Riverbrian

True Stories Need to be Bracketed True Story -- Blah Blah Blah - True Story

Good Story

Max Kepler hit his first major league home run yesterday and in walk off style! A game-winner provided by someone that we hope and pray develops into a player that can help turn this franchise around eventually. It was a moment that may have prompted a phone call home… one of those “Guess what I did today?!?!” type calls, and those are the best calls to make back home. For Max Kepler… calling home is calling Germany. A little moment of joy for all of us starving for little moments of joy this season. As if Max said… “Over??? Nothing is over until we say it is!” In tribute… here some German things to think about: 1. Oktoberfest – This Bavarian celebration attended by millions annually is actually held in September. I assume it’s because Germans are basically impatient and just can’t wait until it's actually October, and they won’t change the name to Septemberfest because September doesn’t have that hard German “ach” sound that they are so fond of. You know… that “Ach” or “Ich” sound that makes Germans sound like they are always angry. You really don’t need an excuse to drink beer but if you want it in mass quantities and you want your Lowenbrau presented to you by pretty ladies wearing a dirndl… well... then you gotta wait for a celebration such as this. The beginning of Oktoberfest has been traced to a royal wedding held in 1810, so it is really a big wedding reception that hasn’t stopped; and this means that the DJ spinning “99 Luft Balloons” and “Rock You Like a Hurricane” while being paid by the hour… now has a net worth of $899 billion. 2. Einstein – Born in Germany… he was pretty smart guy. E=mc2 exists because of him. Energy equals Mass times the speed of light squared is perhaps the world’s most famous equation and it came from his genius mind after watching Herschel Walker at the University of Georgia. Later on… Einstein began exhaustive work with the principles of gravity after watching Herschel Walker with the Minnesota Vikings. His General Theory of Relativity is a pillar of modern physics and if it wasn’t for Einstein… my wife would have been the one to publish it. She never studied Einstein at all but she came up with the same conclusion on her own after she watched one of my dropped peanut M&M’s roll around a large circular dent in the couch cushion I was sitting on. 3. Ninety-Five Thesis – The Lutheran Church began in Wittenberg Germany. Martin Luther started the Protestant Reformation because he had specific points of contention with the teachings of Catholicism… 95 of them to be exact. Things like kneeling for long periods of time… there would be no more of that. No more confessions because Martin realized that people were just making stuff up anyway and keeping the juicy details to themselves. And… only Lutheran catchers needed to do the sign of the cross and only when calling out defensive plays with runners on third. 4. Ludwig Van Beethoven – Throughout his adult life… this German composer steadily lost his hearing until he was totally deaf in his 40’s. No one knew how he could compose so beautifully despite not being able to hear what he had written. In fact, perhaps his grandest work, his 9th Symphony, was composed when he was completely and totally deaf. The truth is that he never knew how to write music and he had simply taken up doodling. While some of us will doodle heavy line rectangles, block letters or hearts with arrows through them, Beethoven liked to draw ovals... sometimes filled in… sometimes not filled… sometimes with little flags on them... sometimes with no flags... and he put them all on a field of 5 horizontal lines. Bach and Brahms felt this was disingenuous and they asked Ludwig many times to stop doodling out of respect for the craft. Beethoven replied “WHAT?” while cupping his hand to his ear and continued to doodle his way in history. 5. The Autobahn – The highway system in Germany has no federally mandated speed limit and is one of two places where automobile speeds are allowed to surpass 100 miles per hour. The other place is the avenue that goes right by my house. Speeds are similar but cars that pass by my house by state law must blast rap music at over 200 decibels while the bass rattles the windows between the hours of 1AM and 5AM. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Eduardo Nunez® SS Robbie Grossman(S) LF Joe Mauer(L) 1B Trevor Plouffe® 3B Brian Dozier® 2B Byung-ho Park® DH Max Kepler(L) RF Kurt Suzuki® C Byron Buxton® CF Ricky Nolasco [R] P ANGELS Yunel Escobar® 3B Kole Calhoun(L) RF Mike Trout® DH Albert Pujols® 1B Johnny Giavotella® 2B Todd Cunningham(S) LF Gregorio Petit® SS Carlos Perez® C Shane Robinson® CF Jered Weaver [R] P Game-time forecast: Clear, sunny (until 8:03pm local time), 68 deg F, 2% chance of precipitation, winds from the WSW at 10mph. Go Twins! Click here to view the article

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Yes

One Rule is Cardinal and the other Rule is Oriole

Do we have any lakes that are Sky Blue?

I prefer Abracadabra

This Circus Boy Update was brought to you by White Castles... Slimy Tasty Little Burgers... I'll bet you can't eat just one.

I'mgonnahavetogivethispunctuationthingsomeseriousthoughtIhavenoideabecauseIhaveneverknownalotaboutcolon'sandthatofcoursetakesmedicaltraining...adegreeIbelieveiswhattheycallitYougottahaveadoctoratetounderstandtheproperuseofacolonandofcoursesurgerycanmakeitasemian18wheelerifyouwill.

That said the same thing. Sometimes I'll repeat things for emphasis. I read it twice and I'm still not sure how punctuation will save the life of the family and dog.

I realize that mail will get delivered to the wrong address on occasion. Is 55% a good success ratio?

