Riverbrian

It's still gonna take more time.

1. Bamboo 2. Shreveport Louisana 3. Dangling Participles 4. Canoes 5. Susan Dey

I think he can I'm starting to question his effort now.

That catch will make up for his throw.

Don't argue with me on my birthday!!!

Looked like he wasn't really trying.

Thanks for the birthday wishes all!!! It's been a great day... Just got back from B-Dubs and I'm in my seat and the game is on.

You mean eat them. Everybody else does it wrong

The Twins kick off a 3-game series against the Tigers tonight at Target Field. Yeah… blah blah blah… Let’s get to the major news story of the day and that is my birthday! Yes I was born on September 20th and my family will probably take me out to Buffalo Wild Wings or Red Lobster for supper. They said I could pick where my surprise party will be at. A birthday is just one day out of 365 and in most cases… it’s a pretty routine day. However… in my case… some very unique things have happened to me on my birthday in the past. Here are some things to think about: 1. 1966 – Mom baked me a cake and brought it to my high chair and then the power went out. She grabbed a candle and put it down to find something to light it. Then the power came back on and everyone started laughing because she put the candle down right in the middle of the cake by accident. Every subsequent birthday that followed, she would add a candle until the cake was a fire hazard and this eventually spread across the globe as the standard birthday celebration tradition. With a slight alteration… instead of blowing out the candles… we eat them. 2. 1971 – It was on my birthday that I discovered that animals can sense changes in the weather. There was a tornado that day and we were pre-warned by the strange behavior of our family dog prior to the storm arriving. Our dog started barking while she circled around the living room a couple of times and then she grabbed the keys to the car and drove to a neighboring town. 3. 1976 – President Carter wasn’t sure if he should do an interview with Playboy magazine. He was worried that they may ask uncomfortable questions about things that were not presidential to talk about. It was my birthday when I told him that he had nothing to worry about because nobody ever reads those articles anyway. 4. 1985 – I made my first trip to Walt Disney World on my birthday and I was there the very day that they reached the 200 Million guest mark. All 200 million were at the park waiting in front of me for all rides. 5. 1987 – It was a painful time in my life so I don’t talk about it much but September 20th 1987 was the day I was fired from the group N.W.A. as the result of a power struggle between Eazy-E and myself. Cube and Dre’ were absolutely on my side but E became too powerful and I was forced out the door. My departure caused a divide and it never healed and eventually led to Cube going solo. I even recorded and rapped my own verse on “Straight Outta Compton” that was edited out. I’m Straight Outta Compton… Well… No Not really… I’m from Minnesota so that would be silly. I eat hot dish.... when the weather goes cold… I dress warmly when it’s 20 below. I take walleye… from the lake… the DNR tells me how much I can take. Officer Jim… he is my neighbor… when I need something… He’ll do me a favor. ____________________ Lineups: TIGERS Cameron Maybin® CF Jose Iglesias® SS Miguel Cabrera® 1B J.D. Martinez® RF Justin Upton® LF James McCann® DH JaCoby Jones® 3B Jarrod Saltalamacchia(S) C Andrew Romine(S) 2B Matt Boyd(L) P TWINS Brian Dozier® 2B Jorge Polanco(S) SS Robbie Grossman(S) LF Kennys Vargas(S) 1B Kurt Suzuki® DH Max Kepler(L) RF Eduardo Escobar(S) 3B John Ryan Murphy® C Byron Buxton® CF Hector Santiago(L) P Game-time forecast: 75 deg F, party cloudy, it's not going to rain, winds from the ESE at 7mph. In other words, there is not going to be another tornado on Brian's birthday. Go Twins! Click here to view the article

If the Twins pitch next year like they did this year... Repeating 100 losses sounds reasonable. If the new guy can dig up pitching that gets us closer to league average. I would not be surprised if the Twins win more than they lose.

Nice to see Berrios wiggle out of that. 8-9-1 in the order but nice to see nonetheless.

Kepler got caught by the quick twitch muscles of Colon.

That may be why Cespedes has been traded 98 times in 4 years.

