Hundreds Of Men Named Cody Wait In Line To Attend Twins Daily’s Opening Day Watch Party At BlackStack Brewing

[Lou Hennessy]

Roughly 75% of the guest list consists of someone with the unfortunate first name, and most are currently on staff. 
 

Image courtesy of Purple Wolf Graphics

With the official start to the Minnesota Twins’ 2025 season already upon us, Twins Daily’s popular Opening Day watch party event is poised to have its largest gathering ever. That is, of course, because every man named Cody in the quad-state area is planning to attend. 

Organizers of the event are expecting somewhere between 200-300 Codies (Codys? Codi?) to make their way to BlackStack Brewing on Thursday afternoon to watch the Twins take on the St. Louis Cardinals.

“Seriously, I don’t know what was in the water in the Midwest between 1990 and 2002, but the Cody population absolutely skyrocketed,” said Twins Daily’s own John Bonnes, as he descended the stairs of his private jet. “And now they all want me to pay them to write about the Twins.”

Twins Daily’s Opening Day watch party is known as an ideal habitat for these peculiar men to mingle awkwardly with each other while watching their favorite team. Other members of the audience also insist that they have a great time just the same, but it’s like the freaking Super Bowl for anyone named Cody. 

“I don’t see the correlation, and frankly I don’t like being put on the spot like this,” said an unspecified Cody who wished to remain nameless, and will hereby be signified with the call name Code Red due to his communist leanings. “And you’re making fun of us? Your name makes it sound like you should be a used car salesman from Toledo.”

Thursday is projected to be the largest gathering of Cody-named people since the dreaded Imagine Dragons concert of 2018. And if the Twins have a relatively successful season in 2025, experts say next year's Opening Day watch party could have nearly quadruple the amount of Cody. Not only would that be a fire hazard, but it would be an affront to all that is good and holy. 

“You can try to stop us all you want,” said Code Red while getting a hammer and sickle tattooed under his left eye. “But eventually the site will have no choice but to be renamed to Cody Daily.”

A bleak proposition, indeed.

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[Cory Engelhardt]

I knew I should have made a point to attend today. But alas, my name is just not quite there. Maybe next year there will be a Cory-led event :)

[Joe A. Preusser]

I went to high-school with a girl named Jenelle Cote, same pronunciation.  Would she be welcome?

Also, how does one get a ride on John's private jet?