I ;need...her!!! She =knows, where all that; punctuation stuff " goes?

The 1st round of the draft was held last night and the Twins stuck in their thumb and pulled out a player from Plum High School and said what a good boy am I. Alex Kirilloff was his name and the people who try to follow such things say he is another toolsy OF with power, speed, contact, arm strength and an ability to open his glove and close it at the correct times. It's like walking into that bar with all those draft choices and the bartender is staring at you waiting for you to decide what lever you want him to pull down. I won’t pretend to know if the Twins have chosen well or not because I made the decision to not drive the Dodge Dart to Pittsburgh to see him play for myself. But if I did… it would be hard for me to compare him against the other draft beer choices… I have no way of knowing. If I was given the choice… I wanted Dakota Hudson… I haven’t see him play, either, but I wanted him because Dakota and Hudson sound like Twins Territory names. That’s my method and I’m sticking with it. Last year I wanted a guy named Hibbing Mahnomen and that just didn’t happen. The Red Sox come to Town this weekend… Kirilloff will not be in uniform… gonna have to wait a bit for his MLB debut. Until then... here are some things to think about: 1. Draft Beer – Beer out of the keg is draft beer. Miller Genuine Draft is served in bottles and they call it Genuine Draft because it’s supposed to taste like it’s out of the keg. That’s Wisconsin for ya… only that state is drunk enough to call that 'genuine.' It just doesn’t seem like a genuine Genuine to me. 2. Draft Horse – A draft horse is a horse that pulls stuff. If it didn’t pull stuff it would be called a “horse that doesn’t pull stuff”. Draft horses are larger and stronger than a horse that doesn’t pull stuff but still smaller than Earl Campbell. A draft horse has never won the Kentucky Derby and they are insulted when the race track patrons yell out “Unhook the Plow” when they lag behind in a race. 3. Conscription – There have been moments in our history that our young men have been drafted into military service. Currently… there is no draft but young men are asked to register with the Selective Service a month before reaching their 18th birthday. This acts like a jack in the box because the draft can pop out rather quickly. As long as nobody turns that handle which produces the song “All around the mulberry bush... the monkey chased the weasel… the monkey thought twas all in fun..." Yes I realize that that song is stuck in your head now. "'Pop!' goes the weasel!" 4. The Overdraft – Our credit score is up around 8 million or something so I’ve never felt the pain of an overdraft. I do remember the disappointment a friend of mine had when he got an overdraft notice. I stopped by his place… and he was holding the notice in his hand and he said… “I don’t know what to do… that was all the money I had and I’m overdrawn by $20 according to this… My net worth is negative 20 dollars." I had his fridge open as he was speaking so I could take his last beer and I told him that he was worth more than that because this jar of olives and the half pack of bologna in his fridge was worth maybe a couple of bucks. 5. The 1st Draft – If you’ve ever wondered how these Game Thread openings get so strange... it’s simple… I don’t allow a 2nd draft. That way I have no chance to come to my senses. But I have an editor. She tries to make sense of it all so you can, too. I said, she tries. ____________________ Lineups: RED SOX Mookie Betts [R] RF Dustin Pedroia [R] 2B Xander Bogaerts [R] SS David Ortiz (L) DH Hanley Ramirez [R] 1B Jackie Bradley (L) CF Travis Shaw (L) 3B Chris Young [R] LF Christian Vazquez [R] C Steven Wright [R] P TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R] SS Robbie Grossman (S) LF Joe Mauer (L) DH Trevor Plouffe [R] 3B Brian Dozier [R] 2B Byung-ho Park [R] 1B Max Kepler (L) RF Kurt Suzuki [R] C Byron Buxton [R] CF Tyler Duffey [R] P Game-time forecast: 89 deg F, 46% chance of rain/thunderstorms, (although another source says it will be clear at gametime), winds at 9mph from the SW. Just for perspective, it's about 20 deg higher currently in Minneapolis than it is in Fort Myers. Hmm. Click here to view the article

I'm confused now I'm just going with Suzuki Kurt

You really have to pull hard to get the Jersey's On.

Oops Months are hard to keep track of

True Story I've been to New Orleans once and I hit Bourbon Street. Walked into the first bar I saw and got a drink and looked around thought it was boring so I grabbed my drink and tried to find someplace new. Heard a band playing a Doobie Brothers Tune "Long Train Running" from outside so I thought I'd go in and check them out. Walked in the door and was walking right in the front of the stage when they stopped and the lead singer says into the Microphone... You Guys Wish you Could Sing Like Me" and I shouted back... "I Can" and he didn't say a word... he jumped off the stage and gave me the mic and he took my drink out of my hand and sat down and the band broke into Born to be Wild like this was just a normal thing... I had no idea this was going to happen so it wasn't normal to me but I got up on stage and sang it anyway. Song ended I got off and handed him the mic back... He doesn't say a word... he gets back on stage and says... "OK... He Can but nobody else here can". I Laughed at that and I looked around for my drink and the guy drained it... Just an empty glass. It was an odd moment that could only happen to me... I'm on Bourbon Street for maybe 5 minutes and Boom... On stage. True Story

Brilliant once again

I gotta do it MANTONLER OK.. I've done it and moving on.

I couldn't help thinking of this

It would be a miracle if your parents played for the Miracle... and therefore I fully support them playing for the Miracle.