Desperate Measures to Right the Stinking Ship

[Teflon]

My suggestion to Jim Pohlad - sell controlling interest of the team to Cameron and Tyler Winkelvoss. The true investment value of a sports franchise is in the unholy appreciation - not the day-to-day profit. That $44 million that the Pohlads spent in 1984 adjusts to about $100 million in 2016 dollars. The Twins would fetch somewhere around $900 million if sold now (well maybe not right now) so the Pohlads could realize a 800% ROI! Pohlads like that kind of thing, right? 

 

Why the Winkelvii?

 

http://cdn.bgr.com/2012/09/winklevoss-e1347890221371.jpg?w=624

 

First you have that whole twins/Twins thing going. How great is that? They could even stand out in the center field upper deck and shake hands when the Twins Byung Ho Park homers.

 

Second, you get, not one, but two Ivy-League educated masters of the universe making team decisions. That's almost twice as many as Theo Epstein. While the current Twins president's alma mater, the U of North Dakota, is sometimes referred to as the Harvard of Canada, I believe the actual Harvard background of the Winkies would be a nice upgrade for the Twinkies. 

 

Third, if nothing else the Twins would be getting a pair of athletes better than 23 to 25 of the current Twins.(The Winkies competed in the 2008 Olympics.) 

 

Fourth, you get a couple of guys whose chiseled Hollywood good looks and notable histories would ensure the Twins ballclub gets considerable pub. Better to be a horrible team that's still buzzworthy than a horrible team that's only zzzz's-worthy.

 

What Desperate Measures do you propose?

 

 

[USAFChief]

I was going to suggest seppuku, but you specified desperate.

[nicksaviking]

I was going to suggest seppuku, but you specified desperate.

I thought we were trying to clean up a mess, not add to it.

[twinsnorth49]

 

 

Second, you get, not one, but two Ivy-League educated masters of the universe making team decisions. That's almost twice as many as Theo Epstein. While the current Twins president's alma mater, the U of North Dakota, is sometimes referred to as the Harvard of Canada, I believe the actual Harvard background of the Winkies would be a nice upgrade for the Twinkies. 

 

 

Untruth.................it's McGill.