Dave The Dastardly

I agree with the low bar setting. Twins' fans have become so desperate for any signs of improvement they'd go ga-ga if the current management ordered a new case of bats. I guess we'd have to better define "bold and strong" before passing judgement. I don't know how bold it is to realize you don't have a catcher, then go out and sign one. I mean what were the Twinkies going to do next year, just let the pitch roll to the backstop? For me "bold and strong" would be convincing ownership to let Molitor go and replacing him with a manager that's proven he can work with young players, has a temperament that doesn't allow players to continually screw up and knows how to win. Dougie for Molli. Now that's bold and strong in my book.

A) Signed for two more years at a comparatively low salary is a plus, not a minus. Age 30 is no longer the line in the sand it used to be. If it were, why do we have minor league players age 26? Even if we brought them up to the majors in 2017, they'd be toast in three years. Besides, wasn't the new brain trust hinting they wanted to acquire an older player to supply that intangible "leadership"? C) If Dozier's value is predicated on him being able to help a play-off level team, why would that team give up a key player, or pitcher, (which is supposedly what we're after) to get him? Especially if pitching is king? Why cut their own throats? D) What do the Twins have, 5 minor league teams? And none have a potential No. 2 pitcher on their roster? (I'm assuming that also means we don't have No 1's down there either.) Jeez! Clear the deadwood out before they turn 30 and draft nothing but pitchers. And get new scouts and new pitching coaches. E) The current pitching staff woes on the major league team isn't the core issue, instead it's a symptom of an organizational problem. Trading Dozier for one or two more "prospects" is a short term "fix"that will not solve the organizational problem. If anything, our dysfunctional minor league system will screw up the pitching prospects while the major league team struggles to find an RBI guy to replace Dozier. Completely overhauling the minor league philosophy and its coaching staff as well as replacing the scouting department will prove more beneficial in the long run than a Dozier trade, so why spend precious time playing Let's Make A Deal? Forget it, and bring Dougie up to the major league club as bench coach/manager of the future. There. That's my two cents worth, which adjusted for inflation is probably somewhere around $20 nowadays. Still not worth much.

I don't get all this excitement over the possibility of trading Dozier. We (the Twins) finally get a genuine power hitter, after not having one for years, and the first thing we want to do is swap him for a pitching prospect? What? We don't have any pitching prospects in our minor league system? Oh, wait a minute, we supposedly have a half dozen or so exciting prospects already in the minors. If we want to believe the hype. And if we believe the hype, why do we want another prospect? Does that word "prospect" mean something different than what I think it means? Trading Dozier reminds me of folks already in debt up to their elbows getting a new credit card; temporary euphoria because they can keep buying new stuff, but a long-term problem when they realize they gave away the farm for a cheap temporary thrill. I noticed the author of this article termed the JJ Hardy trade as "regrettable". I think the Dozier trade, if it happens, will wind up with the same characterization when all the "experts" start complaining about the lack of power in the lineup. The point is you can't build a winning team by exchanging one component for another. Especially when the newly acquired component may or may not pan out. Unless our long term plan is to trade some of our pitching prospects for a power hitting prospect in a year or two (swapping out components again), I say keep a known quantity (Dozier) and build your new team around him. Otherwise you're merely playing whack-a-mole.

I don't like the theory at all. We've screamed for years about the Twinkies always picked up reclamation projects off the baseball players scrapheap and throwing their salaries away by mid-season when "hope" that the Twins Way would rescue them from incompetence vanishes. This flipping idea is worse and sounds more like going to the casino when you're short rent money. Here's a smarter strategy in my humble opinion; bring up all those not-so-young-anymore prospects that have been languishing in the minors while we try and milk a few wins out in the majors and find out if they're really as good as the hype. If they are, we have lots of decent players under team control. If they can't cut the mustard, flip them to another team and restock the minors with more "prospects". You want a "consistent long-term winner" as the new brain trust's announced grand strategy has proclaimed, that's the way to do it. Not short term flipping.

