Riverbrian

This is still your best

I LOVE BARK ART!!!

I just stopped with the biscuits. Just doing the gravy now.

Put Falvey in there somewhere

IT'S BEEN AWHILE!!! C'mon.. That was the lowest hanging fruit What are doing way up there in the trees. You could have stayed on your knees.

In all seriousness... (I have to type something like that when I'm actually serious). I wonder about Buxton 3 and Mauer 4 like everybody else but... I believe that Mauer should be handcuffed to Buxton hitting behind him in the order. So... 3 4 is kinda OK with me. OK... I'll duck behind furniture now to avoid the tomatoes.

I wonder if the Royals will start trading Hosmer, Moose and Cain tomorrow.

Hey look... That's Sano up

My doctor did the same thing but told me 10 Feet 10 Inches

Yeah it's possible... let's go with that. Just so you know... I wouldn't bother fact checking anything I type. It's pointless since I typically don't fact check anything before I type it.

67 Game Winners?

I assume you didn't just screw off a cap or pop a tab because that wouldn't have taken that long.

I just got caught up and read all of the posts and just as I did... Sano got the Twins caught up. Caught up Synergy.

Almost as good as Travis Rabbithat

I'd agree with that but I'd rather have less runners reaching third base.

He crossed the plate with the World Series winning run. That's great enough for me. At least Cory didn't use that description for Ron Davis.

My wife is nodding her head up and down to signify agreement.

It would get way too quiet because everybody would run out of subject matter.

I've got this as the new post of the day.

I saw Stevie Ray Vaughan once. I didn't know who he was at the time but I was lucky enough to have seats about 2 feet from him. I remember the first song he played and he blew me away. It was "Couldn't Stand the Weather".

I just heard Jack Morris say that "Sano should be more comfortable at third place" Third Place... Not Bad

I'm always excited about opening day. This year... Today.at least.. I find myself excited about the potential of the new Joe M conversation for thought #4. The potential of this new format is making me smile at least.

I normally try to avoid negativity and normally especially on opening day. However... it couldn't be helped this year. I decided yesterday that Richard III was where I was going and once you go that direction. You are miles away from positive. So here we are... with the Twins. So... knock out a home run... shout a hip hoo-ray.

I would have went with "outdoo'd" or "outdoneth" but it works none the less.

Shakespeare sets the scene at the very beginning of Richard III. That’s right… I’m pulling out Shakespeare on the opening game thread of the 2017 season. Shakespeare uses a lot of fancy words with unnecessary apostrophes, but after someone explains it all to you, the realization is that our Twins are a lot like Richard III. "An Ace! An Ace! My Kingdom for an Ace." Like the soon to be King Richard, our Twins are introduced to us as deformed, unfinished, sent before their time into this breathing 2017 season. It is supposed to be a time of happiness, a time of peace, because our family troubles have come to an end with the removal of King Ryan but yet, here we are anyway, an actor on the stage talking to himself, preparing the upcoming misery. Another comparable… Actors who portray Richard III tend to overact significantly and the construction of these Twins has caused severe overreacting on TD. Overreacting just like I over-wrote this beginning by starting 2017 with Shakespeare. I could have gone anywhere else. It’s 2017 and the Twins return with the same rotation and with minimal improvement to the bullpen… that was our off-season… that was “The winter of OUR discontent.” Here are some things to think about: 1. Opening Day – Despite the obvious negative tone of the introduction, it is opening day and the possibility of 162-0 still exists no matter how unlikely and that alone should be cause for the slightest of optimism. There are many ways to skin a cat so it’s possible that we are about to witness a new way to do exactly that. Although, we would all feel better about that possibility if they actually located a cat and if they were not holding a spoon while waiting for one to come near. 2. Our Twins – We are curious to see if Dozier can come close to duplicating last year. We are curious to see if this is the year that Buxton and Sano breakout. We are curious to see if Kepler, Rosario and Polanco can demonstrate major league capability. (Pause)… I just realized that it was curiosity that killed the cat. No wonder Falvey/Levine can’t find the damn cat. 3. The Royals – The Royals will be an interesting team to watch this year. The Royals hit a fork in the road this off-season with two paths to choose from. With Hosmer, Moustakas, Cain and others heading to free agency at the end of the year, one path was to trade these players with value remaining for younger talent and start the rebuilding process right away. The other path was to hang on to these players and go for it one more time and this was the path they chose. A baseball season is a long run and like Led Zeppelin said, “In the long run… there’s still time to change the road you’re on.” I had to make a similar decision once… Should I get some more gas before my car runs out or keep driving hoping to reach my destination before it does. I chose to keep driving my car and it worked just fine. The moral to that story is this: Never buy gas for your car!!! 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation (For all of 2017… I’ve decided that thought #4 will be a conversation between Joe Mauer, Joe Maddon and Joe McCarthy) -- Maddon: Hey Joe, what are you doing. Mauer: Well… McCarthy was hungry and I needed to work on my hitting to left field so I’m dropping apples into my Joe Mauer quick swing while McCarthy waits for the apple chunks to eat in left field. Maddon: That’s brilliant… The apple is the right size for the tubing. You are getting your hitting in and McCarthy gets some food… That’s a great idea. Mauer: It also works with those nice round dinner rolls but they don’t go as far so McCarthy has to move in a little. McCarthy: (Coming in from left field to join the conversation). Yep… Apples and Dinner Rolls work great. We also tried Meat Loaf but it got stuck and it didn’t work. Maddon: Ahh… yes… I suppose… Meat Loaf… well… Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad. 5. Perfection – I read a lot of resumes in my job. I've come to the conclusion that these pieces of paper are the closest to perfection that these people will ever come to. ____________________ Game-time forecast: 53 deg F, cloudy with a 55-65% chance of rain, winds from the NE at 11mph. Lineups: ROYALS Alex Gordon (L) LF Mike Moustakas (L) 3B Lorenzo Cain (R ) CF Eric Hosmer (L) 1B Salvador Perez (R ) C Brandon Moss (L) DH Paulo Orlando (R ) RF Alcides Escobar (R ) SS Raul Mondesi (S) 2B Duffy, P TWINS Dozier (R ) 2B Robbie Grossman (S) DH Byron Buxton (R ) CF Joe Mauer (L) 1B Miguel Sano (R ) 3B Jason Castro (L) C Jorge Polanco (S) SS Max Kepler (L) RF Eddie Rosario (L) LF Santana, P Win Twins! Play ball! Click here to view the article