Twins Video
1. Personal Trainer – A long time ago… we had Jack LaLanne as a personal trainer. You’d turn on his TV show and he would whip you into shape in black and white. Now personal trainers are growing on trees… master motivators who throw the medicine ball at you and count in loud voices as you do sit ups or something. I don’t personally need one because I get plenty of exercise… jumping at conclusions, pushing my luck and dodging deadlines.
2. Scientist – Back in 1907… Duncan McDougall, a doctor from Massachusetts, devised experiments to measure the human soul. Using 6 terminally ill patients on a specially constructed scale bed he measured their weight before, during, and after death, and he was able to conclude that the human soul weighed 21 grams. Despite the sloppy science and the obvious small sample size. There are some who still believe this a century later. I just want to say that I have confirmed it. The soul does indeed weigh 21 grams. I confirmed it by weighing myself before and after work.
3. Video Game Developer – You can get your video game related bachelors or masters on college campuses across the country. These video games don’t just happen by accident. It is someone’s job to design, develop, program, sell… and… umm… I don’t know… I’m just listing a bunch of words that I’m guessing are related to video game production. Someone in the course of doing their job came up with Dance Dance Revolution for example. I don’t personally know anyone who has played Dance Dance Revolution but it made money. A co-worker of mine had DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION written on her desk calendar in big letters so I assumed she was into it. Turns out that was her actual plan for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Just to be safe… I did not show up for work that Friday.
4. President of the United States – It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it. Personally… I want a President who is smart enough to not want the job but that doesn’t appear to be an option. I think the President should be dragged (or is it drugged) into the position kicking and screaming because they are smart enough to know it’s a horrible job. How about that… in my context… dragged and drugged into the position both accomplish what I think needs to be done.
5. Labor Day – This week you get to hate Tuesday.
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Lineups:
ROYALS
Jarrod Dyson [L] CF
Paulo Orlando [R] RF
Eric Hosmer [L] 1B
Kendrys Morales DH
Salvador Perez [R] C
Alex Gordon [L] LF
Cheslor Cuthbert [R] 3B
Alcides Escobar [R] SS
Whit Merrifield [R] 2B
Ian Kennedy [R] P
TWINS
Brian Dozier [R] 2B
Joe Mauer [L] 1B
Trevor Plouffe [R] 3B
Miguel Sano [R] DH
Eddie Rosario [L] LF
Eduardo Escobar SS
Logan Schafer [L] RF
Juan Centeno [L] C
Byron Buxton [R] CF
Jose Berrios [R] P
Game-time forecast: 80 deg F, mostly cloudy, 15% chance of rain, winds from the SSW at 11mph.
Play ball! Go Twins!







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