Twins Prepping Audra Martin To Make Pivotal Start Against Guardians

The Twins are hoping to put their best foot forward against their first-place rivals this weekend, and in doing so, they are turning to the sideline. Sources within the clubhouse have all but confirmed that sideline reporter Audra Martin will make a start against the Cleveland Guardians, which will be her much-anticipated big-league debut.

But Martin is no stranger to the spotlight. Her incredible rendition of "God Bless America" at last Sunday’s series finale against the Chicago White Sox captivated the masses, and her voice added yet another feather to her multifaceted (well, at least multi-feathered) cap.

“Is there anything Audra can’t do? She just continues to impress, day after day,” said Twins manager Rocco Baldelli after the game. “I’ll tell you what - I’d love to have a bulldog like her on our side this weekend when we take on those bubblahs from Cleveland.”

Behind that quintessential Rhode Islander smack talk arose an idea. With Martin coming up with new talents on a regular basis, maybe she could be just what the Twins seek as they try to solidify the back end of their rotation.

The competition for that role has started to heat up. Rookie David Festa continues to impress after an underwhelming debut. Fan favorite Randy Dobnak recently earned a promotion to the big-league pitching staff, and top prospect Zebby Matthews is knocking on the door at Triple-A, along with a resurgent Louie Varland. 

But those arms simply can’t match up with Martin when it comes to one key factor: the will to win.

“Audra? She’s got a fire that I’m not sure anyone in the league can match up with,” said outfielder Trevor Larnach, as he pressed an ice pack to the back of his neck. “I was shooting hoops this morning and she came in, chugged an entire Red Bull, smashed the can against her forehead and then posterized me with a perfect windmill dunk. I think she was even wearing high heels.” 

That tenacity will come in handy this weekend, when the Twins face arguably their biggest rival in a heated four-game AL Central showdown. With Minnesota trailing by just a handful of games, every matchup is going to count.

Martin seems up for the challenge. Reporters on scene this morning witnessed her grueling workout routine in the team gym, where Martin was maxing out the back press and throwing 101 MPH pull-downs between sets. Later in the day, she stopped to talk to local media members. 

“I just want to help the team however I can. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to make a breakthrough here,” she said as she turned back to her microscope, where she has been researching a cure for cancer. “It’s all in a day’s work.”

When she’s not working the trenches as a well-respected sideline reporter, or slam dunking a basketball, or singing in front of a packed stadium, or curing cancer, Martin is known as a savant of the game who constantly absorbs new information. In fact, many players gravitate to her when they want tips on their own game. 

“Do you all remember when I learned my sweeper last year? Yeah, that was all Audra’s idea,” said staff ace Pablo López, as he struggled to match the weight Martin had set on the back press machine. “Don’t get me wrong, our coaching staff does a fantastic job. But at the end of the day, there’s one voice in the room that pulls all the strings, and it was the one singing in front of 30,000 people before the seventh inning stretch on Sunday.”

It’s not certain which game Martin will start this weekend, but it’s becoming clear that she is on track to make a name for herself, yet again, as an all-time trailblazer for the franchise. Soon her name could be mentioned with other Twins legends of yesteryear. 

First came Harmon. Then came Kirby. Now Twins Territory finds itself in the era of Audra.