Lou Hennessy

As the team gears up for their playoff push, they’re hoping to fetch some depth from an unlikely source. A pack of candidates to potentially secure a last-minute bench spot on a contending team are polishing their collars and stretching their tails. A source with the Twins has confirmed that the club will hold an open tryout for any dog attending their newly-announced return of the fabled “Bark at the Park” night on September 24th. The team is said to have one final bench spot reserved for any pooch that can beat utility player Austin Martin in a foot race around the base paths. The challenger must also fit into Martin’s uniform specifications, as the team is unwilling to purchase a new jersey. “Yeah, I can’t say I love it,” a frustrated Martin said as he geared up for an extra round of conditioning, his fourth round of the day since learning of the planned spectacle. “I feel like I’ve done a good job, yet here comes Air Bud to swoop in and try to nab my roster spot right before the playoffs.” For what it’s worth, the team still really likes what they’ve seen from Martin, who hasn’t had a dazzling debut this season, but is still firmly in their plans going forward. This is seen as a way for the club to catch, er, fetch lightning in a bottle. “We’re a really good club and I have the utmost faith in the guys that we have in our dugout already,” said Derek Falvey as he finished installing a fire hydrant in the corner of the Twins’ clubhouse, which just so happened to be directly next to Martin’s locker. “We have a lot of good boys that deserve all the belly rubs in the world for the way they’ve played this year. But it’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t explore every route possible.” The contending hounds are set to complete a handful of tasks beyond the aforementioned foot race, such as establishing who can properly sit on a pitch, without rolling over and playing dead. They’ll check each player’s release point, and they’ll balance that with their tail-chase percentage and their woof rate. The first “Bark at the Park” promotion was a relative success when it came to getting tails in the seats in late-April, but this new level is going to take those same pups and get them in the game itself. Among the group of evaluators at the event will be Betsy Helfand of the Pioneer Press, whose preparation for this event rivals the training montage in Rocky VII: Adrian’s Revenge. “You know how long I’ve been waiting for this?” Helfand said, cracking her knuckles in a menacing fashion. “I’m ‘bout to make a name for myself here.” If a contender can successfully supplant Martin, the Twins will need to make a corresponding roster move, and they’ll have to negotiate a proper contract that could cost the club upwards of 10,000 milk bones, plus an undetermined amount of pup cups of whipped cream at various points of the final six weeks as bonus incentives. “I told our decision-makers that I wanted someone who could be a bulldog for us down the stretch, but I guess I would also accept a lab, terrier or some variety of shepherd if it helps us win games,” said manager Rocco Baldelli. “But no poodles.” View full article

The multi-talented sideline reporter and studio host impressed the team’s top brass with her rendition of God Bless America, and now they want to see what she can provide on the mound. The Twins are hoping to put their best foot forward against their first-place rivals this weekend, and in doing so, they are turning to the sideline. Sources within the clubhouse have all but confirmed that sideline reporter Audra Martin will make a start against the Cleveland Guardians, which will be her much-anticipated big league debut. But Martin is no stranger to the spotlight. Her incredible rendition of God Bless America at last Sunday’s series finale against the Chicago White Sox captivated the masses, and her voice added yet another feather to her multifaceted cap. “Is there anything Audra can’t do? She just continues to impress, day after day,” said Twins manager Rocco Baldelli after the game. “I’ll tell you what - I’d love to have a bulldog like her on our side this weekend when we take on those bubblahs from Cleveland.” Behind that quintessential Rhode Islander smack talk arose an idea. With Martin coming up with new talents on a regular basis, maybe she could be just what the Twins seek as they try to solidify the back end of their rotation. But the competition for that role has started to heat up. Rookie David Festa continues to impress after an underwhelming debut, fan-favorite Randy Dobnak recently earned a promotion to the big league pitching staff, and top-prospect Zebby Matthews is knocking on the door at Triple-A, along with a resurgent Louie Varland. But those arms simply can’t match up with Martin when it comes to one key factor – the will to win. “Audra? She’s got a fire that I’m not sure anyone in the league can match up with,” said outfielder Trevor Larnach as he pressed an ice pack to the back of his neck. “I was shooting hoops this morning and she came in, chugged an entire Red Bull, smashed the can against her forehead and then posterized me with a perfect windmill dunk. I think she was even wearing high heels.” That tenacity will come in handy this weekend when the Twins face arguably their biggest rival in a heated four-game AL Central showdown. With Minnesota trailing by just a handful of games, every matchup is going to count. But Martin seems up for the challenge. Reporters on scene this morning witnessed her grueling workout routine in the team gym, where Martin was maxing out the back press and throwing 101 MPH pull-downs between sets. Later in the day, she stopped to talk to local media members. “I just want to help the team however I can. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to make a breakthrough here,” she said as she turned back to her microscope, where she has been researching a cure for cancer. “It’s all in a day’s work.” When she’s not working the trenches as a well-respected sideline reporter, or slam dunking a basketball, or singing in front of a packed stadium, or curing cancer, Martin is known as a savant of the game who constantly absorbs new information. In fact, many players gravitate to her when they want tips on their own game. “Do you all remember when I learned my sweeper last year? Yeah, that was all Audra’s idea,” said staff ace Pablo López as he struggled to match the weight Martin had set on the back press machine. “Don’t get me wrong, our coaching staff does a fantastic job. But at the end of the day, there’s one voice in the room that pulls all the strings, and it was the one singing in front of 30,000 people before the seventh inning stretch on Sunday.” It’s not certain which game Martin will start this weekend, but it’s becoming clear that she is on track to make a name for herself, yet again, as an all-time trailblazer for the franchise. Soon her name could be mentioned with other Twins’ legends of yesteryear. First came Harmon. Then came Kirby. Now Twins Territory finds itself in the era of Audra. View full article

