Lou Hennessy

The top prospect just made his debut at Triple-A St. Paul, but he’s knocking on the door to the big leagues. How realistic would a September promotion be for the team's latest phenom? Image courtesy of Rob Thompson / St. Paul Saints While the Twins will surely be cautious with Emmanuel Rodriguez (ranked No. 3 in the latest Twins Daily Prospect Ranking), teams are often forced to get creative if they want to catch lightning in a bottle before the postseason. So is it realistic for fans across Twins Territory to dream of a scenario where the slugging outfielder makes his MLB debut with the club this month? It will probably depend on two major factors - Rodriguez’s performance on the field and the availability of a spot on the now-28-man roster. While there isn’t much time remaining for him to to turn heads in St. Paul (16 games, to be exact), it only takes one big push to prove you’re the top dog in the upper level of the minor leagues. If he can showcase his fantastic eye at the plate (25.1% walk rate in 37 games at Double-A this season) while boasting his patented plus power (.621 slugging percentage) and speed (nine stolen bases), he’ll be awfully enticing for a Twins lineup that is seemingly running on fumes. For what it’s worth, the team isn’t in urgent need of a left-handed outfielder--at least, not exactly, and not yet. Trevor Larnach and Matt Wallner are both swinging strong bats at the moment, and are middle-of-the-order hitters against opposing righties. Max Kepler is still seeing regular playing time, but he’s been dealing with a sore knee for a few weeks now, and his performance hasn’t been particularly impressive (.246/.287/.352 clip in the second half, 81 wRC+). And after being a late-scratch to Tuesday night’s starting lineup in Tampa Bay, questions continue to swirl regarding the right fielder’s health and effectiveness down the stretch. Should the Twins decide to put Kepler on the shelf, the easy answer would be to activate center fielder Byron Buxton, who will likely return for the Kansas City series, either way. But beyond that, you could make the case that Rodriguez presents the best opportunity for an upgrade in the outfield. Not only has he had a fantastic season when healthy, but he plays a competent center field (which could be huge, given the murky nature of Buxton’s health status) and he is already on the 40-man roster, meaning the Twins wouldn’t have to risk losing a player who would need to come off the roster in his place. So what could Rodriguez provide for this year’s Twins team? Why would they even consider promoting a 21-year-old who only has 38 games above High-A? If Kepler were to go on the injured list, and the Twins wanted to increase their thump from the left side of the plate, Rodriguez would slide in rather perfectly to an outfield that had Larnach in left, Wallner in right, with Brooks Lee and Willi Castro playing up the middle on the dirt. Buxton will likely need days off, or at least days as the designated hitter. Just imagine this batting order against a right-handed opponent, and how well each of these players has done in those scenarios so far in 2024: Castro - SS (117 wRC+) Larnach - LF (127) Wallner - RF (170) Lewis - 3B (142) Buxton - CF/DH (142) Carlos Santana - 1B (94) Ryan Jeffers - C (110) Lee - 2B (80) Rodriguez - CF/DH That’s a pretty fearsome lineup, and one that still provides a ton of positional versatility and impactful pinch-hit opportunities. And for a team that had an inconsistent stream of run support in August, and continues to lack clarity regarding the return of their star shortstop, Rodriguez could provide a jolt that other players on the fringe of the roster simply can’t at this time. A Rodriguez promotion would likely mean one of Austin Martin or Michael Helman gets optioned--which wouldn’t be the end of the world, as neither are providing a ton of value at the moment, nor are they at risk of being claimed by another team. Each has options remaining, so they could be shuttled back to St. Paul without being exposed to waivers. Is it likely that Rodriguez plays his way into an opportunity with the big league club in September and hopefully into the playoffs? Probably not. It's more probable that both he and the team want to avail themselves of this chance to get regular playing time at Triple-A, after an injury-disrupted season. However, there is a version of reality where it could make the most sense to challenge him and roll the dice for the huge potential return of a late-season MLB debut. For now, the outfield prodigy can continue to acclimate himself to Triple-A, and wait for an opportunity to be their lightning in a bottle. What do you think? Would you like to see Rodriguez get a chance with the big league club before the end of the season? Or should the Twins let him simmer in Triple-A for the remainder of the year? Let us know what you think in the comment section, and as always stay sweet. View full article