I wouldn't call the dismissal of two coaches a "shake-up". And dismissing Bruno but retaining Allen who's pitching staff owned the bottom of the major leagues smacks of illogical thinking for two guys supposedly into analytics. Hey, you're either into using data or you're not. If you are, Allen should've been out the door ahead of Bruno. Neither have I been impressed with the new management's degree that their plan is to build a team that consistently does well over the long term. Jeez! What a revolutionary concept! I bet there isn't another team in baseball that ever thought of doing that. If it's first occurring to the Twins organization I guess we were even further behind the ball than I thought. And they're going to add an experienced free agent player for "leadership"? How about adding a guy who can hit, or pitch? If you're worried about leadership, get a different manager. Leadership is supposed to be in his job description. Isn't it? Sorry folks, but I'm not jumping on the bandwagon quite yet. I need to see something besides platitudes and minor tweaks before I break out the Homer Hanky again.

Thank You for the interpretation.

What's that mean in American?

#18 Because I misplaced my self-flagellation whip.

Prospect Rankings are like the old Seer-Sucker Theory; for ever Seer who claims he can predict the future, there's some sucker who believes him. There's only one way to "predict" whether or not a guy is going to cut it in the Majors; put him there, let him play and see what happens.

A-Rod comes with some baggage? That has to be the understatement of the year. The guy has more character flaws than Donald Trump. Well, maybe not that many. As a mentor for the young Twinkies? Huh? You mean like how to avoid getting caught doing PEDS, then lying about it after the evidence was solid against him? Adding A-Rod to the Twinks would be like driving a stake in Dracula's heart. I can think of no better way to drive away what fans the Twins can still count on.

Carlos Gomez? "The" infamous Carlos Gomez of inconsistency fame? Why waste the money? We can have the inconsistent Buxton on the squad for less dough. Besides, glancing at the roster, the Twinkies are long on outfielders anyway. I'd rather see a young'un get a chance than pick up another oldster off the junk heap.

Sorry, but I just have to jump in here and throw a wet blanket over some of the posted opinions. If this gets rather lengthy, shoot me. 1) Regarding search firms. I have had some experience with search firms on a personal level and I have never been impressed. In my experience they are no better or no worse on selecting the "perfect" candidate than an organizational committee. Just take a look at both Mpls and St. Paul school boards record for hiring superintendents as well as the Univ. of MN when hiring AD's. All three use search firms and all three replace "perfect" hires almost yearly. The real role for search firms is to provide a scapegoat for when the new Messiah trips on his robe. Let's face it; hiring is always a crapshoot no matter who's making the decision. 2) Get over this bias against internal candidates. Just about anyone worth his salt is going to be an internal candidate at some point in his career. If he's not, why does he have a responsible role in the organization? Yeah, he may have followed along with his former boss' beliefs and methods, but what else do you expect from a trusted employee? But going along with the boss doesn't mean all internal candidates are clones of the former boss. A good organizational man/woman will have observed what works and what hasn't worked and formed their own ideas of what they would do different if they were in charge. That's a plus that no external candidate will have; that first hand knowledge within the organization. 3) What serious outside candidate would risk their career coming to the Twins? The owner has already "hired" the manager for next year, the major league club is pitiful and a long ways from posting another winning season, the minors are full of unproven "prospects" that may or may not pan out but need to be brought up to the Bigs in order to determine if they're major league material, the organization itself is dysfunctional and the ownership is notorious for doing things on the cheap. So if you're an up and coming GM candidate and anxious to prove your moxie so you can someday move on to a big name club, would you want to roll the dice and hire on with the Twins? As we used to say in my business, paraphrasing of course, the Twins are a ball club where GMs go to die, not build a career. So if the team can't attract serious external candidates, are we better off to hire a marginal candidate just because he's "external"? 4) Quit with the analytics. Yeah, its a helpful tool, but it's just that; a tool. One of many needed to run a ball club. You wouldn't hand a mechanic one wrench and expect him to overhaul an engine so why would anyone expect a GM to be a one trick pony with analytics? General Manager means the guy has to be good at overseeing an entire organization, not just one department. If the guy can't get all the departments on the same page, analytics isn't going to save his ass. Or put the Twins back in the "not-embarrassing" portion of the win column. My advice, give Antony the next few months to prove he's not a Terry Ryan clone and instead of wasting time and money on "searching" for an outside candidate, let it be known external candidates will be considered and see who wants to throw his hat in the ring. It may be humbling.