With MLB’s trade deadline just hours away, the Twins are hoping to secure any possible value from the core of journalists who cover the team on a daily basis. Decades-long trends in the news media industry suggest they'll fail. Image courtesy of © Joseph Scheller/Columbus Dispatch / USA TODAY NETWORK While many are hoping for the Twins to make a splash on the trade market before the 5 PM deadline Tuesday, the club might be content to merely shed some of the expense coming from their press box. While none of the beat writers are actually under contract with the team, it isn’t stopping the club’s decision-makers from trying like hell to send them to another organization. “At the end of the day, we’re going to do what’s right for our team,” said Twins President of Baseball Operations Derek Falvey. “And right now, nothing would make me happier than to clear some of the dead weight from the hounds that won’t stop bothering me every day.” A lot of questions have surfaced since rumors started swirling about the Twins calling other teams to gauge interest in names such as Dan Hayes of The Athletic, Phil Miller of the Star Tribune and Betsy Helfand of the St. Paul Pioneer Press. What do they hope to get in return? Who do they expect to replace them if they are indeed traded? What sort of hard liquor have they ingested that led them to this point? “Those are all valid questions and I can certainly understand the confusion,” Falvey said, as he submitted a post for a gently-used Bobby Nightengale on Facebook Marketplace. “But honestly, I’d take 50 cents on the dollar just to get them out of my sight.” There have been a few teams who have expressed lukewarm interest in a couple of the writers, but they have insisted that the Twins include more prospect capital if they hope to move any of the beleaguered, disheveled, washed-up scribes. “If we’re going to be saddled with Aaron Gleeman for the rest of the season, it’s going to take one of their top five prospects to sweeten the deal on our end,” said a source from an American League team who wished to remain nameless. “We like the chemistry we’ve created in our press box, and we don’t need him ruffling any feathers for nothing. We’re not going to make a trade just to make a trade – especially for some old coot with a bad hip.” Gleeman is one of the few writers in this group who actually has a no-move clause that would need to be waived to push a deal across the finish line. It’s not so much a matter of him feeling loyalty to his hometown club, or holding out for a contract extension, but rather he simply does not like to move. Among the writers who could potentially fetch a respectable return is Do-Hyoung Park, of MLB.com and Jeopardy! fame. “I actually really like Do and I think he’s well-regarded around the league,” Falvey admitted. “But I can’t pass up the opportunity to sit him down in my office and give him the clue ‘this Twins’ beat reporter just got traded to the Tampa Bay Rays for a used 1994 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme’ just to see the look on his know-it-all face.” Falvey and the Twins are going to have to move fast if they hope to sell low on these writers, and the prospect of trading them all away leads to one last line of questioning for the club’s chief: If they are all traded, who is going to report these deals across Twins Territory? Will Twins Daily be first in line to replace them? “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve heard their off-day podcast,” Falvey said adamantly. “I wouldn’t let those hacks anywhere near the press box. They can swim in my pool but they can’t come in the house.” Rude. Fair, but rude. View full article

I'm sorry if this rubbed you the wrong way! I'll check the schedule at the Cope Harder Foundation to see if they have any groups that can help anyone who is feeling slighted.

