Riverbrian

Yeah So you can't lick him.

Might be It was getting kind of hypnotic.

How did you know that I have one of those on right now?

I like that Sano is hitting 3 Vargas is hitting 6 Buxton is hitting 9 This makes it... for sure... that somebody will be up every inning that I really want to watch.

DOZIER

That reads like you are cheering for it

Our family as well. The kids always chose it... when we allowed them to... you know... have input. I didn't meet Tom Prince but while sitting on a bench waiting for the kids to finish getting wet... I did meet a guy from Indiana that owned about 30 Convenience Stores. I think his name was Tom. I remember this because I asked him how business was going and he then told me absolutely everything. I think he covered the profit margin on every single thing he sold from Gas to Twinkies and after it was all done... I realized I never got an answer to the original question so I can't say for sure if Business was good or not.

One of my favorite Rock stories was Steve Miller telling everyone that he made up the word Pompitous. A song from the 50's called the "The Letter" by the Medallions had the line "puppetutes of love" along with another unique word "Pizmotality" that Steve used in a different song so it was clear that Steve Miller was very aware of this song. Long story short... Steve Miller plagiarized a made up word and got it wrong and ended up making up a word. Love that Story

Yeah Sometimes... I'd like to shake her tree.

I still have 3 peaches left from the free ones I took home last week. I didn't really like the one that I had last week. I get a text from my wife. Eat those peaches or I will throw them away. Throwing them away would be the perfect ending to this story but here I am preparing one for my consumption. Women are powerful... don't let anyone tell you different.

Improvement is mine. All those players who will be with us in 2017... I just want them looking like they are going to knock people out and then actually knock people out in 2017.

I'm kinda pumped to watch baseball tonight. I hope that feeling lasts.

I researched it and Wall Drug came in at 83rd Most Popular. This is down from 6th a decade ago. According to reports... The decline was the result of tourists expecting something else and discovering that they sold fridge magnets primarily.

Nah... I read that word and I still have no idea what it means.

Nah... I typed the word and still don't understand what it means.

Some islands are connected on a human emotional level. I thought it was important to designate how the Hawaiian Islands were actually connected. Obtuse was also used by Arthur Carlson's son in a WKRP Episode

You can probably trade him and sign him as an FA. So unless Zuke is needed for a 2016 playoff run or the development of Berrios?

And so the 2nd half begins… Actually… it’s not exactly the 2nd half… the final 45 percent of 2016 begins tonight. For the players it’s a return from vacation and as most of you know… vacations can be refreshing and exactly what is needed to re-charge those batteries. This has to be a Twins advantage because only one Twins player was forced to work the All-Star game, and every other team in the American League had 12 players participating and unable to refresh themselves. Here are some things to think about: 1. Hawaii – Perhaps the top vacation destination in the world, Hawaii is actually hundreds of islands all connected by water. The most populated island is Oahu and it was named after the noise that people make when they are in mid-air while jumping into a pool, or a similar noise that people make in mid-air while jumping into a giant vat of creamed corn. It is a 10-hour flight from Minneapolis to Honolulu and a 15 year walk. 2. Wisconsin Dells – Perhaps the 2nd most popular vacation destination in the world is located in south-central-ish Wisconsin. Tourists come to ride the ducks and enjoy the spectacular scenery along the way. The Ducks of the Dells and actual ducks are hard to tell apart but there are a couple ways that you can differentiate them. The Dell Ducks have tires… actual ducks don’t. Actual ducks will eat snails, worms, grass and weeds and the Dell Ducks have tires. The Dell Ducks can float in water and actual ducks eat snails, worms, grass and leaves. Typically, actual ducks don’t allow people to ride them but this isn’t always the case so you really can’t use that as a method to tell them apart. 3. Elbow Lake – Perhaps the 3rd most popular vacation destination in the world is one of the many 10,000 (really 20,000) lakes located within our Minnesota borders. This lake is unique because it is made entirely of elbows. A couple years ago tourism was threatened because of a severe outbreak of psoriasis, and the crisis was managed effectively with a clever use of long sleeves. 4. Belarus – Perhaps the 4th most popular vacation destination in the world is this little land locked gem located in Eastern Europe. Tourists started arriving in droves to sample the national dish, Draniki, which is a potato pancake that is impossible to make anywhere else because of a shortage of pans. While visiting… tourists are entertained by watching live corruption performances from politicians who openly engage in bribery, extortion, embezzlement and gombeenism in front of sold out audiences. 5. Chief’s House – Nobody knows why but the sudden interest in vacationing at Chief’s House in Arizona has caught the attention of Conde Nast and Wal-Mart Travel. Tourists come to raise dehydration levels, practice roadrunner catching and participate in cactus puncture wound contests; and when worn out by these activities, take turns sitting in Chief's Ekornes lounger at which point he completes the experience by running out of his house yelling 'GET OFF MY LAWN!' The economy in the area is booming from this influx of tourism and also from workers moving to the area looking for employment in advance of the soon-to-be-constructed massive wall promised by Trump. _____________________ Lineups: INDIANS Carlos Santana (S) DH Jason Kipnis (L) 2B Francisco Lindor (S) SS Mike Napoli [R) 1B Jose Ramirez (S) 3B Lonnie Chisenhall (L) RF Yan Gomes [R) C Tyler Naquin (L) CF Rajai Davis [R) LF Carlos Carrasco (R] P TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R) SS Joe Mauer (L) 1B Miguel Sano [R) 3B Brian Dozier [R) 2B Max Kepler (L) RF Kennys Vargas (S) DH Robbie Grossman (S) LF Kurt Suzuki [R) C Byron Buxton [R) CF Ervin Santana (R] P Game-time forecast: 74 deg F, partly cloudy, 23% chance of rain, winds at 4mph from the WSW. Play ball! Go Twins! Click here to view the article