After visiting the Minnesota State Fair last week, the Twins’ relief ace is feeling anything but sweet. Image courtesy of © Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports For a team riddled with injuries and ailments to multiple star players, the last thing the Twins needed was a tummy ache. But Griffin Jax finds himself dragging due to what he is describing as “severe cookie gut” after ingesting far too many treats from Sweet Martha’s Cookie Jar at the Minnesota State Fair. “I’m ready to admit I have a problem,” said an ashamed and visibly uncomfortable Jax. “I thought I could stop, but the bucket keeps calling to me--like the Green Goblin mask in Spider-Man.” The good news is that Jax’s diagnosis does not appear to be terminal. However, the team is concerned with the sheer mass of cookies that Jax went through in the days following his visit. Members of the media witnessed at least a dozen cookie buckets pouring out of his locker in the Twins’ clubhouse after the club’s 2-0 win over the Toronto Blue Jays on Friday night. “It’s a good thing Griff only needed three pitches to get out of the inning, because I think he would’ve hurled if he had to stay out there,” said Twins’ manager Rocco Baldelli. “And I think I would’ve had to roll him out there like post-gum Violet Beauregarde if we needed him in the ninth.” The remedy for cookie gut can be complicated. Many claim that a glass of ice-cold milk can help break down some of the bloating, but others have experienced the exact opposite. For Jax, he’s expecting things to get worse before they get better. “I think the only way out is through, unfortunately,” said Jax, as he packed another stack of chocolatey goodness into his yap. “Am I supposed to just throw these away? I can’t do that to Martha, after all she’s done for me.” Baldelli and the coaching staff are hoping that Jax can return to form after he digests the last batch, as he has proven to be one of the premier relief arms in the game with a sterling 1.96 ERA across 59 ⅔ innings pitched. “We need him to stop eating so that he can get back to being the big dog in that bullpen,” said the mystified manager, as he checked the cookie buckets for scraps. “Or, the least he could do is share with the rest of us.” Jax was seen stretching his abdominal area, as well as both sides of his jaw before their game on Saturday night. It remains unclear if he’ll need a stint on the injured list to help him get over his backup. To be sure, that ERA is a touch more bloated, after he walked two and plunked one in a messy inning Sunday. Reportedly, team personnel had to talk him out of a change from his customary "X Gon' Give It to Ya" entrance to a rousing rendition of "C is for Cookie". Jax might still have had a (chocolate) chip on his shoulder. It would be a tough break for the young righty and the team if Jax has to miss any stretch of time. For a bullpen that has been leaking oil over the last few months, having to be without their best option might be too big of a bite for the Twins to swallow. But sometimes that’s just how the cookie crumbles. View full article

At least you haven't lost hope!

The Twins may need to get creative as they try to find suitable options in the middle of their relief corps. That may force them to look to the starting rotation for answers, as they trudge toward the postseason. Image courtesy of © Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports Is it possible that we've been looking in the wrong place for a solution to the team’s bullpen woes? The general expectation is that Louie Varland will be the knight in shining armor that emerges over the hillside to provide necessary reinforcement as the club pushes toward the postseason. If last season is any indication of what to expect, that could very well be the case. But the Twins have another arm that could provide a similar boost--only, he’s a little busy at the moment. Rookie David Festa is currently holding down a spot in the starting rotation, and he’s mostly held his own since his debut in late June. Many are counting on him, along with fellow rookies Zebby Matthews and Simeon Woods Richardson, to continue finding success in a starting role through the end of the year. But each of those three young arms is quickly approaching (or has already surpassed) reasonable expectations for increases to their respective workloads. And while they certainly appear to be the team’s best options to continue starting games in the near term, should they look into transitioning Festa to a relief role as the postseason approaches? It’s easy to shoot down the idea based on the rotation’s needs, and realistically, the Twins could very well feel the same way. However, Festa’s offerings are the building blocks that make a strong reliever, and after a few more starts in the coming weeks, it could behoove the Twins to seek a way to scale his workload back, while keeping him as a key contributor. Festa's three-pitch repertoire features a fastball that can touch upper-90s velocity, and two rock-solid secondary offerings that have underperformed at the MLB level thus far. Perhaps giving him shorter outings will allow for further success with his slider and changeup, since his opponents wouldn’t see them in multiple at-bats in a given game. That leads to the biggest talking point when discussing the effectiveness of a transition to the bullpen – his numbers the first time through the order. When getting their first taste of Festa in a game, opponents have been held to an anemic .342 OPS, while striking out 30.2% of the time. Somehow, those numbers appear to be improving as he gets more exposure to the league. They're testaments to his sheer nastiness. Just this month, Festa has struck out 39% of batters faced when going through the order the first time, which