Bombshell Investigation Reveals TC Bear Behind Regrettable Twins Daily Parody Article

[Lou Hennessy]

“I was hacked!” exclaimed Sweet Lou Hennessy while being pelted with rotten tomatoes. 
 

Image courtesy of Purple Wolf Graphics

A recent parody article was released on Twins Daily this week, which ruffled many feathers due to its subject material and general tone-deafness. But the writer in the byline is trying to save face with an investigation into the matter, and he might just be justified in his qualms. 
An inquisition into the article has revealed that the perpetrator of such a senseless piece of half-baked writing was actually none other than TC Bear, the longtime mascot of the Minnesota Twins. 
“Of course I would never write anything so ill-timed and tasteless,” said Lou Hennessy while sitting in time out. “The world is obviously still mourning Pope Francis’s tragic passing. It would be idiotic to release something like this so soon after his death.”
Hennessy is known for writing content for Twins Daily that is both unfunny and tacky, but this was a step too far according to many readers. 
“This guy is a hack and his sense of humor has always rubbed me the wrong way,” said a commenter with the username Forgive&Forget8791. “Now would be a perfect time for Twins Daily to cut ties with this loser. And the Twins should fire Rocco too, while we’re on the topic.”
Hennessy was made aware of the article that went out with his name attached when nobody would sit with him in the Twins Daily cafeteria during the lunch hour on Thursday afternoon. So he did some digging into the matter, and discovered that the piece was posted while he was attending morning mass at the Basilica of St. Mary, as he does each and every day. Hennessy then checked the security footage from his St. Paul compound, and discovered the Twins’ mascot had snuck into his home office and posted the indelicate parody in his name. 
TC Bear’s decision to frame Hennessy likely stems from the ongoing feud between the mascot and the hosts of the equally tacky Twins Off-Daily Podcast, which has tragically gained considerable popularity in recent weeks. 
“Look, I’ve been known to say stupid things that leave me eating crow, but even I know this was tactless,” said Hennessy as he applied his sad clown makeup. “I’m really sorry that I was attached at all, and I hope those that were offended by this mishap can practice the forgiveness that Pope Francis demonstrated every day of his incredible and inspirational life. I’ll make sure nothing this stupid is ever posted on the site again.”
As for TC Bear, authorities raided his den early on Friday and took him into custody. A substitute will don his backup costume for the series against the Angels while he awaits trial. 
“I thought I finally had Sweet Lou in a corner with this one,” said TC Bear as authorities took him away in comically oversized handcuffs.  “And I would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you meddling bloggers and your mangy Geek.” 
 

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[Greggory Masterson]

Enough is enough. The bear will pay.

[Craig Arko]

And here I thought it was TD’s lack of editorial policy. Huh.

[tarheeltwinsfan]

Thank you Lou and M.T.  

[goulik]

Without the real TC Bear, attendance may dip this season... Hopefully he will be out on good behavior by the time this road trip ends!!

[gil4]

Geez, I thought that was his best article.  Maybe it time to give that bear a regular gig.

[Western SD Fan]

I was hoping when we were jailing the TC Bear, it would be because he keeps switching the bats in the clubhouse with fungo bats and that explains the lack of offense this season.