Riverbrian

The Twins kick off a 4-game series at Target Field tonight against the Astros. This young Astros team was supposed to better this year after being pretty good last year but they started slow and haven’t made up the ground they lost. Astros fans are a little shocked they are not ruling the world right now. It only stands to reason that they will be a year smarter and stronger was the thinking. Terry Ryan was banking on the same thing happening with our Twins and he lost his job. Youth is consistently inconsistent. Here are some things to think about:1. Meteorologists – Talk about inconsistent. And let me tell you… they are comfortable with that. I know a couple of them and when they give you a forecast they are quite confident that what they are telling you is going to happen… somewhere. What they struggle with is exactly where a storm will go and how fast it will get there because the conditions that dictate that are always changing. They may have told you… thunderstorms for tomorrow… and those thunderstorms happened… 50 miles to the north instead. Meanwhile… you are looking at sunshine wondering why you cancelled your tee time. It’s a great gig because you have built-in excuses for inaccuracy. I thought about being a weather guy because who wouldn’t want to work with beautiful weather models all day… but… I have a fear of heights so I knew that I couldn’t get through climb-it-all-ogy. 2. Women – It’s the inconsistency of the female that makes them special and those inconsistencies can be hard to understand. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it and I’ve narrowed it down to two specific times that they are hard to understand. Those times would be… before marriage and during marriage. All the other times you don’t care. 3. Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives – I like to road trip and there was a time that visiting the restaurants featured on Triple D would be scheduled into the road trips. I’ve stopped doing that because I realized that Guy Fieri is a liar. Talk about inconsistent… some have been okay, but sometimes those unique dishes that he calls "money" on camera are absolutely terrible. I’m convinced that they edit out the parts where he spits out the food and punches the cook. 4. Small Sample Sizes – I had a statistician who worked for me. He was good guy and very helpful at times. One day… there was smoke coming out of his office because of a fire. I ran in with a fire extinguisher and put the fire out while he was just standing there looking at it. As his boss… I had to ask him… “How did that happen?” And he replied… “I don’t know but I’ll find out,” to which I replied… “OK… Let me know what you find out.” A few minutes later… the fire alarms are going off and there is smoke everywhere in the entire building. For accuracy… he set more fires to increase the sample size. 5. The English Language – Our language is really an inconsistent mess. You can refuse refuse if the dump is full… You can present a present to someone on their birthday… they can object to the object if they don’t want it. On a farm you produce produce and you can combine your combines. Honestly... the English language can make coming up with these game thread openers hard because I really want to write right. Thank you, Editor, that even though I want to write right correctly, I don't really have to but she makes it look like I do. ____________________ Lineups: ASTROS Tony Kemp (L) DH Alex Bregman [R) 3B George Springer [R) RF Carlos Correa [R) SS Evan Gattis [R) C Marwin Gonzalez (S) 2B A.J. Reed (L) 1B Carlos Gomez [R) CF Jake Marisnick [R) LF Collin McHugh [R) P TWINS Brian Dozier [R) 2B Joe Mauer (L) 1B Max Kepler (L) RF Miguel Sano [R) DH Trevor Plouffe [R) 3B Eddie Rosario (L) CF Jorge Polanco (S) SS Juan Centeno (L) C Danny Santana (S) LF Tyler Duffey [R) P Game-time forecast: In keeping with point number one, it's sunny and beautiful somewhere in the world. Play ball! Go Twins! Click here to view the article

Where is Dustin Ackley? The Rays have every other Mariners infield prospect from the beginning of the decade.

The Kepler's have flown to Boston and now Tampa Bay. Obviously too lazy to fly as far as Minnesota.

Not true because... We don't understand what perturbed means.

You type in a great Maxwell Smart accent.

Yeah... I know You and I are on the same page. Molitor is the MAN!!!

How bout that Managin!!!

Anvils drop from buildings all the time.

It actually is. I lived in Minneapolis for a month in September 1987. (Great Month to do that). I took a temp job with Dolphin Temp and my temp job was a Van Driver for the Temps. And they had the Metrodome Contract so I would drive them to the dome and go in the players entrance and sign something and leave. When I walked out the door... there was a group of autograph seekers standing outside and they were shouting at Steve Bouchele to get an autograph and I was looking at the autograph seekers and so was Buechele and we collided and he went down... I stayed on my feet.

It was I... who killed him. I wanted him on my team for the longest time and in 2011 I reached and drafted him with the 13th pick overall. Because I knew he wouldn't be there when I drafted again at 36 and It was the only chance to get him. Passed up Carlos and Adrian Gonzalez... King Felix just to get Joe. And Joe went to hell and hasn't really come back yet. It's on me.

