Hello, fellow humans! My name is William Malone IV. Son of William Malone III. And I come with great news! The Minnesota Twins played two baseball games today. How cool is that? Baseball is such a wonderful sport, and Twins fans got double the action today.

While these were not regular season baseball games, that time of year is approaching. The beginning of the regular season is marked by Opening Day! It is a wonderful holiday, or at least should be seen as a holiday. Any president who makes Opening Day a national holiday would have all of our votes for life. Term limits be damned. Write-in it is! 

These games on Opening Day feature two starting pitchers. One for the Twins, and a second one for their opponent. Often times, teams will send their very best starting pitcher to the mound for this delightful contest of baseball. Because of this, Minnesota has faced many tremendous starting pitchers on Opening Day over the years. Today, we will rank them. Or at least rank the ones who have started against the Twins in game one this century (since 2000).

Please note that these rankings are based on the pitcher's entire career. But feel free to comment and say what a big stupid dum dum your ole pal William Malone IV is when you don't agree where someone is ranked. 

24. Mike Maroth (2003 - Detroit Tigers)
The Twins handed Maroth a loss on Opening Day in 2003, and that was the first of a league high 21 losses for him that season. For his career, he pitched six seasons in the big leagues. All but 38 of his 918 career innings came with the Tigers. Maroth actually spent 2010 in the Twins system on a minor league deal, but he was never called up from Rochester. This was the final year of his professional baseball career.

23. Dylan Bundy (2018 - Baltimore Orioles)
Once wildly regarded as the best pitching prospect in baseball, Bundy never really blossomed into what was expected of him. While his 4.74 ERA over eight seasons was a disappointment, his seven shutout innings against Minnesota on Opening Day was not.

22. Ricky Romero (2011 - Toronto Blue Jays)
Injuries ruined what could've been a great career for Romero. He was the sixth overall pick at one point, but was limited to just five seasons in the big leagues. This did include one All-Star appearance and a tenth place Cy Young finish in 2010, but Romero was out of the league just two year later. Unlike most pitchers, it wasn't arm issues that got to him. Multiple knee surgeries and torn quads in both legs were some of the injuries keeping him off the field.

21. Chris Tillman (2016 - Baltimore Orioles)
This was a weird game. Tillman and Ervin Santana both pitched two shutout innings, and then a lengthy rain delay occurred. Each team went to their bullpen when play resumed, only to have Tillman and Santana go at it again on "short rest" in the third game of their series. For his career, Tillman spent his entire ten year career in Baltimore. He had a 4.57 ERA, and was an All-Star in 2013.

20. Jeff Weaver (2001 - Detroit Tigers)
Jeff Weaver was good for the Tigers on Opening Day in 2001, but Brad Radke was just a bit better. He pitched a complete game, but the Twins snuck out with a 3-2 win. For his career, Weaver pitched 11 years with six clubs. Know to be a bit wild, he led the league in hit batters three different times. 

19. Erik Bedard (2007 - Baltimore Orioles)
2007 was a career year for Bedard, but you wouldn't know that by what he did on Opening Day. The Twins scored six runs in just 4.2 innings against him, and then Bedard went onto finish fifth in the AL Cy Young voting. He led the league in H/9 and K/9 that season. For his career, he owns a 4.99 ERA over 11 seasons with six clubs.

18 Brandon Woodruff (2021 - Milwaukee Brewers)
The Twins took care of Woodruff on Opening Day in 2021, but their bullpen couldn't hold on and the Brewers came back to win. His career has been very good when healthy, but staying on the field has been an issue. He missed all of 2024 while recovering from shoulder surgery.

17. Robbie Ray (2022 - Seattle Mariners)
The 2021 AL Cy Young winner made his Mariners debut on Opening Day in 2022 against the Twins. While he dominated on that particular day, the big free agency deal he signed with Seattle ultimately fizzled out. Through three seasons of his five year deal, Ray has only started 40-games and was used out of the bullpen when Seattle made the postseason in 2022. He has since been traded to the Giants.

16. Steve Trachsel (2000 - Tampa Bay Devil Rays)
Steve Trachsel tossed seven shutout innings for Tampa Bay on Opening Day in 2000. For his career, he was a one time All-Star who pitched 16 seasons in the big leagues. Most of this time was with the Cubs and Mets. 2000 was his only season with the Devil Rays, and he didn't even last the whole year. Toronto acquired him at the deadline that summer.

15. Jeff Suppan (2002 - Kansas City Royals)
Opening Day in 2002 was a high scoring affair. Suppan and Radke both got hit around pretty hard, with Minnesota hanging onto win 8-6. For his career, Suppan pitched 17 years with seven different clubs. He was named NLCS MVP in 2006, helping the St. Louis Cardinals win the World Series later on that fall.