Longtime detractors of the Twins icon are licking their wounds as Mauer receives the game’s highest honor. Image courtesy of Brad Rempel, USA Today It was a beautiful day for Twins fans as baseball’s Hall of Fame prepared for the induction of Joe Mauer into its hallowed list of the game’s mightiest heroes. But not everyone celebrated as St. Paul’s native son made history. A support group for Mauer’s staunchest critics was created in December after it was announced that he surpassed the 75% vote threshold that is necessary for induction into Cooperstown, and now that group has seen its attendance grow tenfold as he officially receives the game’s highest honor. “Look, this is a field where it’s gauche to celebrate a record-high number of participants seeking help,” said Dr. Richard Rivers of the Cope Harder Foundation. “But honestly, these people are some of the most miserable that I’ve ever met in my 32 years in the field, so I’m happy we can give them a place to try and release the toxic thought process that has lived in their head for years.” The Cope Harder Foundation was started in 1992 by a group of mental health professionals who are keenly aware of the troubled nature of people who suffer from chronic pessimism. Their first group revolved around detractors who claimed the Twins had no shot of winning the pennant in 1991, but were proven woefully wrong after one of the most thrilling and satisfying championships in North American sports history. Now, the majority of the participants that attend daily meetings are going through an identity crisis after years of adamant proclamations that they know "ball better than anyone," and that Mauer should be in the “Hall of Very Good” rather than Cooperstown. “I just can’t get my head around the fact that voters thought this guy was one of the best players in the history of baseball,” said a befuddled client as they walked into CHF’s Highland Park campus. “How could Mauer get in but my guy Doug Mientkiewicz didn’t get a single vote? It just doesn’t add up.” The groups start by trying to focus on reasonable explanations for how Mauer earned his honor. From talking about his numerous awards and accolades, to his strong character and hometown hero storyline, logic points to the Twins icon being more than deserving of induction. But the people seeking support from CHF defy logic, and may not even be able to define it. “He wasn’t even a catcher for the last four years of his career! This is lunacy,” said another attendee as a small vein in his forehead started to protrude. “How hard can it be? I catch for my beer league softball team every other week, and you don’t hear me complaining.” Chronic pessimism has run rampant through Minnesota sports fandom for years. Experts say it’s a natural defense mechanism for emotionally immature losers that insist on spreading their pathetic gloom to those they see as happier and more well-rounded. So how can society alleviate themselves from the plight of these knuckle-dragging cynics? “This has been a busy weekend for us, and it makes our mission a lot harder if we’re the only ones calling out our clients’ pitiful behavior in the light of so much celebration,” said Dr. Rivers from the observation room adjacent to the meeting area. “What we recommend is everyone printing out a copy of Mauer’s Baseball Reference page and showing it to any detractors at their first sign of lashing out. That usually shuts them up pretty damn fast.” The Mauer-centered groups meet daily, just after the Packers Fan Living In Minnesota group gets out. For a list of future group openings, just consult Twitter after any regular season loss and follow the crowd of dimwits. View full article

It remains to be seen if the Twins will be buyers at the Jul. 30 trade deadline, but reports are coming out that they will sell one of their longtime veterans--by any means necessary. Image courtesy of © Bruce Kluckhohn-USA TODAY Sports The Twins are hoping this trade deadline will be a bear market--that is, a good market for shopping their bear. It’s not often that a franchise will explore the idea of trading someone who has been with their organization for 24 seasons, especially when they find themselves in contention. But the Twins are dangling their longtime mascot, TC Bear, and apparently are feeling pressure to make a deal as soon as possible. Sources close to the situation say that the club is concerned about their mascot’s performance this season, and they feel that the need for a new face is more pressing than any on-field changes. While TC has still shown flashes of above-average mascotry at various points throughout the season, he also had to go through a demotion to the minor leagues after a brutally slow start to his 2024 campaign. “Look, TC has been a standout member of the Twins organization for years, and nothing is going to take away from that,” said Derek Falvey, as he finished cranking open a massive bear trap near Gate 34, placing a hot dog inside the razor-sharp mouth of the rusted contraption. “But the reality is, he doesn’t have the same hands as he used to, and it has affected his performance. And I’m not talking about his fielding ability. Like, he literally has different hands, and they are very off-putting.” It should be noted that TC went through bear-bitration for the final time last winter, making this the club’s last chance to get any return via trade. The possibility remains that the team could choose to wait and tender him the qualifying offer over the offseason, but critics will be quick to point out that he hasn’t presented that much value in years. “I’ve been saying for years that the Twins would be better off without that monster patrolling their beautiful stadium,” said Twins Daily’s mascot evaluator Greggory Masterson, through the steel-corded telephone of his prison visitation room. “TC just isn’t what he used to be. He’s not silly. He sure as hell ain’t willy-nilly. Now he’s just an old bear, and he sickens me.” TC’s emergence as a trade candidate isn’t shocking, but the urgency with which the club has decided to sell him off has come seemingly out of nowhere. And it came at the surprise of the bear himself. “So I guess this is how a 24-year partnership circles the drain,” said TC Bear. “Last week, I was telling my [friend] Crunch about how they were going to offer me a long-term deal. Next thing I know, they’re saying my Mascot Savant page is weak, and that they have a problem with my ‘personal hygiene’ – whatever that means.” The last complaint has become such an issue that Twins players have requested that TC shoot free T-shirts off of the visitor’s dugout going forward, on account of the unbearable stench. The heavy, lead-lined suit has very little ventilation, and is now caked with 24 years of sweat--except in the hands, of course. While he isn’t a biohazard yet, speculation continues to swirl that TC is approaching maximal toxicity, both in terms of his physical presence and his penchant for workplace drama. “He’s the worst thing I’ve ever smelt, and I shared a TV booth with Bert Blyleven for more than two decades,” said longtime play-by-play announcer Dick Bremer. “I’m gagging just thinking about it.” It remains to be seen what the Twins could ultimately land in return when it comes to a mascot swap, but time appears to be of the essence. Sources around the league have confirmed to Twins Daily that Falvey sent out a fervent email to every general manager with the subject line ‘I need him gone. Now.’ Many speculated that this was going to be a bounty placed on the head of Masterson, but we have since confirmed it is in regard to the fuzziest, fan-friendliest bear in the league. If TC is indeed moved, the Twins could look to replace him internally by promoting OzemPig of the St. Paul Saints, but they would have to wait for her to complete her latest round of court-mandated community service. View full article

