Game Thread: Twins@Mariners 7/26 9:10PM

[Bark's Lounge]

Did I hear that right? Mauer isn't rejoining the team until Tuesday?

New Team Policy for Players: Mandatory Vasectomy.

[twinsnorth49]

Yeah, he's giving up a quarter-million dollars in game checks to hang with Maddie and the babbettes for a few extra days. He gets 3 days via MLB, but wants 3 more (missing 2 games). The paper says the Twins are supportive. I assume they mean the club rather than the kids.

 

What the hell!? In the middle of a pennant race!...............no...wait.

[Riverbrian]

Caption Contest #5

 

[Riverbrian]

Caption Contest #5

 

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Charlie I hate to say I told you so... But I said... It wouldn't support all those orange cones.

[twinsnorth49]

Caption Contest #5

 

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Hey Andy, what were you playing again, Titleist 4?

[Guest USAFChief]

Caption Contest #5

 

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Workers search for the Twins team batting average in July.

[Riverbrian]

Caption Contest #5

 

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Kirstie!!! Kirstie Alley!!! Are you OK down there?

[Bark's Lounge]

Caption Contest #5

 

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No signs of Arcia or Parmelee down there, but I do see Doug Bernier. Should we bring him up?

[big dog]

The Twins pitching staff tonight has not sucked even a little bit.

[Guest USAFChief]

Caption Contest #5

 

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"Hey, wouldja lookat dat. Dere's a late model Dodge Dart down dere."

 

"Huh, I think you're right. Looks like it's got a Twins bumper sticker and maybe 20 or so radio station stickers."

[buckninetyone]

I gotta ask- what's the cat doing?

 

might be on the spin cycle now

[snepp]

So, do we need moderatin' for the moderators?

 

Absolutely, they're a bunch of jackwagons.

[buckninetyone]

yoervis <-- what i'm not naming my kid

[Guest USAFChief]

Remember when Aaron Hicks was hitting over .200? Good times.

[Riverbrian]

Caption Contest #6

 

[big dog]

Chris Freaking Colabello!!!!!

[twinsnorth49]

Chief?

[snepp]

That one's for Chief.

[Riverbrian]

Caption Contest #6

 

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Ashbury... Umm... No... Haven't seen him.

[Ultima Ratio]

Here we come....again.

[Gibby]

Thank God! a productive out.

[Bark's Lounge]

That felt good.

[Guest USAFChief]

Caption Contest #6

 

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Teach my dog to walk on two legs? And grab purses from old ladies with it's mouth? Absolutely not, officer. I don't even own a dog."

[twinsnorth49]

Caption Contest #6

 

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"I'm sorry, I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, you'll have to ask the dog"

[buckninetyone]

Caption Contest #5

 

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hoffa ain't here either

[Bark's Lounge]

Caption Contest #6

 

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I have heard of George Orwell, but I have never read this book you call "Animal Farm".

 

Why do you ask?

[Guest USAFChief]

Chief?

It was a timely and necessary use of the reverse jinx.

 

Did you think I was serious?

[stringer bell]

I'm seeing over and over the folly of "productive outs". The odds are heavily against two guys advancing a runner by making outs and really limits the chance for a big inning. Seattle has failed a couple of times and the Twins have also failed a couple times. But, Smalley and Dick have this logic as gospel and will continue to preach it as such.

[Riverbrian]

It was a timely and necessary use of the reverse jinx.

 

Did you think I was serious?

 

Well played

[big dog]

I guess I picked the wrong game to quit sniffing glue.