yes, I tried all half-dozen flavors in a row. No, I don't recommend doing that, even with something as light and fizzy as Carbliss.

My prediction is that this will be extremely popular.

$2 BEERS

Before the first pitch of every Friday and Saturday game, Twins fans can enjoy $2 12-oz. cans of Budweiser, Bud Light, and Summit Twins Pils. You don't need me to tell you what Bud and Bud Light taste like; Summit Twins Pils is the best beer they make and is a steal (wordplay) at that price point.

OTHER DEVELOPMENTS

Pryes Brewing is taking over the bar where Sue Nelson plays the organ and multiple Twins Daily writers meet for the best standing-room view of the field. Smart move by them. I've had two Miraculum IPAs in my life. They were fine, but I haven't had enough of their other offerings to give an informed review.

Sun Cruiser is getting their own spot by Gate 34 with cornhole and putt-putt. Used to be the Jack Daniels Bar.

If you were concerned there weren't going to be enough seltzer/canned cocktail outlets on game day, Surfside also has their own spot down the left-field line, on the club level.

OUTSIDE THE STADIUM

• Best Dive Bar: Cuzzy's
• Best IPAs: Fulton
• Best Food/Beer Combo: Bricksworth
• Best THC Beverages: Modist

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[Cris E]

"I asked."    Beautiful.

[ashbury]

Is this a satire of satire?  Or some kind of 5-dimensional chess?

[The Great Hambino]

Pro tip for those looking to take advantage of the $2 pregame brewskis:

Many of the lines have you grab them from a cooler while you wait in line before checking out, so be prepared to be standing in line while holding cold cans of beer.  As you might have heard, it was chilly at the game, and they frown upon you drinking your beer before you pay for it, so be prepared to come with a hand-warming solution, uh, in hand. 

Luckily for us, they were handing out these convenient knit beer satchels to the first 10,000 fans in attendance.  A bunch of the uncultured rubes in attendance made fools of themselves by putting these satchels on their heads, but it became immediately obvious that there true value lies in the ability to use it to hold your beers while you wait in line so you don't freeze your fingers.

But they're not gonna be handing those out every game, so come prepared.  Or you can buy a coozie for six bucks.  They're not worth three beers, but to each their own.