Twins Daily has placed Sweet Lou Hennessy on the 15-Day IL (Tongue).

We know how good Max Kepler can be when everything is going right health-wise. But can he climb out of his current injury pit with just one arm? Image courtesy of Purple Wolf Graphics In a stunning development in recent days, Max Kepler revealed to his manager Rocco Baldelli that he has a little nagging pain in his left arm, mostly due to the fact that it was torn smooth off his torso over the weekend. But even more stunning, though not exactly surprising given the subject of the story, Kepler insists that he'll be back in game form come the weekend series in Seattle. “Yeah, it hurts, but I'm not sure I'm ready to call it an actual injury yet,” said the 30-year-old right fielder. “Just give me like two or three more days and I promise I'll be back and better than ever.” Kepler has been out of action since last Thursday when he felt neck stiffness while in the on deck circle before his first inning at-bat. He would then go on to attempt a bunt with two outs, and he'd eventually slide headfirst into the first base bag - unsuccessfully and without shame. It was a questionable series of decisions from Kepler, but it was par for the course given his line of thinking in recent years when pushed to the decision point of losing playing time, or playing through the pain. “I appreciate the dog in him that wants to stay in the fight, I really do,” said a member of the Twins’ training staff. “But dude - you're not a lizard. That thing ain't growing back by Friday.” Kepler was seen in the Twins’ weight room early this morning spreading what appeared to be chia seeds on the stump which once held his left arm. He then went into the batting cage and took a round of one-armed batting practice. “Look, I felt good coming out of the cage today. Still definitely have some things I'm trying to figure out - mostly the arm thing,” said Kepler as he periodically checked to see if the chia concoction was working yet. “It's mostly a matter of pain tolerance, and how hard can that be? Right Buck?” He looks over at Byron Buxton, who gives an agreeing nod as he lays down for his daily six-hour pregame iron lung treatment. As far as a potential roster move is concerned, the Twins’ stalwart slugger has avoided injury stints in the past by sweet-talking his manager. It's still to be determined if that persuasion will work this time around. “I'm pretty torn on what we should do with him,” said Baldelli. “On one hand, he's one of the leaders in this team as we head into a crucial stretch before the All Star break. On the other hand - well, there is no other hand, because it's on the arm that got yanked off.” If the team does decide to put Kepler on the injured list, a resurgent Matt Wallner could take his place quite seamlessly in the interim. But the club passed up on promoting him just last week when Alex Kirilloff went on the injured list. Now the Twins just have to decide if now is the right time to give Wallner another shot or take Kepler at his word that he'll be game-ready in short order. “Whatever they decide, I understand. But I really think I'll be able to help the team really soon,” said an eternally hopeful Kepler. “And the good news is my neck is feeling better than ever.” View full article