is tied for fifth-highest among all starters, according to Inside Edge. He has also allowed a paltry .147 slugging percentage in those instances this month, which is third-best in baseball. He’s racking up plenty of punchouts, and limiting damage when opponents do make contact. That’s an excellent starting point for this type of transition if the Twins decide to explore this route, even before getting any theoretical boost from being able to empty the tank in a shorter outing. Festa has also started to show increased effectiveness against left-handed hitters, which is a soft spot with the current crop of Twins’ relievers--given the fact that Caleb Thielbar is suddenly their lone lefty. Festa has struck out 37% (16/43) of lefties he’s faced this month, and they’ve only mustered a .621 OPS against him in that time frame. That’s more than passable as a medium-leverage arm, and it could be just what the bullpen needs as they head down the home stretch of the season. Of course, the question then becomes who will take Festa’s place in the starting rotation, and why wouldn’t they just keep him as a starter and move one of these other options to a relief role? Beyond Varland, the options that are sitting in the Triple-A rotation include Randy Dobnak and Andrew Morris. The team also added Caleb Boushley to the big-league roster Tuesday, giving them a stretched-out arm with plenty of starting experience. Dobnak has a career 6.82 ERA in 33 innings pitched as a reliever, and his stuff has been absolutely hammered to the tune of a .331/.364/.538 clip when opponents see him out of the pen. Boushley hasn’t inspired much hope since joining the organization, and he has a 4.97 ERA for the season with the Saints. Morris is an intriguing piece going forward, and he is yet another archetype in the Twins’ strategy of drafting starting pitchers in the middle and late rounds of the draft, then tweaking their mechanics to amplify their development. But it’s hard to imagine them pumping Morris through that development, then throwing him into a playoff bullpen when he started the season in High-A ball. Each of those three options might make more sense as spot starters at the big-league level, should Festa move to relief. At the end of the day, the Twins may decide that moving Festa (or any of the three rookie starters) to the bullpen would be more trouble than it’s worth. But there are a couple of glaring question marks in the relief corps, and the club should do whatever they can to address them before it’s too late. That may include looking to their encouraging rotation pieces for answers. View full article

As the team gears up for their playoff push, they’re hoping to fetch some depth from an unlikely source. A pack of candidates to potentially secure a last-minute bench spot on a contending team are polishing their collars and stretching their tails. A source with the Twins has confirmed that the club will hold an open tryout for any dog attending their newly-announced return of the fabled “Bark at the Park” night on September 24th. The team is said to have one final bench spot reserved for any pooch that can beat utility player Austin Martin in a foot race around the base paths. The challenger must also fit into Martin’s uniform specifications, as the team is unwilling to purchase a new jersey. “Yeah, I can’t say I love it,” a frustrated Martin said as he geared up for an extra round of conditioning, his fourth round of the day since learning of the planned spectacle. “I feel like I’ve done a good job, yet here comes Air Bud to swoop in and try to nab my roster spot right before the playoffs.” For what it’s worth, the team still really likes what they’ve seen from Martin, who hasn’t had a dazzling debut this season, but is still firmly in their plans going forward. This is seen as a way for the club to catch, er, fetch lightning in a bottle. “We’re a really good club and I have the utmost faith in the guys that we have in our dugout already,” said Derek Falvey as he finished installing a fire hydrant in the corner of the Twins’ clubhouse, which just so happened to be directly next to Martin’s locker. “We have a lot of good boys that deserve all the belly rubs in the world for the way they’ve played this year. But it’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t explore every route possible.” The contending hounds are set to complete a handful of tasks beyond the aforementioned foot race, such as establishing who can properly sit on a pitch, without rolling over and playing dead. They’ll check each player’s release point, and they’ll balance that with their tail-chase percentage and their woof rate. The first “Bark at the Park” promotion was a relative success when it came to getting tails in the seats in late-April, but this new level is going to take those same pups and get them in the game itself. Among the group of evaluators at the event will be Betsy Helfand of the Pioneer Press, whose preparation for this event rivals the training montage in Rocky VII: Adrian’s Revenge. “You know how long I’ve been waiting for this?” Helfand said, cracking her knuckles in a menacing fashion. “I’m ‘bout to make a name for myself here.” If a contender can successfully supplant Martin, the Twins will need to make a corresponding roster move, and they’ll have to negotiate a proper contract that could cost the club upwards of 10,000 milk bones, plus an undetermined amount of pup cups of whipped cream at various points of the final six weeks as bonus incentives. “I told our decision-makers that I wanted someone who could be a bulldog for us down the stretch, but I guess I would also accept a lab, terrier or some variety of shepherd if it helps us win games,” said manager Rocco Baldelli. “But no poodles.” View full article