14. Danny Duffy (2017 - Kansas City Royals)
Danny Duffy was great on Opening Day in 2017, but it served as a good reminder that the elite 2014-15 Royals bullpen was a thing of the past. Minnesota teed off for six runs on the Kansas City bullpen after Duffy departed, winning the game. For his career, Duffy spent his entire 11-year career with the Royals. He had a 3.95 career ERA, and helped win a World Series in 2015.

13. Cole Ragans (2024 - Kansas City Royals)
It's rather hard to rank someone so young against guys who have had full careers. So this seems like a good spot for now.

12. Lucas Giolito (2020 - Chicago White Sox)
The Bomba Squad's encore was delayed due to the COVID-19 pandemic, but they opened up their 2020 season by lighting up White Sox ace Lucas Giolito. For his career, he's a one time All-Star who had gotten Cy Young votes three times. Giolito is currently with the Boston Red Sox, and missed all of last season after undergoing Tommy John surgery.

11. Jamie Moyer (2005 - Seattle Mariners)
The 42-year old southpaw, who was still seven years away from retirement, pitched 5.2 innings of one run ball against Minnesota on Opening Day in 2005. The lone run was unearned, and the Twins lost 5-1. For his career, Moyer pitched 25 years and won a World Series with the Philadelphia Phillies in 2008. The 522 home runs he allowed is a Major League record, but that is mostly due to insane longevity. Not poor performance.

10. Jake Arrieta (2012 - Baltimore Orioles)
Jake Arrieta didn't do much with the Baltimore Orioles, putting up a 5.46 ERA during his four seasons there. Maybe you even forgot those years happened. He broke out later on with the Chicago Cubs, winning NL Cy Young in 2015 and the World Series in 2016. His career took a downturn again after cashing in as a free agent with the Philadelphia Phillies.

9. Jared Weaver (2008 and 2010 - Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim)
You might remember Jeff Weaver from earlier in this list. Here is his younger brother! Weaver was a little unproven in 2008, but by 2010 he was seen as an elite starting pitcher. For his career, Weaver was a three time All-Star and finished top five in the AL Cy Young voting three times.

8. Corey Kluber (2019 - Cleveland Indians)
Jose Berrios vs. two time Cy Young winner Corey Kluber on Opening Day in 2019 was a great pitcher's duel. It was a 2-0 win for the Twins, with a two run single by Marwin Gonzalez in the seventh holding up as the difference. Injuries later on in his career will probably keep Kluber out of Cooperstown discussions, but he had a Hall of Fame peak.

7. David Price (2015 - Detroit Tigers)
8.2 shutout innings from David Price opened the door for Joe Nathan to get the final save of his career on Opening Day in 2015. For his career, Price was a five time All-Star who won the Cy Young in 2012.

6. Felix Hernandez (2009 - Seattle Mariners)
Hernandez had crazy hype when he debuted at a 19-year old kid in 2005, but it took a while for him to truly become King Felix. 2009 would turn into his breakout campaign, and that started with a dominant eight inning performance against the Twins on Opening Day. He made his first of six All-Star teams that season, and finished as the Cy Young runner-up. Hernandez won the Cy Young in 2010.

5. Chris Sale (2014 - Chicago White Sox)
Chris Sale didn't win a Cy Young until 2024, but he finished top five in Cy Young voting each year between 2012 and 2018. He was always a dominant force on these White Sox teams that couldn't build around him, but they were able to get a win on Opening Day in 2014 against the Twins and Ricky Nolasco.

4. Zack Greinke (2023 Kansas City Royals)
Greinke was a shell of himself when starting on Opening Day in 2023, but that doesn't take away from the amazing career he had. He was a six time All-Star who won the AL Cy Young in 2009.

3. Roy Halladay (2006 - Toronto Blue Jays)
Johan Santana vs. Roy Halladay in 2006 might be the best Opening Day pitching matchup in Twins history. Halladay won the AL Cy Young in 2003. Santana won it in 2004, and you can argue he should've won in 2005. And for as good as Santana was in 2005, Halladay was even better until injuries wound up limiting him to just 19 starts that year.

2. CC Sabathia (2004 - Cleveland Indians)
The Hall of Fame lefty was brilliant on Opening Day in 2004, only to have his seven shutout innings ruined by the Cleveland bullpen. Twins outfielder Shannon Stewart hit a walk-off homer in the 11th. For his career, Sabathia won 251 games and was elected to Cooperstown on the first ballot.

1. Justin Verlander (2013 - Detroit Tigers)
The three time Cy Young winner looked every bit like a three time Cy Young winner against the Twins on Opening Day in 2013. But he left after five innings due to a blister on his hand, which gave Minnesota a little hope. They scored a few against the Tigers bullpen, but lost 4-2.