If I truly went back in time. Jepsen wouldn't have been my target. With or without hindsight. In all honestly... When I say that if I could go back in time... knowing what Jepsen would pitch like in 2016 and still make that trade. I'm saying it from the standpoint of specifically Jepsen because that was the player acquired and the standpoint of needing bullpen help badly in June and July while the team was leading everybody else in the wild card chase. If I could truly go back in time to June and July 2015.. I would have been hell bent on acquiring two better relievers and getting it done long before the deadline to help the team as soon as possible. It was very difficult to watch July go by with nothing being done. Once the Jepsen trade was made... I was happy something... anything got done but that happiness was mixed with a dose of being underwhelmed and pretty large dose of disappointment that it took so long to be underwhelmed. I was pleasantly surprised by his performance in 2015 but still knew in my heart of hearts that the overall ball was dropped. Then came the off-season... The same mistake again. Another chance to take a team that almost made the playoffs and support them with guys who can protect leads and another chance not taken.

Nick's point in the article is very interesting and something I hadn't thought about before. If you won't sign a reliever to a multi-year deal. Why indeed would you trade for it instead? You end up paying the money and giving up the talent. I'm not going to be able to wrap my arms around it now that I'm aware of it. As for the trade itself... If I could go back in time... And I knew how Jepsen would perform this year... I would still go back and make that trade. I don't care if the Twins were not supposed to be in contention last year... They were in contention... and when a team is in contention... Don't question it or even doubt it... Support it... Go for it... For a GM to not try in that context... is like an infielder not moving his feet to pick up a grounder with a two run lead in the 8th. We needed at least two solid bullpen arms when July started... waiting until July was almost over to acquire just one is not moving your feet. The GM did not have the back of his players when they needed it most last year. The month of July was when I started to doubt my prior support of Terry Ryan. This off-season was when that doubt started to harden and what has happened this year was all I needed to feel strongly that we need someone else making these decisions. The infielder who doesn't move his feet can be benched... the GM... not so much apparently.