The Twins are surging their way into the buyer’s market come the Jul. 31 trade deadline, and they may need some backups for their relief corps. Here are a few names to keep an eye on over the next six weeks, who could fill that role from the left side. Image courtesy of © Kim Klement Neitzel-USA TODAY Sports The Twins have a deep roster, with stars supported by capable role players, as well as minor-league reinforcements in virtually every segment of the team. That holds especially true when it comes to their bullpen picture. Stars such as Jhoan Durán and Griffin Jax are the headliners of that group, but a class of veterans and young streamers from Triple-A have also contributed to the overall success of the group. So while they may not be desperate to acquire more arms for the low-leverage class of their bullpen, another higher-leverage arm would be ideal, especially if they’re left-handed. Steven Okert has provided some solid value as the de facto top southpaw, with a 3.27 ERA across 25 appearances this year. But Caleb Thielbar has struggled mightily (8.04 ERA across 23 appearances), and has been removed from high-leverage spots late in games. The team needs a lefty that they can pair with Okert, to use in high-leverage situations late in ballgames. Here are some southpaws who could be enticing for Twins’ decision-makers. Matt Moore If Moore’s name is familiar, that’s because he’s made some version of this list in each of the last three years. He’s a veteran lefty, who has experience getting outs in big situations for contending teams. Plus, he currently finds himself on the Los Angeles Angels, who will almost certainly be shopping their veterans on expiring contracts come late July. While Moore isn’t having the same success that he had in the last few years, he still constitutes an upgrade over Thielbar when it comes to the war of late-30s lefty relievers. The 35-year-old has a 4.88 ERA across 30 appearances for the Halos, but that's inflated by a disastrous appearance on May 13 wherein he allowed four earned runs while getting just one out. Since then, he has a rock-solid 2.84 ERA in 14 appearances. If the Twins still like his ability to induce weak contact, as well as his lethal four-seam fastball and knuckle-curve combo, he could be had for a pretty reasonable return given his age and the roughly $5 million left on his contract for the remainder of this year. Garrett Cleavinger If the Twins were looking for a reliable lefty to add to their bullpen, they could just look into the visitor’s bullpen this week--and twice, out to the game mound. Cleavinger has quietly been a force for the Tampa Bay Rays for the last four years, pitching to a combined 3.39 ERA in that time with a strong 29.5% strikeout rate, albeit with a worrisome 12% walk rate. The Twins could be interested in him based on his ability to get strikeouts, as well as induce soft contact, but they would probably want to simplify a repertoire that currently includes a four-seam fastball, cutter, slider and sweeper. But even if they don’t do much retooling with him, Cleavinger would bring a solid veteran presence to the role, and he has three years of club control following the 2024 campaign. It’s rare that the Rays find themselves in the seller’s pool at the trade deadline, but it’s trending that way as of right now, and they may jump at the opportunity to finally replenish some prospect depth. It can be scary trading with Tampa Bay, as they almost always come out ahead when all is said and done, but the Twins have gotten them before (hello, Joe Ryan), so maybe they go back to the well this time. TJ McFarland After getting run out of Target Field with their tail between their legs, the Oakland Athletics are almost certainly bound for another sell-off (alas, not the kind many were hoping to see from their ownership). One of their biggest assets come the trade deadline will be 35-year-old McFarland, a veteran of eight major-league seasons. The veteran southpaw is having a strong campaign, even if it lacks the strikeout firepower that you’d hope to see from a late-inning reliever. McFarland has a 3.54 ERA across 35 games, and he’s elite when it comes to average exit velocity (98th percentile), Barrel percentage (99th percentile) and ground-ball rate (99th percentile). He has achieved this through pairing a strong sinker with a relatively new sweeper that has only allowed three extra-base hits this year, and they were all doubles. McFarland is a true rental, as he is set to hit free agency after this season, so it shouldn’t cost the Twins an arm and a leg to acquire his services, especially given the fact that the A’s are not in a rush to return to contention anytime soon. BONUS: Taylor Rogers You will NEVER break the chain. This one would get many people excited, as Minnesotans love a good ol’ fashioned reunion with a former star. However, there are some major factors that could make this a tough fit. Rogers is owed roughly $5.5 million for the remainder of this season, then $11 million for 2025, which would be his age-34 campaign. We haven’t seen this front office show much interest in terms of investing heavily in their bullpen group, and the Giants are still middle-of-the-pack when it comes to their aspirations to contend this year. But they play in a tough division and are currently four games below .500, so it wouldn’t be a shock to see them decide to sell a few pieces if they continue to fall. And to his credit, Rogers is having another strong year, on the heels of a solid 2023 campaign. He currently has a 2.22 ERA across 30 games, and he still boasts the sweeper-sinker combo that made him a late-inning stalwart for the Twins from 2016-2021. He would be an immediate improvement over any of the southpaws in the current bullpen. It’s hard to gauge how much the Twins would have to give up to secure his services. It would almost certainly have to include moving other contracts off the books, or asking the Giants to absorb some salary in the move, either of which would increase the overall transaction cost. But if the stars align (they won’t), a reunion with the former closer could be a really interesting development for the Twins. What do you think? Do any of these southpaws stand out to you as potential trade targets? Who else should be on this list? Let us know what you think in the comment section, and as always, keep it sweet. View full article