The Twins open a 3-game series with the Mets tonight. The game will be played using National League rules and that means no DH so I’m not sure where Suzuki will play. I have become OK with the American League’s use of the DH and that’s because I don’t want to be hypocritical. I use the equivalent of a DH all the time in my own life. Here are some things to think about: 1. Hair Stylist – I can’t cut my own hair… correction… yes, I can cut my own hair but not with that evenness that people strive for. When the time comes... I sit down in the chair and wait for the question that they ask me every time, “How do you want it cut?" I don’t know because I don’t know the hair style code that must be necessary to communicate what you want done. Is it like play-calling in football? Pro-Left Split 439 F Motion Right. Are there specific names for each style that I don’t know? I’ll have the Beehive please. Do they have all the famous people memorized? I’d like a Donald Trump. Basically… the only thing I say is… “Shoot for significantly shorter." 2. Mechanic – Over the years… I’ve learned to jump start my car and I know how to put gas in the tank. And… well… that's the entire list of things that I can do for car repair. If something goes wrong… I will pop the hood and take a look… hoping to see a giant on-off switch to switch on or off. At that point… I throw up my hands and give up. 3. Plumber – Not just a plumber anymore… somewhere along the way… plumbung has gotten mixed in with heating and cooling. Apparently… plumbing alone wasn’t paying the bills so they had to merge with the heating folks and eventually the cooling people felt left out and now they are all mixed together. This means the same guy comes over for a variety of issues and frequently enough that we cleared out space in our fridge for his favorite food and had an extra bedroom built. 4. Cook – I try… I really do. I follow recipes… I use measuring cups and I use the same ingredients that other people use and yet… the food I prepare always tastes a little bit off. Let me give you an example... My wife wasn’t home so I decided to cook for myself and I felt like making meat loaf. The left overs got left on the counter because I forgot to put them in the fridge and I went to bed. My wife came home and had some. She woke me up and said… “What made you decide to make banana bread?" 5. Dancer – It’s my own fault… I married a girl from a Polish family and they like to dance. My wife tried to help me along. One and two, three and four... one and two, three and four… then we’d start spinning and I’m still counting… one and two, three and four.The kick thing timing was frustrating. If I had a quarter for every time she did that to me, I’d have enough money to pay someone else to dance with her. My kids became the DH for me but they are off to college and I'm the target once again. _____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier® 2B Joe Mauer(L) 1B Jorge Polanco(S) SS Max Kepler(L) RF Kurt Suzuki® C Eduardo Escobar(S) 3B Eddie Rosario(L) LF Byron Buxton® CF Jose Berrios® P METS Jose Reyes(S) 3B Asdrubal Cabrera(S) SS Yoenis Cespedes® LF Curtis Granderson(L) CF Jay Bruce(L) RF T.J. Rivera® 2B James Loney(L) 1B Travis d'Arnaud® C Bartolo Colon® P Game-time forecast: 68 deg F, clear, light breeze. Go Twins! Click here to view the article

I think it means that Paul doesn't like Sano defensively... Anywhere but even Paul knows that 3B may be his only shot. I also believe that Polanco (because of team context) is being given an extended look at SS like Sano got in RF. Escobar... has no margin of error. He has been losing his job in a light breeze since he made the bigs.

The Twins travel to Detroit to kick off a 4 games series with the Tigers. They have already played 13 straight games in the AL Central and after this series… it will be 17 straight. You’d figure… after all this time in the Central that the Twins would be centered by now… but… not so much. It’s certainly been an off-kilter season. Here are some things to think about: 1. The Sun – Sitting in the center of our Solar System, we’d be in a lot of trouble, if the sun were to go away. It would take 8 minutes for us to realize it because that is how long it takes for sunlight to reach the earth. The first clue would be total darkness… the 2nd clue would be the power company refusing to send a crew out to fix it 2. C.I.A – I started thinking about the Central Intelligence Agency for the purposes of thought #2 and I quickly realized that there were many ways that I could go with this. In order to streamline and focus my thought… I decided to do some internet research. I must have spent an hour researching the C.I.A and now I have 4 black vans parked outside my house. 3. Central Park – Right in the middle of Manhattan is a large rectangular thing called Central Park. 843 Acres of park space in the middle of some of the most valuable real estate in the world. It has taken some effort but today the park is a fairly safe place. It wasn’t always that way… it was a fairly dangerous place at one time but that never bothered me. I had the heart of a lion and because of that… a lifetime ban from the Central Park Zoo. 4. Daycare Center – Back when our kids were younger and my wife and I were both working, we did the math. With two kids in daycare… we’d have about $90 left from our paychecks… It sounded worth it. 5. Rugby, North Dakota – The actual geographical center of North America is 16 miles southwest of Rugby North Dakota. That didn’t stop Rugby from putting up a 15 foot tall rock obelisk at the crossroads of U.S. 2 and ND Highway 3 that gives the impression of being the actual spot. Our family rolled through Rugby and I stopped at the obelisk and my oldest son smiled and said, “Am I really standing in the exact center of North America?” I told him… “Not really… It’s actually 16 miles that way in the middle of a slough.” He then asked, “Why did we stop here then?” I replied, “I didn’t think you’d ask a question about it.” ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier® 2B Robbie Grossman(S) DH Miguel Sano® 3B Kennys Vargas(S) 1B Kurt Suzuki® C Max Kepler(L) RF Eduardo Escobar(S) SS Eddie Rosario(L) LF Byron Buxton® CF Ervin Santana® P TIGERS Ian Kinsler® 2B Cameron Maybin® CF Miguel Cabrera® 1B Victor Martinez(S) DH J.D. Martinez® RF Justin Upton® LF James McCann® C Andrew Romine(S) 3B Jose Iglesias® SS Daniel Norris® P Game-time forecast: clear, sunny (until 7:46pm), 71 deg F, 1% chance of precipitation so no rain, winds from the SSE at 6mph. Go Twins! Click here to view the article

I don't recall ever seeing Plouffe leave his feet.

I don't understand... How does an ordinary family sitting around and being difficult with Paul Giamatti make me want to buy Prism TV?

I thought it was the eyeball of a now more careful... Erin Andrews. Disclaimer: My attempts at humor should never be taken as tacit approval of any criminal activities.

Uff Da Buxton's throw landed on I-94

Uff Da Napoli hit that one to Nicollet Island