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Well, my son said his Instagram handle was Kepleroni.

Really like Big Cat Sano. I'm leaning toward "The Blade" Santana because he's thin and cuts you down.

OK, ladies and gents, I was called in from the bullpen to create a game thread, so here it is.

Nicknames! How many of you remember these words? “A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty Hi-Yo Silver! The Lone Ranger! ... With his faithful Indian companion Tonto, the daring and resourceful masked rider of the plains led the fight for law and order in the early western United States! Nowhere in the pages of history can one find a greater champion of justice! Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear! From out of the past come the thundering hoofbeats of the great horse Silver! The Lone Ranger rides again!” The most famous, but mythical Texas Ranger was the Lone Ranger who draws his nickname both from having once been a Texas Ranger himself and from being the only surviving member of a posse of six Texas Rangers whose other five members (including his own older brother, a Texas Rangers captain) were killed in a massacre at Bryant's Gap. While the Lone Ranger’s brother’s name was Daniel Reid, the Lone Ranger’s first name was never spoken. Tonto finds the Lone Ranger barely alive, nurses him back to health and becomes his faithful companion. He also digs six graves to make it look like all six Rangers died and fashions the Lone Rangers famous mask out of his dead brothers vest. A few facts (and myths) about the Texas Rangers…the real Texas Rangers, not those sissies who try to play baseball. - The Texas Ranger Division, commonly called the Texas Rangers, is a law enforcement agency with statewide jurisdiction in Texas, based in the capital city of Austin. - The Texas Rangers were unofficially created by Stephen F. Austin (that’s right, the 6 million dollar man – another nickname) in a call-to-arms written in 1823. - The real Texas Rangers from the old west have been described as such “A large proportion were unmarried. A few of them drank intoxicating liquors. Still, it was a company of sober and brave men. They knew their duty and they did it. While in a town they made no braggadocio demonstration. They did not gallop through the streets, shoot, and yell. They had moral discipline which developed moral courage. They did right because it was right.”...while all that may be true, one thing we know about the Texas Rangers is that they're no Angels! - Over the years, the Texas Rangers have investigated crimes ranging from murder to political corruption, acted in riot control and as detectives, protected the Governor of Texas, tracked down fugitives like Bonnie and Clyde, and actually thwarted an assassination attempt of William Howard Taft. - As of 2014, there were 150 commissioned members of the Ranger force. - There is a museum dedicated to the Texas Rangers in Waco, Texas. -Texas Rangers had some of the best nicknames on the planet – Bigfoot Wallace, Rip Ford, Bat Masterson. Those are the kind of nicknames that we need in baseball today! Nicknames! We need nicknames for our Twins. So, today I start the campaign for a nickname for each Twin. The first, and most obvious, is Brian “Bull” Dozier. Byron “Buck” Buxton…but I think we can do better (“BB gun” Buxton?)….and now I’m stuck. Get creative. Pick a player and find a nickname. It has to be somewhat manly and sound like it belongs on a baseball field (Molly does not qualify – do better). I realize that is a sexist thing to say, but political correctness has never been my thing. Go Twins! Starting lineups - TBD Erv "The Blade" Santana...Ervin "Smooth" Santana Andrew "Money" Cashner

Maybe these Springsteen lyrics will best describe our Twins - "Show a little faith, there's magic in the night. You ain't a beauty, but hey, you're alright".

Also, always liked the up tempo No Surrender - "we learned more from a 3 minute record baby than we ever learned in school".

Good point but for some reason I find it less irritating when it's put to music.

I am a huge fan of Springsteen's music, but like many entertainers, wish he would keep his political views to himself...shut up and entertain us. I've always though Born to Run was a candidate for the best rock and roll song ever. Love Jungleland. Agree on Thunder Road. Favorite lyric from a Springsteen song - "Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king, and the king ain't satisfied till he rules everything"

Hmmm. Perhaps we are who we thought we were.

or not.

Buxton is going to hit his first home run of the year....a bold call from the sidelines.

Considering that we have dropped the last 3 and are on a bit of a skid, a rainout would be mother natures way of ending the skid. I think the forecast calls for partly partly with a chance of darkness toward evening. It also give us fans a chance to pause and catch our wits. OK, so, we are 7-7 and have won only 3 of the last 10. However, KC is 6-7, Cleveland is 7-7, Chicago is 7-7, and the division leading Tiggers are 1.5 games in front of us at 8-5. Everyone is within 2 games of each other. Considering where we were last year at this time, I'll take it. We need a rainout and a postponement to a date when we are hitting the baseball again. It's all good.

Yeah, I agree, but I would think that pitchers will start challenging the guys in front of Sano more as the season goes on. The walks so far have been insane and I can't imagine it continues. I would say Kepler is a guy that can fill in behind Sano on the current roster, but I would like to see Park behind him as Park seems to hit righties better than lefties. Contrary to some, I don't mind seeing Dozier in the leadoff role especially now that he is swiping bases. Grossman isn't a bad 2 hitter because he takes a lot of pitches and gives Dozier a chance to steal a base. Without Grossman there, Mauler makes the most sense at 2 for that reason. I'd love to see Sano at 3 kind of like Cabrera with a power hitter behind him, but right now, it isn't broke, so I don't have a problem not fixing it.

What I see happening without a legit DH that is a threat to go deep is that Sano will be pitched around. What makes Cabrera tough? The fact that the guy behind him, VMart, is a great hitter. We don't have that and Grossman will never be that. I see him as a guy that's just filling a spot for now until we find a legit DH.

LOLOLOL! Obviously, I'm not Catholic.

Just curious but if a player is Catholic and goes to mass on Good Friday before the game, do they play the game with the ashes on their forehead? Has anyone ever seen that?

And that's the ball game. Nice job by Haley throwing strikes.

One thing that does impress me about Haley is that he attacks the strike zone. You gotta hit it if you want to win.

Cabrera hitting .133...think anyone in Detroit is worried? Bench him!

Perspective. It's all about perspective. 5-3 is good. If we win today, we have a .500 road trip which is good, but keep in mind that Chicago started last year 16-6. Until the All-Star break, teams are trying to figure it out. If you look at stats across the MLB, a lot of teams aren't hitting the ball well yet. If we can win 2 of 3 at home and go .500 on the road, we will be in the playoff mix. So, take a step back from the game to game stuff and look at our overall play. Our defense looks pretty good right now. Polanco looks adequate at short, our outfield looks great, Sano looks much better at 3rd than in the outfield, Castro looks good behind the plate, our pitchers are going deeper into games than they did last year. So far, so good. If they keep doing that, we could win 5 of 8 for the whole year.

Until Gibson stops nibbling and trusts his fastball, it will be more of the same. I'm sure he looks at it as one that got away.

No, that was the 5th inning.

I feel a shift in the momentum of the game.

I said I was interested in watching Gibson today. When I watched the first game, I thought he looked the same as last year. So far, today kind of confirms that. I know they are talking about his new arm angle and delivery and all that, but I think it's just talk.

Golfed out and we are down 5-3.