The Twins may have just dropped their series against the Pirates, but can they pick up any of Pittsburgh’s roster treasures come July’s trade deadline? Image courtesy of © Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports The Twins may be catching the Pittsburgh Pirates at a tricky time, both in terms of playing them on the field, and with considering their roster as a target for pillaging. The Bucs have been sellers at many of the recent trade deadlines, and they haven’t made the postseason since 2015. But this year feels like a possible turning point for their historic franchise. While they still find themselves at the cellar of the NL East, their current trajectory is certainly pointed in the right direction. They have emerging stars in their lineup in the form of shortstop Oneil Cruz and Ke’Bryan Hayes that pair well with veteran regulars such as Andrew McCutchen and Bryan Reynolds, and their young rotation has become the envy of baseball, led by two standout rookies in Paul Skenes and Jared Jones. It’s hard to imagine the Twins and Pirates matching up for a swap of any of the aforementioned players, but their roster still presents some options that are at least intriguing to say the least. The Hitters With Cruz, Hayes and Reynolds almost certainly staying put as building blocks going forward, and McCutchen likely staying in Pittsburgh for a swan song to his illustrious career, there aren’t many clean fits that could be clear upgrades for the Twins’ lineup, or at least in positions of need. The Twins’ wish list in a trade acquisition for a hitter would likely center around a right-handed outfielder with a good bat that presents a clear upgrade over a suddenly-hot Manuel Margot, a left-handed hitter who can play first and/or second base and a catcher that can either hit left-handed or is just a clear upgrade over Christian Vazquez. Let’s start in the outfield. The Pirates have a few intriguing guys that could possibly be of interest to the Twins. Connor Joe has been a speculative target for the Twins since the 2022-2023 offseason, and is currently having one of his better all-around campaigns. The 31-year-old right-handed slugger sports a .263/.338/.440 clip (120 wRC+) and can play either corner outfield spot, plus first base in a pinch. The most appealing aspect of Joe’s game would be his solid numbers against southpaw pitching (.856 OPS, 138 wRC+) and the three-plus years of club control via arbitration. If we would’ve looked at the Pirates’ roster a few weeks ago, old friend Michael A. Taylor may have been a reasonable name to target for a low-wattage move, especially if the Twins were confident they could get his bat back to its lefty-mashing ways from last season. But now that Margot has improved drastically, his slightly above-average .708 OPS against southpaws is considerably higher than Taylor’s .583 OPS this season. Might be best to leave that one on the table. As far as a target at the catcher position is concerned, Joey Bart caught my eye before he went on the injured list with thumb discomfort a few weeks ago. Upon joining the Pirates after being designated for assignment by the San Francisco Giants, the former top prospect lit it up at the plate to the tune of a .267/.362/.517 (149 wRC+) clip. He’s most likely going to be blocked by former number one overall pick Henry Davis going forward, though Davis himself is off to a slow start this year. Had Bart remained healthy, and if the Pirates were willing to dangle him in a trade, the Twins would’ve had to give up a decent but not elite return package to secure his services. After all, the catching position is pretty bleak league-wide aside from a few stars at the top, and Bart is under club control through the 2027 season. He could theoretically still be a target for the Twins, but it’s not as clean of a fit as it probably needs to be to get across the finish line. The Pitchers Skenes or Jones are as untouchable as any pitchers can be in today’s game, but there are a few other arms that could make sense for the Twins. I would’ve loved to put Mitch Keller (3.16 ERA across 13 starts this year) on this list, but he recently signed a five-year contract extension to stay in Pittsburgh, very similar to that of Pablo Lopez. It’s likely that the Twins would have more interest in acquiring a player in this mold before they sign an extension. The most-realistic trade targets on the Pirates’ roster are all housed in their bullpen. Some of their lower-leverage arms such as Justin Bruihl and Carmen Mlodzinski could make some sense if the Twins are willing to work some of their mechanical tweak magic. Bruihl (4.09 ERA across parts of four MLB seasons) is a 26-year-old lefty with an interesting sweeper, despite low velocity on his sinker. He’s under club control for four more years after the 2024 season, so he may need to be part of a bigger package to make a trade work. Mlodzinski is a former first-round pick of the Pirates from 2020, and while he doesn’t appear to be tracking toward his ceiling that was set when they drafted him, he could still have some upside in a relief role. Since becoming a full-time reliever in 2023, the 25-year-old has a 3.17 ERA across 48 ⅓ innings pitched, and is still a work in progress when it comes to refining his repertoire. He’s still working with a five-pitch mix, but three of his offerings are marginal at best. The Twins could look for him to focus on his fastball and gyro-slider, which has been his best breaking ball offering so far. They’ve done it before with former starters as they transition to a bullpen role, and they’ll surely do it again with someone like Mlodzinski at some point. Pittsburgh’s closer David Bednar is another name I’d keep an eye on. He would cost a pretty penny, especially given the fact that he’s a native son of Pittsburgh. His season started with a handful of blown saves (though he has seemed to straighten out in the last month), making the trade possibility even trickier, as they would be selling him at a relatively low-point of his career. But what if the Twins offered the Pirates another Yinzer as part of the return package? Could Alex Kirilloff (plus an actual centerpiece or two) entice Pittsburgh’s front office into considering a trade for their native son? It’s hard to say, but there’s plenty to like when looking at Bednar as another late-game option to pair with Jhoan Duran and Griffin Jax. What do you think? Are there any realistic targets on the Pirate’s roster that the Twins should consider targeting in a trade? Let us know what you think in the comments, and as always, keep it sweet. View full article

I used to love the show Life With Louie.