Landlines ceased to exist about the same time the human species was irretrievably linked to cell phones. We are now the Borg. Resistance is Futile. Sort of like the Twins.

We used to say clever things in baseball, using words that conveyed a sense of excitement; a sense of action. A batter delivered a crucial hit and you’d hear/read things like “Kepler drives in a run!” Or “Escobar scores on a key hit up the middle!” “Drives” and “scores” are commonly used and easily understandable verbs that connote action and excitement. That’s a good thing. But now if you read game wrap-ups on the Twins official site, our guys don’t do exciting things anymore (Which is true in more ways than one). Now our runs are “plated”. What the hell does that mean? I asked that very same question of the American Dictionary. Guess what, the big American Dic doesn’t know either. There’s “plates” - the things most of us non-barbarians use to hold our food until we shovel it down between burps - and there’s “plating”; coating an object with some sort of overlay. So I guess if Twins batters “plated” a baserunner, it means they coated him with something; gold, bronze, cheap veneer, liquid horse manure? And how do they accomplish that? They got like a spray gun or something underneath their jerseys they whip out and hose down the incoming baserunner before they take off for first themselves? Or maybe they use one of those electroplating gizmos; they stick a couple probes into the baserunner as he goes by and then hit the juice, leaving the runner coated in galvanized gray. You know, in case he has to stand out in the rain during outdoor baseball. Okay. Maybe I’m a purist, or even an anal retentive pedantic, but you know what, it’s irritating enough following the Twins while wearing a bag over your head without having to reach for the ear muffs and blinders, too. So for the sake of Twins fans’ sanity everywhere do us a favor Twins reporters and use some action verbs when describing what little excitement takes place on the field. Don’t make me come over there and plate you!

So you've never had to listen to Joe Morgan?

Boy! A little anal, are we?

Here's the problem; the Twins best prospects are stuck in the minors because of deadweight in the majors. So the solution is to clear out the deadweight, bring the kids up and let them learn how to play while the fans are enjoying beer and food in the stadium. Cut the price of the brewskis and the "fans" won't even watch the kids make mistakes. They'll be too busy sucking up the "stadium experience". That's a euphemism for "drinking too much beer". They'll also willingly buy 2018 Twins jerseys which the club can sell for outrageous prices. There will be numbers on the jerseys, but no names... maybe blanks the fans can fill in with magic markers - the kind that can be erased. So how do we clear the roster? Keep in mind we really don't want any players in return because what we're doing is creating room for the "utes" in the minors. So put Bill Smith in charge of trading the deadweight. If anybody can can empty a roster and not get anything in return, Smith's the man. "Go Twins" will have a whole new meaning.

A worse fate for Cold Omaha could not have gone as well As watching the team called the Twins go completely to hell. There are infielders in the outfield and young outfielders looking in, Batters missing pitches and ineffective pitchers in the pen. Old arms are throwing homers while young flamethrowers are being hosed, Sitting in the minors counting the years on their toes. The manager seems baffled, the front office unaware While fans are leaving the stadium headed anywhere but there. Minnesotans are masochists, winter proves that to be true But even a loyal Twins fan can’t shiver when he’s blue. There seems to be no answer, no solution to the drought Except to start the massacre and throw everybody out.