Back in 1987... I was walking out of the players entrance at the Metrodome in the afternoon before a night game and I wasn't watching where I was going and I collided with Steve Buechele of the Rangers who was coming in and I knocked him flat to the ground. I didn't injure him but he went 0-4 that night. So Yeah... The Twins still owe me.

I haven't read all the posts but this one has to be a candidate for post of the night.

Sano looks like Rochester might do him good but I'm absolutely against it because... I own him in my keeper league and I don't want to burn that roster spot... because I'm keeping him. So I'd appreciate it if the Twins did something for me.

I'm satisfied with a Dozier who can go the other way. I'm gonna be nice to him for awhile.

A little inside baseball this weekend as the Twins visit the Rays and that covered construction that they play in. The Twins had a great series with the Indians as we watched our young players perform very well and when the young players perform well it fuels the dreams for the future. Yeah… it’s all about dreams for the players and for the fans… and it’s really all about dreams for me. I got home late last night after visiting my Dad and when I have to get up early for work… the only chance that I have to write this game thread opener is to write in my sleep. So… yeah… I wrote this as I was sleeping and this is how it turned out. Here are some things to think about: 1. Counting Sheep – I really don’t know why sheep were chosen as the animal to count when trying to get to sleep but I can tell you this… it works. It shouldn’t... but it does. My uncle had a farm and he had sheep for a while and the mere idea of sheep being able to effortlessly jump over fences kept him up at night. My uncle became so worried about his sheep jumping over the fence that he would go out nightly and take inventory by counting them all… which of course he couldn’t do because it put him right to sleep. 2. Nightmares – I actually woke up screaming around 2am because I was having a nightmare. I went back to sleep with ease because I realized that the nightmare was impossible and could never happen in a million years. It was so absurd because I was having this nightmare that Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton were our presidential choices in November. [Edit: Despite being Brian's nightmare, let's not turn the game thread into a political 'discussion.' We have the Sports Bar Forum for that. Thanks.] 3. Snoring – I’m honestly not aware of my snoring but my wife claims that I snore. According to her… that’s the reason that I’m getting blasted nightly by that taser she bought. 4. Stealing the Covers – OK… maybe I snore… however… early in our marriage my wife was an extreme cover stealer. Every night… I’d wake up cold and all of the covers where on her side of the bed. Eventually I got used to it and now I go to bed without them and my wife adapts well because now she has started covering me up in her sleep. 5. Waking up this morning – You know how... you sometimes… wake up numb because you slept in a weird position? This morning… I woke up with absolutely no feeling in my right arm. This was an extreme case. I picked up my arm and let it drop and it dropped straight down with a thud. I rubbed it and I felt no sensation at all in my arm. I pinched it... again… I felt absolutely nothing. I was kinda nervous at this point because normally you can at least feel a tingling but I was feeling absolutely nothing… so… I grabbed a pin from the night stand and I jabbed into my arm… my wife screamed. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier [R) 2B Joe Mauer (L) 1B Max Kepler (L) RF Miguel Sano [R) DH Kurt Suzuki [R) C Robbie Grossman (S) LF Eduardo Escobar (S) SS Jorge Polanco (S) 3B Byron Buxton [R) Ervin Santana [R) P RAYS Logan Forsythe [R) 2B Kevin Kiermaier (L) CF Evan Longoria [R) 3B Brad Miller (L) DH Nick Franklin (S) 1B Corey Dickerson (L) LF Steven Souza [R) RF Tim Beckham [R) SS Luke Maile [R) C Blake Snell [R) P Game-time forecast: Who cares? It's indoors. Go Twins! Click here to view the article

That's it Dozier... Don't let the those OF's catch the ball... Take Charge!!!!

Yeah... I'm thinking Berrios or Polanco.

I gotta try and stay quiet on Kepler like I'm gonna stay quiet on Polanco. Both of those guys sat on the bench while the starters racked up loss after loss after loss. Now they are playing and... Well... I'm gonna try and stay quiet.

I'm kinda speechless now KEPLER

Just don't type "No-Hitter" that wouldn't be fair to Duffy.

I was so bugged by Polanco's lack of playing time during his first call up that I'm fighting all of my urges to be snarky about his two triples tonight. I'm just going to be classy and say... "Alright... Two Triples... Attaboy" And then leave it right there... Everyone ignore the part about me being bugged. Thanks.

Looks like Paul is gonna let Jorge play this go round. THANK GOD!!!

I think Vargas but I don't have the time to wait for the results.