According to sources, the intern responsible for designing the new threads spaced on the need for trousers. Image courtesy of © Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports Realization set in quickly for the Twins as they prepared to unveil their highly-anticipated City Connect uniforms on Monday morning. While the jerseys themselves were well-designed with a unique color scheme tying to a quintessential aspect of Minnesota, the club’s marketing department discovered a problematic oversight. The new uniforms didn’t include pants, and per Rule 1148.A of the contract signed between the league, players union, the distributors of MLB licensed uniforms material, and for some reason the Catholic Church, the club is not allowed to take the field with any pants from their other uniforms while donning the new alternate jerseys. That is, of course, unless the club is willing to pay a modest fine for their discrepancy. With that consequence in mind, the club’s ownership decided to accept their pantsless new uniform going forward. “Look, it’s not ideal for our guys to go out there in their skivvies, but rules are rules,” said a team spokesperson. “People can’t expect us to throw money at every problem we come across. Sometimes you have to just live with some conditions that aren’t ideal.” The reason for the missing pants in the uniform design stems from a newly-hired intern who was tasked with submitting the blueprints last month. According to sources, he was late for his shift that day, saying he had car trouble. Yet as he made his way to his cubicle upon arriving, he was seen with a large iced coffee and donut crumbs cascading down his shirt. Then, as is the case most days, he took an extra-long lunch hour. “I’m not saying it’s all the kid’s fault, but he is an absolute space cadet,” said a member of the Twins’ marketing team. “Last week he asked me how to spell the word ‘drawing’ and then he put his air pods in and walked away as I answered.” Seemingly, there is already a failsafe set in place by the distributors in case any errors like this occur. They are to immediately call the contact person with the team to explain the discrepancy and make alternate plans. Apparently they tried calling the Twins’ intern time after time, but he refused to answer his phone because it was an unknown number, the sight of which caused him to spiral with anxiety. “What, like I’m just going to answer a call on my phone? What am I, a psychopath?” he said when pressed on the situation. “I’ll tell you what I tell my mother – if you need something from me, hit me up on TikTok or just do it yourself.” So the club will take the field on Friday just as their blueprints dictated - without anything covering the lower half. Okay, they won’t go full commando, as players will still wear plenty of compression layers and protective gear that will cover their shame. But this situation makes it clear just how far ownership is willing to go in an effort to avoid paying more out of pocket. Sure, they’d love to shake the reputation of being cheap, and they’ll argue factors outside of their control are what’s prohibitive. But like their new uniforms, that argument just doesn’t have legs. View full article

There are plenty of reasons to be disappointed by the Twins’ decision to option Edouard Julien to Triple-A, but keep in mind that there are a handful of silver linings that make the transaction a little easier to swallow. The Twins are still carving out a spot for second baseman Edouard Julien in their long-term plans, but the young slugger will have to take some lumps in the minor leagues for the time being. With superstar third baseman Royce Lewis being activated from the injured list after a two-month recovery from a quad strain that he suffered on Opening Day, Julien ended up being the odd man out on the club’s 26-man roster. It’s a disappointing development for the 25-year-old Quebecois, but his last month of underwhelming play helped necessitate a move. Since May 1st, Julien has hit .147/.282/.200 with just one extra-base hit and a brutal 36.2% strikeout rate. He follows the unfortunate footsteps of a few other rookies from last year that were also optioned to Triple-A after rough starts to their 2024 campaign. Matt Wallner and Louie Varland (both of Twins Daily Winter Meltdown fame) were each in a similar position about a month ago, and their demotions ended up really benefiting the big league club since then. Of course, the best version of this Twins team would include all three of these players being on the big league roster and contributing at the high level that each displayed in the second half of last season. But there can still be positive ripples that come out of disappointing developments. With that said, here are a few silver linings that can come out of the decision to send Julien on the green line to St. Paul. Royce is a Difference-Maker It would be one thing if Julien was yielding a roster spot and playing time to a marginal player that is coming back from a prolonged injury. If it were Kyle Farmer coming back from a strained quad and the team still decided Julien was the player that needed to be sent down, more outrage would be well-warranted. But Lewis was counted on to be the heart of the lineup, and frankly, the clubhouse for years to come, and his outlook hasn’t lost that shine despite his lengthy absence. Through his first 71 games of action in the major leagues, the young face of the franchise has impressed mightily to the tune of a .313/.369/.564 clip, with 18 home runs and 58 RBI. In his admittedly small sample size, he’s done nothing but thrive at the game’s highest level, and it doesn’t appear to be a mirage. Getting Lewis back in the fold will be worthwhile, even if it comes at the immediate expense of Julien as his offensive numbers continue to tumble. The Post-Hype Prospects Continue To Hit As Lewis began his rehab assignment a couple weeks ago, many started to speculate what the corresponding roster move would be upon his official return. The go-to answer was the safe assumption that these questions usually answer themselves with yet another injury elsewhere on the roster. But this time, the Twins had to make an imperfect move to address the rare problem of having a roster that’s just too damn healthy (*furiously knocks on wood*). The Twins have shown a hesitancy to pull the plug on struggling veterans in the past, so an early-season designation for the likes of someone like Manuel Margot or Farmer in this instance never felt realistic, as underwhelming as their play has been so far in 2024. That left a small handful of names under team control as potential demotions. Along with Julien, this included former top prospects Alex Kirilloff, Trevor Larnach and Jose Miranda. But each of those three have been hitting the snot out of the ball over the last few weeks. Since May 20th, Kirilloff and Larnach each have an OPS nearing 1.000 and Jose Miranda has an impressive .832 OPS himself while providing huge results in clutch situations time after time. In that timeframe, the 25-year-old hit an otherworldly .409/.417/.909 in medium and high-leverage situations, with three home runs and nine runs batted in. In short, it stinks when an exciting young player gets demoted after the only significant month-long slump in their entire career. But it’s easier to swallow when three other young players are stepping up like we’ve seen in recent weeks. Julien Could Be Back Up Shortly Even after Julien’s brutal month of May, he still grades out as above-average player on the year thanks to his hot stretch in April, and his surprisingly solid defense all season long. No question, he’ll have some things to work on in Triple-A, namely his ability to drive off-speed and breaking balls while maintaining his elite passivity toward chasing out of the zone. But there’s a sense that his demotion is different from someone like Wallner or Varland, who never got on track from the get-go. It’s reasonable to expect that Julien goes down and mashes for a few weeks, forcing the Twins’ hand into a harder decision with some of their underperforming veterans, which seems to be what many critics of this move seem to be craving at this moment rather than kicking the can down the road. It’s also reasonable to expect Julien to be the first name called if there’s an injury to the major league roster, especially if he’s replacing a fellow left-handed hitter (Austin Martin would likely be the replacement for Byron Buxton or Margot only). Because Julien’s demotion had more to do with the other names that are on the Twins roster rather than his own need for a harder reset, he’s more likely to be available for a swift return to the MLB roster. What do you think? Do these silver linings to Julien’s demotion make up for the disappointment of sending him down? Where do you think he fits into the team’s long-term plans? Let us know your thoughts in the comments, and as always, keep it sweet. View full article

