Royce Lewis, Byron Buxton Expected to Platoon on IL

The Minnesota Twins’ relatively healthy spring training was marred earlier this week when infielder Royce Lewis strained a hamstring, knocking him out of the season opener (and likely a few more weeks beyond that). While it’s far from good news, team leaders say they are ready.

“As a team that has been cursed by an absent, laughing god, you have to be able to pivot,” said manager Rocco Baldelli. “Arguably our two best position players are constantly hurt due to the rigors of the game, the frailty of the human body, and horrible luck. And since we already platoon some other players to maximize favorable matchups, we’re moving forward with an IL platoon for [Lewis and center fielder Byron Buxton].”

The manager confirmed earlier media reports that Lewis and his fellow frequent injury-haver would alternate time spent on the team’s injured list. Once Lewis is ready to return, Buxton will take his place with an as-yet-unspecified injury.

“You know as well as I do that once Lewis gets the green light to return, a Cybertruck door will fly off and hit Buxton in the ribs,” said Baldelli. “We’re just getting it on the schedule and eliminating the middleman.”

Baldelli laughed when asked what he’d do if both players were healthy at the same time.

“What would I do if Superman was real,” he responded. “What would I do if pizza didn’t have calories? What would I do if (The Athletic’s Dan) Hayes would just admit that Brock Purdy will never lead a team to a Super Bowl win? We’re dealing with possibilities so far from our lived experience that I reject the premise.”

Minnesota opens the season against former Twin Sonny Gray and the St. Louis Cardinals on Thursday, March 27th.

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