Front Page: Local Goggles Sales Rep Banking On Minnesota Playoff Run

[RandBalls Stu]

“I’ve got a warehouse full of these damn things. I’ve worked every weekend for two years. I need this. I need this.”Pete Tesch needs a win.

 

The 57-year-old Waconia resident sells swimming gear and swimming accessories for a living. In a state with long winters, the margins are slim and the selling season short. The best way to make it to the next summer: clubhouse celebrations by local sports enterprises.

 

“None of these guys wanna get prosecco and Budweiser in their eyes, it stings,” says Tesch. “They get their magic number down to single digits or get up 3-1 in a series, they come to Pete. Outside of the (Minnesota) Lynx, not a lot of teams have been coming to Pete.”

 

While swimming lessons and water parks provide some off-season income, Tesch says the real moneymaker is a pennant or a title run.

 

“Chlorine stings a lotta kids’ eyes, and those parks pump those water slides full of it because some dope from Mower County forgets to put a swim diaper on his triplets,” says Tesch. “Still, their folks are just gonna get some cheapies. Eddie Rosario? He’s going to get the Cadillac of goggles. He’s going to get the Seaview 180. He’s going to get a dozen of them.”

 

Tesch held up the swim mask in question.

 

“Retails for $89. Top-of-the-line. Sleek, comfortable, watertight. It has a snorkel for oxygen or liquor intake. I’ve got a warehouse full of these damn things. I’ve worked every weekend for two years. I need this. I need this.”

 

Tesch was asked if it mattered if the Twins clinched in Minnesota or on the road.

 

“Buddy. I will drive these things straight to Detroit if they clinch next week. I got the Google Maps on my phone. If Cleveland snipes them I’ll drive to Cleveland. I know their goggles guy. I’ll take him down.”

 

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[USAFChief]

If Pete had any business sense, he would'a turned hisself into a one stop shop for post season to-do's. He'd also lock down the market on the 6 mil plastic sheeting they use to waterproof the locker room, and stock up on cheap champaigne. Have some "Minnesota Twins 2019 ALC Champions!!!" T-shirts already printed and overpriced.

 

Small time businesspersons stay small because they just don't see the big picture.

[Dave The Dastardly]

I got a pair of well-worn beer goggles I can loan out. Lenses are a little foggy, but that's the beauty of 'em!