Twins Video
1. Bigfoot Sightings – Sightings of Bigfoot are very rare and photos are mostly blurry. A few years back I decided to go out and try to find one, to prove once and for all the existence of these creatures. I started at Walmart because that seemed like a natural place to start. I found a few people that looked like possibilities for a while but in the end I had to pack up and move out to a nearby forest to continue my search. It was there that I saw a large, hairy creature walking on two legs toward me. It was about 9 feet tall… large eyes with a low set forehead. It had an incredibly powerful smell that got stronger as it got closer. I grabbed my camera and got ready to shoot some photos when I noticed that both of his feet were extremely large. Once I realized that both feet were of equal size… I then knew that it wasn’t a Bigfoot… it was a Bigfeet and the whole experience was a waste of time.
2. Alien Abductions – There are many reports of people being abducted by aliens but after extensive research it has been determined that this type of abduction is a rare occurrence. If you are worried about such things… there are a few things that you can do to avoid being abducted by aliens:
1. Stay in the house and never leave.
2. If you must go out… cover yourself in honey and walk backwards.
3. If you run into aliens… pretend to not understand what they are saying and they will leave you alone in frustration.
3. Vending Machine falling on you – According to statistics… only two people a year are killed by vending machines in the United States. This makes this a fairly rare occurrence. You know how it works… you want a Milky Way and you put in your money and you push G5 and the thing spins around and stops while the Milky Way hangs on the edge. You have a few choices at this point:
1. Pay for the product again to make it spin around some more.
2. Go find someone with a key and a heart.
3. Walk away and go without.
4. Take a baseball bat to the glass and grab as many Milky Way’s as you want.
5. Rock the machine back and forth until it falls over on you and kills you.
Option 5 is viable but you should know that it is possible that someone will walk past your body and say "Hey Look... a Free Milky Way".
4. Winning the Lottery – We can all dream… right? You buy that lottery ticket with the hope that those numbers will come up and you can spend your life financially set. Whenever the jackpot reaches record levels, the excitement ramps up and the lines to buy tickets increase. Yep… a 500 million dollar jackpot will cause people to run to the convenience store and buy a ticket. A 32 million dollar jackpot… no lines at all… It’s simply not enough money to be worth the effort of putting on pants to leave the house.
5. Hole in One – In the sport of golf these are celebrated events. If you get one… you’ll get your name in the paper along with those who witnessed it. I have never done it and I have never seen anyone else do it either.
(True Story) However… at age 22… I did pull off a double eagle and I’ve been told that is even rarer than a hole in one but I didn't get my name in the paper so it didn't feel as rare. Even rarer still was the 50-yard shot that I made. It was hole #18 and my short game had been (chipping over the green) frustrating me all day. I was 50 yards out… sitting at 98 strokes and I was pissed because I knew my score was going to be triple digits. I put my wedge back in the bag because I just couldn’t go through that again and I grabbed my putter. My friend said “What the hell are you doing?” I told him, "I don’t care anymore... I’m not swinging that wedge ever again… I’m just gonna putt my way in and go home." My friend looked around to see if anyone was watching because he wanted to know how embarrassed he should be. AND YES!!! I drained it from 50 yards with a putter for a final score of 99. My friend shook his head and said “Can I have your wedge if you aren’t going to use it anymore.” (True Story)
I had a witness and that should have made the paper.
____________________
Lineups:
TWINS
Brian Dozier [R] 2B
Jorge Polanco SS
Joe Mauer [L] 1B
Trevor Plouffe [R] 3B
Max Kepler [L] RF
Kurt Suzuki [R] C
Eddie Rosario [L] CF
Robbie Grossman LF
Ervin Santana [R] P
BRAVES
Ender Inciarte [L] CF
Erick Aybar SS
Freddie Freeman [L] 1B
Matt Kemp [R] LF
Nick Markakis [L] RF
Adonis Garcia [R] 3B
Jace Peterson [L] 2B
A.J. Pierzynski [L] C
Joel De La Cruz P
Forecast: partly cloudy, 88 (94) deg F, 15-30% chance of rain, winds from the SSW at 6mph
Go Twins!







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