The multi-talented sideline reporter and studio host impressed the team’s top brass with her rendition of God Bless America, and now they want to see what she can provide on the mound. The Twins are hoping to put their best foot forward against their first-place rivals this weekend, and in doing so, they are turning to the sideline. Sources within the clubhouse have all but confirmed that sideline reporter Audra Martin will make a start against the Cleveland Guardians, which will be her much-anticipated big league debut. But Martin is no stranger to the spotlight. Her incredible rendition of God Bless America at last Sunday’s series finale against the Chicago White Sox captivated the masses, and her voice added yet another feather to her multifaceted cap. “Is there anything Audra can’t do? She just continues to impress, day after day,” said Twins manager Rocco Baldelli after the game. “I’ll tell you what - I’d love to have a bulldog like her on our side this weekend when we take on those bubblahs from Cleveland.” Behind that quintessential Rhode Islander smack talk arose an idea. With Martin coming up with new talents on a regular basis, maybe she could be just what the Twins seek as they try to solidify the back end of their rotation. But the competition for that role has started to heat up. Rookie David Festa continues to impress after an underwhelming debut, fan-favorite Randy Dobnak recently earned a promotion to the big league pitching staff, and top-prospect Zebby Matthews is knocking on the door at Triple-A, along with a resurgent Louie Varland. But those arms simply can’t match up with Martin when it comes to one key factor – the will to win. “Audra? She’s got a fire that I’m not sure anyone in the league can match up with,” said outfielder Trevor Larnach as he pressed an ice pack to the back of his neck. “I was shooting hoops this morning and she came in, chugged an entire Red Bull, smashed the can against her forehead and then posterized me with a perfect windmill dunk. I think she was even wearing high heels.” That tenacity will come in handy this weekend when the Twins face arguably their biggest rival in a heated four-game AL Central showdown. With Minnesota trailing by just a handful of games, every matchup is going to count. But Martin seems up for the challenge. Reporters on scene this morning witnessed her grueling workout routine in the team gym, where Martin was maxing out the back press and throwing 101 MPH pull-downs between sets. Later in the day, she stopped to talk to local media members. “I just want to help the team however I can. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to make a breakthrough here,” she said as she turned back to her microscope, where she has been researching a cure for cancer. “It’s all in a day’s work.” When she’s not working the trenches as a well-respected sideline reporter, or slam dunking a basketball, or singing in front of a packed stadium, or curing cancer, Martin is known as a savant of the game who constantly absorbs new information. In fact, many players gravitate to her when they want tips on their own game. “Do you all remember when I learned my sweeper last year? Yeah, that was all Audra’s idea,” said staff ace Pablo López as he struggled to match the weight Martin had set on the back press machine. “Don’t get me wrong, our coaching staff does a fantastic job. But at the end of the day, there’s one voice in the room that pulls all the strings, and it was the one singing in front of 30,000 people before the seventh inning stretch on Sunday.” It’s not certain which game Martin will start this weekend, but it’s becoming clear that she is on track to make a name for herself, yet again, as an all-time trailblazer for the franchise. Soon her name could be mentioned with other Twins’ legends of yesteryear. First came Harmon. Then came Kirby. Now Twins Territory finds itself in the era of Audra. View full article

With MLB’s trade deadline just hours away, the Twins are hoping to secure any possible value from the core of journalists who cover the team on a daily basis. Decades-long trends in the news media industry suggest they'll fail. Image courtesy of © Joseph Scheller/Columbus Dispatch / USA TODAY NETWORK While many are hoping for the Twins to make a splash on the trade market before the 5 PM deadline Tuesday, the club might be content to merely shed some of the expense coming from their press box. While none of the beat writers are actually under contract with the team, it isn’t stopping the club’s decision-makers from trying like hell to send them to another organization. “At the end of the day, we’re going to do what’s right for our team,” said Twins President of Baseball Operations Derek Falvey. “And right now, nothing would make me happier than to clear some of the dead weight from the hounds that won’t stop bothering me every day.” A lot of questions have surfaced since rumors started swirling about the Twins calling other teams to gauge interest