One more series and Eduardo Nunez is off to the All-Star Game and everybody else on the team is not. Congrats to Nunez… his 1st half was certainly All-Star worthy. Yeah… someone from the Twins has to be on the All-Star team according to federal law; and yeah… maybe Carlos Correa is not going to the All-Star game because Nunez was the chosen token Twins All-Star. But when you look at the production… you gotta say that Nunez has All-Star type numbers and deserves the recognition for that. This ain’t a Ron Coomer circa 1999 Selection. Let’s do some thinking about stars… All Stars… Yes… all of them Here are some things to think about: 1. Norm Green – Norm Green and some other guys bought the Atlanta Flames and then moved them to Calgary. The NHL later requested that he sell his shares in the Flames and rescue the North Stars and he rescued them by moving them to Dallas 3 years later. This propensity to pack up and leave has given him incredible leverage with United Van Lines. Minnesota nice is a real thing and it’s because we naturally don’t hate… it’s a rather small list of things that Minnesotans truly hate. Mosquitos, No Liquor on Sundays, Scraping Ice off your Car Windows and Norm Green is the entire list. 2. Stars in the Sky – According to estimates, there are about 1 billion trillion stars in the observable universe. That’s from an assumed average of 100 billion stars per galaxy and an assumed count of 10 billion galaxies. Making estimates like these is a very painstaking chore… you have to count them one by one and not lose your place. It is incredibly annoying to get to 994,785,641,286 and then have your wife call to ask what time you are coming home for dinner and then lose your place so you have to start over. 3. The Sun – When it comes to life on Earth there is nothing more important than the sun. Without the sun… we couldn’t enjoy hamburgers, for example, because the grass won’t grow so the cows can’t eat. Without cows and plants and all that stuff… we’d go hungry and we couldn’t survive. Not only would we be dead… we’d also be sleepy and sad all the time because sunlight has the power to stimulate a gland in our brain that regulates our sleep cycle and sunlight is powerful enough to regulate our moods. Sleepy, sad and dead is no way to go through life. Without the sun… we’d have to grow fur because it would be really cold… like International Falls... all the time. Sleepy, sad, furry and dead is an even worse way to go through life. 4. Sally Struthers – I haven’t thought about any stars from Hollywood yet in the star context and it was time. Once you make that decision… you have to decide who the biggest star is and I decided to go into that process open-minded. I cleared my head of the previous 3 thoughts to clean the slate and asked myself… who is the biggest star in Hollywood? OK, go… Sally Struthers for some unexplainable reason popped into my head first. I know she isn’t Bradley Cooper or Selena Gomez or anyone like that but she was the first person to pop into my head and that’s how this works and I’m not changing it. 5. Kepler Space Observatory – Back in 2009 NASA sent this thing into space deep into the Milky Way for the purpose of discovering earth like planets that are orbiting stars. From its position in right field… the powerful Kepler telescope has confirmed that Sano and Vargas do indeed revolve around Mauer. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Eduardo Nunez® SS Joe Mauer(L) 1B Miguel Sano® 3B Brian Dozier® 2B Max Kepler(L) RF Robbie Grossman(S) DH Eddie Rosario(L) LF Kurt Suzuki® C Byron Buxton® CF Tyler Duffey [R) P RANGERS Shin-Soo Choo(L) RF Ian Desmond® CF Adrian Beltre® 3B Prince Fielder(L) DH Jurickson Profar(S) 1B Rougned Odor(L) 2B Elvis Andrus® SS Nomar Mazara(L) LF Robinson Chirinos® C Chi Chi Gonzalez [R) P Game-time forecast: 95 deg F (but feels like 101), clear and sunny, no chance of rain, winds at 18mph from the S. Yuck. I like warm weather, but playing baseball in it? Yuck. No. Go Twins! Click here to view the article

I want to go on record once again and say... That if Terry Ryan would have done exactly what I wanted him to do in the off season... This team would probably still be in bad shape. As strongly as I feel about anything... I really believe it's possible that I don't have enough information. I just want to make sure that everyone knows that I'm not down on Terry Ryan for not doing what I thought he should do instead. However... I also want everyone to know that I don't run a baseball organization for living and I don't have a scouting department staffed with professionals who feed me valuable information to filter through... I don't have numbers guys who feed me numbers to filter through. I don't have the time or the information to go over everything that needs to be gone over because I don't do this for a full time job. Terry Ryan has all of that... he is in charge of which advisers stay and which advisers go. Which advisers to listen to and which ones have to go the extra mile to prove their case. The decisions made this year have been wrong almost across the board. There are only 30 of these jobs in the entire world. I think Terry Ryan has been a loyal Twin and that makes him a teammate of mine as the teams biggest fan... but... bottom line. TIMES UP... 5 years is long enough. Too many wrong assessments to let him make another one. Bring in a VP of Baseball OPS to rank over his head immediately please. It pains me to type that but it's the only sensible solution.

