Riverbrian

It's better for us... if you don't understand

It was Tampa over the weekend and it's Miami tonight as the state of Minnesota gets visited by the state of Florida. This is unique because typically it is Minnesotans who snowbird their way to Florida for warmer climes. Floridians don’t come to Minnesota unless they are kidnapped, bound, gagged and stuffed into a trunk of a car traveling to Minnesota. The kidnapped, bound, gagged and stuffed into a trunk of a car part is a regular occurrence in Florida but the car actually traveling to Minnesota is something that just doesn’t usually happen. The 2016 Minnesota Twins are lot like Florida… surrounded by alligators with sharp teeth and strong jaws that clamp on and do that spin thing that they do. Let’s watch them spin 'round and 'round while thinking about some Things to Think About:1. Old People – Florida has a lot of old people living in the state. Low taxes, warm weather, effective marketing, available real estate and a herd mentality has brought senior citizens down to Florida from all over the place to retire. Yes… Old People have a herd mentality that bands them together. They are genetically programmed to cluster together due to an unstoppable primal force of nature. When they are under attack from predators… they defend themselves like sardines… forming a tight ball while the dolphins and seagulls swoop in and promise them lower prescription drug prices and Medicare. They get picked off one by one on the edges but the core in the middle of the ball remain strong. After they are done feeding… the predators go back to Washington. 2. The Fountain of Youth – Ponce De Leon landed on the shores nearby St. Augustine in 1513. He mistakenly thought he had landed on an island but was corrected when more land was found to the North by a guy named George who was just wandering around drunk on rum. This new island that wasn’t really an island that was discovered by Ponce and Captain Jon Baker was named “Florida” which means “Mother of J.J. Evans.” The locals would tell them stories of nearby waters so restorative that those who drank or bathed in the waters were forever young. The Fountain of Youth does exist… Don Johnson is the only one who knows the location and he isn’t telling anyone. 3. Warm Water – Because of the Gulf Stream and other factors… water temperatures around Florida are typically around 10 thousand degrees and this provides the perfect environment for the growth of Hurricanes and Manatees. In Minnesota… the temperature of the water in our 10 thousand lakes is typically around 45 Below and this provides the perfect environment for the growth of hot dish and fur. 4. Oranges – Florida is famous for production of the orange because the state gets plenty of sunshine and plenty of rainfall. Farmers were spoiled because this allowed them to grow all kinds of things unhindered by agriculturally destructive elements such as the cold and those Zamboni’s that routinely drive over crops in Canada. With all the sun and rain… farmers were able to grow unique things like palm trees and olives which led to Florida becoming the top producer of dish soap. One day an inventive farmer mixed together red and yellow and the rest is history… the orange was created. 5. Introducing the Ocean – Many years ago… I planned a Riverbrian family road trip down to Disney World in Orlando. My sons were young then… perhaps 10 and 6... and they had never seen the ocean before. So I put that on the itinerary because I wanted to give them these types of experiences to broaden their young horizons. They didn’t know that they hadn’t been to the ocean before because we had been to Lake of the Woods and that was big enough, so I told them it was the ocean and they believed me. As we rolled out of Orlando and headed east… I was so excited for them. I could see them playing in the surf… laughing and smiling… trying to jump into the waves and drinking salt water… it was going to be awesome. We pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car and that’s when my wife started to smear about 20 tubes of sunscreen on them. As you know this process takes about 3 days to complete and while the boys were standing there getting gooped up by Mom, my youngest was attacked by ants. Tons of them… crawling up and down his legs and biting him repeatedly and he was in extreme pain. Once you realize what is going on… you do what any parent would do… both my wife and I immediately started beating on his legs excessively in an effort to get the ants off of him. Let’s just say… if you are observing this from a distance… you probably won’t see the ants. ____________________ Lineups: MARLINS Ichiro Suzuki (L) LF Martin Prado[R] 3B Christian Yelich (L) DH Giancarlo Stanton [R] RF Marcell Ozuna [R] CF J.T. Realmuto [R] C Chris Johnson [R] 1B Derek Dietrich (L) 2B Adeiny Hechavarria [R] SS Adam Conley (L) P TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R] SS Robbie Grossman (S) LF Joe Mauer (L) 1B Trevor Plouffe [R] 3B Brian Dozier [R] 2B Byung-ho Park [R] DH Max Kepler (L) RF Kurt Suzuki [R] C Byron Buxton [R] CF Pat Dean (L) P Game-time forecast: Overcast, but only a 1% chance of rain; winds at 4mph from the NW. Go Twins! Click here to view the article

Here's another smaller thing to ponder: Omar Infante is owed 16 million on his current contract. He is currently hitting .239 with no dingers and his butt has been placed on the bench. Higher expectations and a willingness to eat some cash could be considered differences.

I love this quote from Dayton Moore "It's not as simple as saying, 'This is what's going to happen in Year 1 and Year 2.' That's bull. If you make enough good decisions, three-year plans turn into two-year plans and five-year plans turn into three-year plans. If you make bad decisions, 10-year plans turn into no plan."

True but that's also not that simple. Cain wasn't Cain yet. He was a light hitting defensive guy at the time of the trade and they also had Francour and Lough manning RF so OF wasn't exactly blocking Myers. Also... Let me amend my earlier question and phrase it better... like I intended. Would you want Terry Ryan? Trading Buxton, Meyer and Gonsalves for what he felt was a Shields type starter.

