A worse fate for Cold Omaha could not have gone as well

As watching the team called the Twins go completely to hell.

There are infielders in the outfield and young outfielders looking in,

Batters missing pitches and ineffective pitchers in the pen.

Old arms are throwing homers while young flamethrowers are being hosed,

Sitting in the minors counting the years on their toes.

The manager seems baffled, the front office unaware

While fans are leaving the stadium headed anywhere but there.

Minnesotans are masochists, winter proves that to be true

But even a loyal Twins fan can’t shiver when he’s blue.

There seems to be no answer, no solution to the drought

Except to start the massacre and throw everybody out.