If you are looking for something to do for your 4th of July, the Twins are hosting the A’s to kick off a 3 game series. The 4th of July is a celebration of our Independence and that means a day off to go be independent and independence will give you some time on your hands. And if you have time on your hands… Interesting stuff can happen... Terry Ryan has a little time on his hands to clean up a little and as a result… that ol’ Jepsen has been discarded. A new and improved Rosario has been planted in the LF corner, May is in the garage waiting and I hear that a large truck has been secured to bring in a Vargas real soon… maybe even a Berrios isn’t far away. Because that Berrios is starting to look good. Here are some things to think about: 1. Cleaning Day – 4th of July 2015… Last year I was living in Michigan by myself and my wife and family were back in North Dakota. We wanted to do something together but the distance made that difficult so my wife came up with the idea of making it a cleaning day for both of us and it would be like we were together. I didn’t have anything else planned… so why not? My wife put together a list: wipe down countertops, cabinets and stovetop… clean inside microwave… soak stove drip pans and knobs in sink… sweep and mop kitchen floor… remove everything from shower and tub… apply grout and tile cleaner… scrub shower walls and door… clean shower rack and soap dish… clean the shower track… scrub the sink… shine the faucets… wash the floor and replace all the rugs, mats and wastebaskets… organize sock drawers… wash all the blankets and pillowcases… pick up all clutter… dust and vacuum. I put together my own list... put my beer on a coaster and don’t drop jelly on the couch. 2. Catch of the Day – 4th of July 2014… My wife and I went out for supper. We walked in and the sign in the entrance with the specials said “Catch of the Day $8.00.” I’m usually disappointed to see a sign like that because it does nothing for me… I’m not a big fish guy. My wife loves fish… so she locked in on that “Catch of the Day.” She ended up disappointed when the waitress brought her a jar of fireflies. 3. Fireworks – 4th of July 2013… Our Neighbor purchased about $2,000 worth of fireworks. He got drunk and set them off all night long. I believe he finally passed out about 5AM because that’s when all the bang and sizzling sounds stopped. The next morning he is upset with ME because I woke him up when I was mowing my lawn at 10AM. I suppose I could have mowed around him but it would have left a strange outline in my grass. 4. Counting Calories – 4th of July 2012... As I was rolling out the grill… my wife informed me that today was the day that she was going to start counting calories. The food that she was now planning on eating had hardly any calories to count. I told her “it would be much more challenging to count all the calories that I’m having today.” 5. Birds and the Bees – 4th of July 2011… As part of the duties of a father… there comes a time when you must conduct… the "Birds and the Bees" talk. It’s necessary but as many of you know… it’s awfully uncomfortable. My dad finally decided to have that talk with me… it was odd timing because my wife and kids were impatiently waiting in the car. ____________________ Lineups: ATHLETICS Coco Crisp (S) LF Jed Lowrie (S) 2B Josh Reddick (L) RF Danny Valencia [R) 3B Khris Davis [R) DH Stephen Vogt (L) C Marcus Semien [R) SS Yonder Alonso (L) 1B Billy Burns (S) CF Kendall Graveman [R) P TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R) SS Joe Mauer (L) DH Miguel Sano [R) 3B Brian Dozier [R) 2B Kennys Vargas (S) 1B Max Kepler (L) RF Eddie Rosario (L) LF Juan Centeno (L) C Danny Santana (S) CF Ricky Nolasco [R) P Game-time forecast: 76-80 deg F, 39% cloudy, 54% humidity, 0% chance of rain, winds from the SSW at 11mph. Go Twins! Play ball! Click here to view the article