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Dave The Dastardly

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Everything posted by Dave The Dastardly

  1. Dave The Dastardly
    Here's an Easter story to while away the time. My mother, who grew up on the wrong sides of the tracks (fortunately she married my dad who grew up on the right side of the tracks so I grew up in the middle of town) told us she and her siblings always got real live chicks for Easter presents. Then after the kids named their chicks and played with them their dad (major *******) moved the chicks out to the shed when they started to feather out and butchered them when they were big enough to eat; being sure to tell the kids which "pet" it was they were eating. So when we were kids my mother would give us a box of chicks for Easter, we'd name them, play with them, but after a week or so we'd drive out to my uncle's farm and turn them in with the rest of his flock. Sort of a salvation thing. Anyway, many years later I was reminding my uncle of the annual pilgrimage to release our chickens and how he could always point out by name which full grown chickens were ours on subsequent trips. He laughed and told me never knew which ones were which as they all looked alike, so he'd just point at a chicken and say, "There's Flossie" or whatever. The thing was, whenever we went out to the farm for Sunday dinner, my uncle would take his .22, step out the back door and pick off three or four chickens for our meal, always telling us worried kids that he was careful not to shoot "our" chickens. The moral of the story; Know who you are and never run with the flock as you might catch a bullet.
  2. Dave The Dastardly
    I got an error code once after I opened up the "Do Not Open" panel. It was 'WTF R U Doing?" Anyybody familiar with that?
  3. Dave The Dastardly
    I've had mine for 32 years. Granted I have to dry now that I'm retired...
  4. Dave The Dastardly
    Did it hurt to freeze yourself? I'm kinda curious 'cause I've been thinking about cremation.
  5. Dave The Dastardly
    Whakatane? Wasn't that the name of the corporate skyscraper in "Die Hard"? Ja! I see him!
  6. Dave The Dastardly
    What about barrel of the bat?
  7. Dave The Dastardly
    Not until the Roscato is gone.
  8. Dave The Dastardly
    Kepler?
  9. Dave The Dastardly
    Spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread and a couple bottles of Roscato. What can I say, we're non-traditional. We're not even Italian.
  10. Dave The Dastardly
    I thought it had to do with baseball players playing in cold and wet weather no matter where they are. My bad.
  11. Dave The Dastardly
    Colder and wetter in Minnesota in April and they want the Twins to play? We don't need no stinking roof!
  12. Dave The Dastardly
    Nice analysis. However like most things, the proof will be in the pudding. And like most comments so far, I'm clicking the heels of my red shoes together and repeating the refrain; I hope he can, I hope he can... Wait a minute! Am I mixing up my metaphors? See what Gibby does to Twins fans...
  13. Dave The Dastardly
    Good news/bad news. Bad news: I have looked forward to this day for three months - maybe longer. Then three days ago I learned I have a family obligation to attend this afternoon. The good news; the obligation will be held at a sports bar and grill during happy hour!!!!!!!! Christmas in March!!!!!!!!
  14. Dave The Dastardly
    I think the head scratching is caused by a case of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence for the FO. For some reason Rule 5 pickups, players other teams don't protect, seem to enamor them more than our own prospects. Now while Shaggy has earned a spot in the Dodger's pen, we'll carry Kinley like deadweight in ours.
  15. Dave The Dastardly
    I have Hookem, Crookem and Snookem on retainer. Very reputable.
  16. Dave The Dastardly
    As long as we're going archaic, how about Hammond Hammurabi? It's got that alliteration thing going for it. And you know, because we're sort of looking for a guy who can lay down the law. That's an historic pun by the way. What can I say, it's a slow Sunday afternoon.
  17. Dave The Dastardly
    Ill vote romero... what's that mean in Latin?
  18. Dave The Dastardly
    I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around this. Sire - the male parent of an animal, esp. a stallion or bull kept for breeding. Is that what they're doing down there in spring training? Talk about greener pastures...
  19. Dave The Dastardly
    Take the mound and get us deep into the game! (virtual pat on the fanny).
  20. Dave The Dastardly
    That clinches it, I'm going to spend a weekend in Cedar Rapids this summer. Already downloaded the Kernels schedule. Anybody have any suggestions as to which series?
  21. Dave The Dastardly
    Maybe more than the balls were juiced for the last couple months of last season.
  22. Dave The Dastardly
    Sounds kinda rocky to me.
  23. Dave The Dastardly
    "I'm glad I ain't afraid to be lazy." Augustus McCrae - Lonesome Dove You could add me to the same fearless crowd.
  24. Dave The Dastardly
    Nice article with a great title! Love it!
  25. Dave The Dastardly
    Thanks for the vid link. Have to agree, he doesn't look grossly overweight. From some of the comments I'd expected to see him using a wheelbarrow to hold his gut in place while he runs down to first. And they saw the camera puts 10 pounds on people. Maybe for the Sanoman the camera takes 10 pounds off.
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