in names such as Dan Hayes of The Athletic, Phil Miller of the Star Tribune and Betsy Helfand of the St. Paul Pioneer Press. What do they hope to get in return? Who do they expect to replace them if they are indeed traded? What sort of hard liquor have they ingested that led them to this point? “Those are all valid questions and I can certainly understand the confusion,” Falvey said, as he submitted a post for a gently-used Bobby Nightengale on Facebook Marketplace. “But honestly, I’d take 50 cents on the dollar just to get them out of my sight.” There have been a few teams who have expressed lukewarm interest in a couple of the writers, but they have insisted that the Twins include more prospect capital if they hope to move any of the beleaguered, disheveled, washed-up scribes. “If we’re going to be saddled with Aaron Gleeman for the rest of the season, it’s going to take one of their top five prospects to sweeten the deal on our end,” said a source from an American League team who wished to remain nameless. “We like the chemistry we’ve created in our press box, and we don’t need him ruffling any feathers for nothing. We’re not going to make a trade just to make a trade – especially for some old coot with a bad hip.” Gleeman is one of the few writers in this group who actually has a no-move clause that would need to be waived to push a deal across the finish line. It’s not so much a matter of him feeling loyalty to his hometown club, or holding out for a contract extension, but rather he simply does not like to move. Among the writers who could potentially fetch a respectable return is Do-Hyoung Park, of MLB.com and Jeopardy! fame. “I actually really like Do and I think he’s well-regarded around the league,” Falvey admitted. “But I can’t pass up the opportunity to sit him down in my office and give him the clue ‘this Twins’ beat reporter just got traded to the Tampa Bay Rays for a used 1994 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme’ just to see the look on his know-it-all face.” Falvey and the Twins are going to have to move fast if they hope to sell low on these writers, and the prospect of trading them all away leads to one last line of questioning for the club’s chief: If they are all traded, who is going to report these deals across Twins Territory? Will Twins Daily be first in line to replace them? “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve heard their off-day podcast,” Falvey said adamantly. “I wouldn’t let those hacks anywhere near the press box. They can swim in my pool but they can’t come in the house.” Rude. Fair, but rude. View full article

I'm sorry if this rubbed you the wrong way! I'll check the schedule at the Cope Harder Foundation to see if they have any groups that can help anyone who is feeling slighted.

Longtime detractors of the Twins icon are licking their wounds as Mauer receives the game’s highest honor. Image courtesy of Brad Rempel, USA Today It was a beautiful day for Twins fans as baseball’s Hall of Fame prepared for the induction of Joe Mauer into its hallowed list of the game’s mightiest heroes. But not everyone celebrated as St. Paul’s native son made history. A support group for Mauer’s staunchest critics was created in December after it was announced that he surpassed the 75% vote threshold that is necessary for induction into Cooperstown, and now that group has seen its attendance grow tenfold as he officially receives the game’s highest honor. “Look, this is a field where it’s gauche to celebrate a record-high number of participants seeking help,” said Dr. Richard Rivers of the Cope Harder Foundation. “But honestly, these people are some of the most miserable that I’ve ever met in my 32 years in the field, so I’m happy we can give them a place to try and release the toxic thought process that has lived in their head for years.” The Cope Harder Foundation was started in 1992 by a group of mental health professionals who are keenly aware of the troubled nature of people who suffer from chronic pessimism. Their first group revolved around detractors who claimed the Twins had no shot of winning the pennant in 1991, but were proven woefully wrong after one of the most thrilling and satisfying championships in North American sports history. Now, the majority of the participants that attend daily meetings are going through an identity crisis after years of adamant proclamations that they know "ball better than anyone," and that Mauer should be in the “Hall of Very Good” rather than Cooperstown. “I just can’t get my head around the fact that voters thought this guy was one of the best players in the history of baseball,” said a befuddled client as they walked into CHF’s Highland Park campus. “How could Mauer get in but my guy Doug Mientkiewicz didn’t get a single vote? It just doesn’t add up.” The groups start by trying to focus on reasonable explanations for how Mauer earned his honor. From talking about his numerous awards and accolades, to his strong character and hometown hero storyline, logic points to the Twins icon being more than deserving of induction. But the people seeking support from CHF defy logic, and may not even be able to define it. “He wasn’t even a catcher for the last four years of his career! This is lunacy,” said another attendee as a small vein in his forehead started to protrude. “How hard can it be? I catch for my beer league