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Monitor: Manager of the Year and Fired?

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 04:53 AM
Aside from the first team to go from 100 losses to the playoffs (sort of), they may also be the first team to fire a manager just before...

Possible items to include in the October 1 game thread op...

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 04:48 AM
I am asking for TD posters to contact me via private message. I have the honor of opening the game thread for game 162, Sunday, Octo...

Happiest surprise for you this season?

Twins Minor League Talk Today, 04:48 AM
Since there isn't a lot going on in the minor leagues right this second, I figured I'd ask what your favorite surprise was this season fo...

Kennys Vargas....yes again.

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 01:45 AM
Dont blame another Vargas article on me! Well...not entirely anyway. My mind seldom shuts off, sometimes works in weird and mysterious wa...

Article: Charting A Twins Playoff Rotation

Minnesota Twins Talk Today, 12:57 AM
What once seemed unthinkable is now a crystallizing reality: The Twins are in all likelihood headed toward a one-game Wild Card showdown...

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Terry Ryan Getting Real Tired Of Putting On Derek Falvey Disguise Every Morning

Posted by Jon Marthaler , 24 February 2017 · 1,012 views

According to sources, Twins general manager Terry Ryan is getting more and more tired of having to dress up as former Indians executive Derek Falvey every morning at spring training, and is considering other options. Ryan, 63, hatched the deception last year as the Twins slid to the worst season in franchise history, but reportedly is tired of the extra work that the disguise involves.

Friends say that Ryan now grouses throughout his daily two-hour makeup session, which transforms him into a reasonable facsimile of Falvey, who until recently served as the general manager in Cleveland, where his partnership with manager Terry Francona helped return the woebegone franchise to the World Series in 2016. Ryan is also increasingly worried about the potential legal ramifications of kidnapping Falvey, former Rangers executive Thad Levine, and Minnesota director of baseball research Jack Goin, locking the three in a basement, and hiring actors to portray the latter two.

"Terry just wonders if he's doing the right thing here, what with the three counts of felony kidnapping he'll no doubt face," said a source. "Plus, the disguise is really starting to irritate his skin, especially the hairpiece."

Sources say that Twins president Dave St. Peter okayed the scheme midway through the 2016 season, allowing Ryan and company to keep control of the Twins' dealings for future seasons, while portraying a changing front office to disgruntled fans. St. Peter and others have been concerned about Ryan's offseason dealings, which were so Ryan-like as to raise questions from a fanbase that has long been used to the GM's over-cautious, cheap strategies.

Insiders say that Ryan is considering hiring a third actor to portray Falvey, while officially returning to the team as a "special advisor," thus removing the need for the morning disguise routine. Ryan has also toyed with the idea of "outing" himself by awarding a roster spot to a terrible veteran pitcher at the expense of a prospect, but - after signing Hector Santiago, Matt Belisle, and Ryan Vogelsong - is unsure how much more he could do.

"He's just getting tired," said the source. "If he signs Jason Bartlett again, then you'll know - he wants people to find him out. Until then, he'll have to keep going with the ruse."

  • Parker Hageman, TRex, Cory Engelhardt and 6 others like this



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Walter's Whites
Feb 24 2017 01:08 PM

If someone in the front office says "They battled their tales off" or "He was really spinning it today", we'll know Gardy is in.

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specialiststeve
Feb 24 2017 04:35 PM

that is pretty weird!

The bad new about the last 6 years of Twins baseball, is the Minnesota Twins! The good news, in its wake comes an article like this. :). As any reader of The Onion knows, the secret is to make a ridiculously impossible scenario appear to be almost plausible. Well done Sir!
    • Oldgoat_MN likes this