Perfect episode? That's what the streets are sayin'.

The Twins’ second baseman was looking for a reset after a recent cold stretch, but not like this. Now he and the team have a new set of problems to figure “oot” as they return to American soil. Image courtesy of Purple Wolf Graphics O Canada! Here we go again. As the Twins completed a series win over the Toronto Blue Jays on Sunday afternoon, something started to change within second baseman Edouard Julien. Teammates started to notice his infield chatter getting more and more - how you say? - French-Canadian with each passing moment. “Something is definitely up with Ed. He’s acting weirder than normal, and that’s saying something,” said infielder Kyle Farmer with concern in his voice. “We got the last out on Sunday and he shouted ‘sacre bleu!’ and got on his knee like he was doing a hockey goal celebration.” As the team completed their postgame high-fives and moved the party to the clubhouse, Julien changed from his game-torn baseball uniform to a full Red Serge and Stetson hat as if he were about to go on patrol as a Canadian Mountie. The Quebecois then went to the clubhouse kitchenette and poured an entire bottle of maple syrup into his Tim Horton’s coffee cup, saluted the Canadian flag and promptly left without so much as bidding his teammates adieu. “Look, he’s a quirky guy, but this is taking things to a whole new level, “ said manager Rocco Baldelli with the exhaustion of an abashed parent. “When we got back to the Twin Cities, we all went out to eat at Fogo de Chao and he tried to order poutine. Have some shame, man!” Over the last few years, Julien has taken on the role of lovable little brother in the Twins’ clubhouse, mostly due to his good-hearted yet goofy demeanor. It has come with a fair share of ribbing, but he’s mostly taken it in stride. But how will his teammates respond now that he’s reverted to his original factory settings that have him spouting Canadian buzzwords and blasting Bryan Adams over the stadium speakers during every round of batting practice? “I’m pretty sure he called me a hoser the other day,” said a flabbergasted Byron Buxton. “And even worse - he keeps insisting Drake won when it came to his beef with Kendrick Lamar. That ain’t right, man. Ed’s not like us anymore.” According to a team spokesperson, the training staff is already working on strategies to help restore the Americanized data that was lost during the Toronto road trip. But if the club is forced to start from scratch, they’ll have extreme measures at their disposal. This would include having Julien spend a few hours in one of their cold tubs filled with Bud Light, while simultaneously watching reruns of King of the Hill and gorging on cheese fries. “I really do not want it to come down to that, but I need to get back to where I was before I made the trip to the true North,” Julien said backhandedly through an interpreter. “And what do you mean we have a game on Victoria Day?!?” As long as Julien keeps producing on the field with his red-hot ball club, the team may just have to put up with the shenanigans for the time being. Even if it’s to the chagrin of his manager. “If he keeps hitting like he did last season, I don’t care if he goes up to bat wearing hockey skates and an ‘I Love Trudeau’ shirt,” said a defeated Baldelli. “Congrats, Canada. Looks like you have one more canuckle-head standing on guard for thee.” View full article