softball team every other week, and you don’t hear me complaining.” Chronic pessimism has run rampant through Minnesota sports fandom for years. Experts say it’s a natural defense mechanism for emotionally immature losers that insist on spreading their pathetic gloom to those they see as happier and more well-rounded. So how can society alleviate themselves from the plight of these knuckle-dragging cynics? “This has been a busy weekend for us, and it makes our mission a lot harder if we’re the only ones calling out our clients’ pitiful behavior in the light of so much celebration,” said Dr. Rivers from the observation room adjacent to the meeting area. “What we recommend is everyone printing out a copy of Mauer’s Baseball Reference page and showing it to any detractors at their first sign of lashing out. That usually shuts them up pretty damn fast.” The Mauer-centered groups meet daily, just after the Packers Fan Living In Minnesota group gets out. For a list of future group openings, just consult Twitter after any regular season loss and follow the crowd of dimwits. View full article

It remains to be seen if the Twins will be buyers at the Jul. 30 trade deadline, but reports are coming out that they will sell one of their longtime veterans--by any means necessary. Image courtesy of © Bruce Kluckhohn-USA TODAY Sports The Twins are hoping this trade deadline will be a bear market--that is, a good market for shopping their bear. It’s not often that a franchise will explore the idea of trading someone who has been with their organization for 24 seasons, especially when they find themselves in contention. But the Twins are dangling their longtime mascot, TC Bear, and apparently are feeling pressure to make a deal as soon as possible. Sources close to the situation say that the club is concerned about their mascot’s performance this season, and they feel that the need for a new face is more pressing than any on-field changes. While TC has still shown flashes of above-average mascotry at various points throughout the season, he also had to go through a demotion to the minor leagues after a brutally slow start to his 2024 campaign. “Look, TC has been a standout member of the Twins organization for years, and nothing is going to take away from that,” said Derek Falvey, as he finished cranking open a massive bear trap near Gate 34, placing a hot dog inside the razor-sharp mouth of the rusted contraption. “But the reality is, he doesn’t have the same hands as he used to, and it has affected his performance. And I’m not talking about his fielding ability. Like, he literally has different hands, and they are very off-putting.” It should be noted that TC went through bear-bitration for the final time last winter, making this the club’s last chance to get any return via trade. The possibility remains that the team could choose to wait and tender him the qualifying offer over the offseason, but critics will be quick to point out that he hasn’t presented that much value in years. “I’ve been saying for years that the Twins would be better off without that monster patrolling their beautiful stadium,” said Twins Daily’s mascot evaluator Greggory Masterson, through the steel-corded telephone of his prison visitation room. “TC just isn’t what he used to be. He’s not silly. He sure as hell ain’t willy-nilly. Now he’s just an old bear, and he sickens me.” TC’s emergence as a trade candidate isn’t shocking, but the urgency with which the club has decided to sell him off has come seemingly out of nowhere. And it came at the surprise of the bear himself. “So I guess this is how a 24-year partnership circles the drain,” said TC Bear. “Last week, I was telling my [friend] Crunch about how they were going to offer me a long-term deal. Next thing I know, they’re saying my Mascot Savant page is weak, and that they have a problem with my ‘personal hygiene’ – whatever that means.” The last complaint has become such an issue that Twins players have requested that TC shoot free T-shirts off of the visitor’s dugout going forward, on account of the unbearable stench. The heavy, lead-lined suit has very little ventilation, and is now caked with 24 years of sweat--except in the hands, of course. While he isn’t a biohazard yet, speculation continues to swirl that TC is approaching maximal toxicity, both in terms of his physical presence and his penchant for workplace drama. “He’s the worst thing I’ve ever smelt, and I shared a TV booth with Bert Blyleven for more than two decades,” said longtime play-by-play announcer Dick Bremer. “I’m gagging just thinking about it.” It remains to be seen what the Twins could ultimately land in return when it comes to a mascot swap, but time appears to be of the essence. Sources around the league have confirmed to Twins Daily that Falvey sent out a fervent email to every general manager with the subject line ‘I need him gone. Now.’ Many speculated that this was going to be a bounty placed on the head of Masterson, but we have since confirmed it is in regard to the fuzziest, fan-friendliest bear in the league. If TC is indeed moved, the Twins could look to replace him internally by promoting OzemPig of the St. Paul Saints, but they would have to wait for her to complete her latest round of court-mandated community service. View full article

Twins Daily has placed Sweet Lou Hennessy on the 15-Day IL (Tongue).