He's been found! And he is on his way back to Rochester. Just thought I'd mention that before I get swamped with comments telling me the same thing.

I didn't catch (neither did JR Murphy) all the game last night even though it was at the top of my priority list. Why? Berrios, the latest Twins pitching Messiah, was supposed to take the mound. As it was I turned on the radio in the third inning and... Berrios was gone! Gone! Like in no longer in the game! The third inning! Okay. Like Forrest said, things happen. The kid might've fallen off the mound, caught a liner with his teeth, collided with Boy Mountain Sano while taking the field... Hell, he might've been abducted by aliens, transported right off the mound. Or maybe, just maybe, he was under the mound waiting to do that Lazarus thing when things got hairy. But it was already hairy. I think it was like 8-2 in favor of the Tigers when I tuned in. Okay. So what happened to the kid? Along about the 5th inning the radio announcers mentioned Berrios in passing... Wait a minute. Bad choice of words there. Unless he was going to attempt that Lazarus thing. Anyway, I learned the Messiah had gotten torpedoed after two thirds of an inning. Two thirds? Is that like two outs, or 45 minutes? Whichever comes first? Anyway, that was it for information on Berrios. So what happened to the Messiah? Couldn't find the strike zone? Was he serving up fatballs (that's not a mispelling)? Did he fall off the mound and break his leg? So I checked the Twinkies web site this morning; no mention of Berrios. So did the aliens really get him? And then zap the stadium with mind-erasing lights so no one would remember? Or is he already on the bus back to Rochester - the place where all Twins prospects go until they're "ready". It's sort of like Hotel California... you can check out whenever you want but you can never leave.

I think you're spot on. Let's find out if these "prospects" can play right now otherwise there is no future for the Twins. The only thing I'd add to your list is replacing Molitor with Dougie. This team needs a fiery manager. Grandpa ain't cutting it.

Okay, you’re 8-25, 14 games out of first and one fifth of the season has already gone by the wayside. So what do you show for video highlights on your website? A single that drove in a run? A couple of catches in the outfield? Granted, getting an RBI is a rarity for this team, even a clean catch in the outfield is something to write home to mom about, but come on, is that all real baseball fans have to look forward to this season? What’s next? Mauer chewing bubble gum? A surreptitious sunflower seed spit that clears the bench railing? Let’s face it. Twins baseball isn’t baseball anymore. It used to be fans went to the ballpark to see a competitive game, to watch their favorite players make great plays. Nowadays “fans” are there for the “experience”; good views of the field (but with no idea of what their supposed to be viewing), novel food items (sold at outrageous prices), social media contacts (with other “fans” who are there to stare at their smart phones) and of course a chance to acquire a new souvenir as proof they’ve actually partaken in the “experience”. For these fans, great plays are optional. Besides, they’ll probably be eating nachos or buying a T-shirt when the great play is made anyway. Maybe they’ll catch the replay on ESPN the next day. Call me a curmudgeon. Call me a cynic. Call me anytime but during a Vikings game, but I think us oldtime baseball fans have to admit it; there’s nothing for us to watch (except in horror) when the Twins take the field. This team isn’t built to win, it’s built to entertain the mindless masses. When the main attraction is a different food on a stick, or a strange dish created by a fat chef from Timbukto, who cares if the team can’t catch, can’t hit and can’t pitch? It’s the experience, man! Gimme a side order of nachos with that! And one of them $8 beers. Make that two. What? There’s a game going on? So as long as the experience-seekers are buying tickets, there’s no incentive for the Twins organization to try and field a competitive team because it makes no difference if they’re competitive or not. You can sell a ticket and a footlong hot dog to a fat guy who wouldn’t know a bunt from a line drive just as well as you can to the schmuck who’s following the game by keeping score, except the fat guy might eat two or three footlongs while he’s “experiencing” whereas the scorekeeping fan won’t want to take his eye off the game; except to slip the paper bag over his head.