We know how good Max Kepler can be when everything is going right health-wise. But can he climb out of his current injury pit with just one arm? Image courtesy of Purple Wolf Graphics In a stunning development in recent days, Max Kepler revealed to his manager Rocco Baldelli that he has a little nagging pain in his left arm, mostly due to the fact that it was torn smooth off his torso over the weekend. But even more stunning, though not exactly surprising given the subject of the story, Kepler insists that he'll be back in game form come the weekend series in Seattle. “Yeah, it hurts, but I'm not sure I'm ready to call it an actual injury yet,” said the 30-year-old right fielder. “Just give me like two or three more days and I promise I'll be back and better than ever.” Kepler has been out of action since last Thursday when he felt neck stiffness while in the on deck circle before his first inning at-bat. He would then go on to attempt a bunt with two outs, and he'd eventually slide headfirst into the first base bag - unsuccessfully and without shame. It was a questionable series of decisions from Kepler, but it was par for the course given his line of thinking in recent years when pushed to the decision point of losing playing time, or playing through the pain. “I appreciate the dog in him that wants to stay in the fight, I really do,” said a member of the Twins’ training staff. “But dude - you're not a lizard. That thing ain't growing back by Friday.” Kepler was seen in the Twins’ weight room early this morning spreading what appeared to be chia seeds on the stump which once held his left arm. He then went into the batting cage and took a round of one-armed batting practice. “Look, I felt good coming out of the cage today. Still definitely have some things I'm trying to figure out - mostly the arm thing,” said Kepler as he periodically checked to see if the chia concoction was working yet. “It's mostly a matter of pain tolerance, and how hard can that be? Right Buck?” He looks over at Byron Buxton, who gives an agreeing nod as he lays down for his daily six-hour pregame iron lung treatment. As far as a potential roster move is concerned, the Twins’ stalwart slugger has avoided injury stints in the past by sweet-talking his manager. It's still to be determined if that persuasion will work this time around. “I'm pretty torn on what we should do with him,” said Baldelli. “On one hand, he's one of the leaders in this team as we head into a crucial stretch before the All Star break. On the other hand - well, there is no other hand, because it's on the arm that got yanked off.” If the team does decide to put Kepler on the injured list, a resurgent Matt Wallner could take his place quite seamlessly in the interim. But the club passed up on promoting him just last week when Alex Kirilloff went on the injured list. Now the Twins just have to decide if now is the right time to give Wallner another shot or take Kepler at his word that he'll be game-ready in short order. “Whatever they decide, I understand. But I really think I'll be able to help the team really soon,” said an eternally hopeful Kepler. “And the good news is my neck is feeling better than ever.” View full article

The Twins are surging their way into the buyer’s market come the Jul. 31 trade deadline, and they may need some backups for their relief corps. Here are a few names to keep an eye on over the next six weeks, who could fill that role from the left side. Image courtesy of © Kim Klement Neitzel-USA TODAY Sports The Twins have a deep roster, with stars supported by capable role players, as well as minor-league reinforcements in virtually every segment of the team. That holds especially true when it comes to their bullpen picture. Stars such as Jhoan Durán and Griffin Jax are the headliners of that group, but a class of veterans and young streamers from Triple-A have also contributed to the overall success of the group. So while they may not be desperate to acquire more arms for the low-leverage class of their bullpen, another higher-leverage arm would be ideal, especially if they’re left-handed. Steven Okert has provided some solid value as the de facto top southpaw, with a 3.27 ERA across 25 appearances this year. But Caleb Thielbar has struggled mightily (8.04 ERA across 23 appearances), and has been removed from high-leverage spots late in games. The team needs a lefty that they can pair with Okert, to use in high-leverage situations late in ballgames. Here are some southpaws who could be enticing for Twins’ decision-makers. Matt Moore If Moore’s name is familiar, that’s because he’s made some version of this list in each of the last three years. He’s a veteran lefty, who has experience getting outs in big situations for contending teams. Plus, he currently finds himself on the Los Angeles Angels, who will almost certainly be shopping their veterans on expiring contracts come late July. While Moore isn’t having the same success that he had in the last few years, he still constitutes an upgrade over Thielbar when it comes to the war of late-30s lefty relievers. The 35-year-old has a 4.88 ERA across 30 appearances for the Halos, but that's inflated by a disastrous appearance on May 13 wherein he allowed four earned runs while getting just one out. Since then, he has a rock-solid 2.84 ERA in 14 appearances. If the Twins still like his ability to induce weak contact, as well as his lethal four-seam fastball and knuckle-curve combo, he could be had for a pretty reasonable return given his age and the roughly $5 million left on his contract for the remainder of this year. Garrett Cleavinger If the Twins were looking for a reliable lefty to add to their bullpen, they could just look into the visitor’s bullpen this week--and twice, out to the game mound. Cleavinger has quietly been a force for the Tampa Bay Rays for the last four years, pitching to a combined 3.39 ERA in that time with a strong 29.5% strikeout rate, albeit with a worrisome 12% walk rate. The Twins could be interested in him based on his ability to get strikeouts, as well as induce soft contact, but they would probably want to simplify a repertoire that currently includes a four-seam fastball, cutter, slider and sweeper. But even if they don’t do much retooling with him, Cleavinger would bring a solid veteran presence to the role, and he has three years of club control following the 2024 campaign. It’s rare that the Rays find themselves in the seller’s pool at the trade deadline, but it’s trending that way as of right now, and they may jump at the opportunity to finally replenish some prospect depth. It can be scary trading with Tampa Bay, as they almost always come out ahead when all is said and done, but the Twins have gotten them before (hello, Joe Ryan), so maybe they go back to the well this time. TJ McFarland After getting run out of Target Field with their tail between their legs, the Oakland Athletics are almost certainly bound for another sell-off (alas, not the kind many were hoping to see from their ownership). One of their biggest assets come the trade deadline will be 35-year-old McFarland, a veteran of eight major-league seasons. The veteran southpaw is having a strong campaign, even if it lacks the strikeout firepower that you’d hope to see from a late-inning reliever. McFarland has a 3.54 ERA across 35 games, and he’s elite when it comes to average exit velocity (98th percentile), Barrel percentage (99th percentile) and ground-ball rate (99th percentile). He has achieved this through pairing a strong sinker with a relatively new sweeper that has only allowed three extra-base hits this year, and they were all doubles. McFarland is a true rental, as he is set to hit free agency after this season, so it shouldn’t cost the Twins an arm and a leg to acquire his services, especially given the fact that the A’s are not in a rush to return to contention anytime soon. BONUS: Taylor Rogers You will NEVER break the chain. This one would get many people excited, as Minnesotans love a good ol’ fashioned reunion with a former star. However, there are some major factors that could make this a tough fit. Rogers is owed roughly $5.5 million for the remainder of this season, then $11 million for 2025, which would be his age-34 campaign. We haven’t seen this front office show much interest in terms of investing heavily in their bullpen group, and the Giants are still middle-of-the-pack when it comes to their aspirations to contend this year. But they play in a tough division and are currently four games below .500, so it wouldn’t be a shock to see them decide to sell a few pieces if they continue to fall. And to his credit, Rogers is having another strong year, on the heels of a solid 2023 campaign. He currently has a 2.22 ERA across 30 games, and he still boasts the sweeper-sinker combo that made him a late-inning stalwart for the Twins from 2016-2021. He would be an immediate improvement over any of the southpaws in the current bullpen. It’s hard to gauge how much the Twins would have to give up to secure his services. It would almost certainly have to include moving other contracts off the books, or asking the Giants to absorb some salary in the move, either of which would increase the overall transaction cost. But if the stars align (they won’t), a reunion with the former closer could be a really interesting development for the Twins. What do you think? Do any of these southpaws stand out to you as potential trade targets? Who else should be on this list? Let us know what you think in the comment section, and as always, keep it sweet. View full article