The Royals... like the Twins tried to build without spending gobs of cash. Dayton Moore managed to keep his job after years of struggling like Terry Ryan. After that... I don't see many things that are comparable. I remember reading reports that Dayton was out of lengthy rope when he abruptly changed course and put it all on red with the Myers, Odorizzi and Montgomery deal for Shields. Let's not forget about Montgomery he was pretty nice prospect as well. Dayton had to produce a winner or he was gone and I assume this caused him to part with lots of prospects for someone to sit on top of the rotation... actually to fill out his terrible rotation. The Fans hated the move and they probably hated Dayton Moore and the trade probably required a stronger adjective than hate toward Dayton Moore. If the Royals didn't win after the deal... Not only would he be fired but restaurants would refuse service when he tried to order some burnt ends. "Give up Wil Myers did ya... Get out of here". It was desperation that caused him to finally risk it all and when he did... he completely broke away from any Terry Ryan model. He may have declared that he was following the Twins model but it didn't bring him home. As for Wade Davis... In my opinion... he got really lucky but hey... that happens sometimes and he does get credit for that luck because he has a history of turning failed starters into bullpen assets. Hochevar and Duffy for example. Wade Davis was really young (23 and 24 years old) but very average his first two years as a starter for the Rays. In his third year with the Rays at age 25... He was moved to the bullpen... He didn't get a single start that year. No Saves and only 6 holds so lower leverage stuff but his K/9 jumped from 5.14 as starter to 11.13 in the Rays pen. Dayton Moore... I'm just guessing... probably agrees to Wade Davis because Tampa had no idea what they had (neither did Moore I'm guessing) and KC was desperate for starting pitching and his job is on the line. Jeremy Guthrie and Bruce Chen were all they had!!! So Dayton acquires Ervin Santana in an earlier deal and later pulls the trigger on the Shields/Davis Trade to complete the rotation. Dayton's plan went wrong because Davis started 24 games and produced a 5.32 ERA and he was Phil Hughes'd into the bullpen and then the magic happened. Think about this: If this is truly trading places... Terry Ryan just might be in that same desperate to keep your job situation that caused Dayton to trade Wil Myers and Jake Odorizzi and Mike Montgomery. Buxton... Meyer and Gonsalves for who? That would be a comparable trade to what Moore did with his back against the wall. Does anyone want Terry Ryan to make that trade for a Shields type starter?

I don't know... A hundred sounds like a lot... Schulz would have needed time to produce that many.

I wish I knew how to put your "Arghhhh" in a cartoon bubble http://i.stack.imgur.com/QSFeU.png

LOL In the context of our discussion. I'm the guy in the suit... You are the Furry thing.

It's not the quantity It's the quality.

Turning Japanese Movements 1 through 12 in G Major.

Post of the Night

It ain't the kind of place that I would raise my kids. It's actually cold as hell.

I just got back

OK but it's going to be hard to fit on the those little title strips in the jukebox. http://www.cdadapter.com/images/wrfplay.jpg

How would you know? Do ya track that type of stuff for a living or something? I've never typed anything inaccurate!!! The sentence directly above is actually inaccurate!!!

Nope... They make the candidates spell Valedictorian and he went with Valley Dick Orient on the form and was disqualified. I was proud that he got the three mistaken words correct.

A pressure washer will not be purchased because it would be used as a weapon against me. It's only a matter of time before I'm payed back ten fold for all the times that I threw cold water over the shower door on them. In order to avoid this retaliation... I've avoided the purchase of pressure washers... There are also no garden hoses at my place and I had the city remove the fire hydrant from our yard just to be safe... and... and... I stopped paying the water bill.

You should go and do something memorable. Like... Umm... Show up naked.

I believe that was Eddie Rosario.

Yeah... it shocked me as well. I'm hoping that my grandchildren will have a GPA of 17.0. Yeah... Mom was the one who pushed heads firmly so the nose touched the grindstone. My job was to tell them why I thought their noses pressed against the grindstone was funny.

It is graduation time and graduation is on my mind. My youngest son is officially done with High School as of Tuesday and we now await the ceremony on Saturday. He slept in until noon yesterday and I assume he will do the same today. I’m typing quietly so I don’t wake him because I’m going to respect his right to do that because he’s earned it with a GPA above 4.0 while holding down a 30-plus hour a week job. When I was his age… I used to sleep in until 3PM and that was on school days. Both of my sons are better than me and I couldn’t be happier because that’s the way it’s supposed to happen. As Twins fans… We are still waiting for graduations to occur that lead to a better class of players. Perhaps the recent call ups of Buxton and Kepler can lead to one or two around the immediate corner. Terry Ryan may be looking for experience to turn things around in the extreme short term. To me it’s pretty clear… the Twins will turn things around when the size of the graduation class increases. It’s up to those guys on the farm to graduate into better MLB players than those before them… just to spark something… anything. Here are some things to think about: 1. Pomp and Circumstance – The traditional song played at graduations is just a smaller piece from a larger composition called “March No. 1 in D Major” written in 1901. I think it’s strange that a section of the song got a memorable title “Pomp and Circumstance” while the original composition it’s from is unimaginably called “March No.1 in D Major”. Titles are important… "Stairway to Heaven" wouldn’t have been nearly as popular if it was called “Stolen Riff in A Minor.” 2. Sheepskins – Diplomas are called Sheepskins because paper was fragile and this made them poor keepsakes. Parchment is made of animal skin and because of its durability… diplomas were printed on it and thus referred to as a Sheepskin. For sheep this can be very traumatic. We take their wool and make clothing. Then we take their skin and make parchment paper for diplomas; and something to serve burnt ends on. The Greeks come along and take the rest and put it on a vertical rotisserie. 3. Throwing your cap in the air -- It was the Navy that came up with this tradition back in 1912. They got new officer hats when they graduated so the old midshipmen hats were no longer necessary and they tossed them into the air in celebration. That’s how it started and it has obviously spread. Although the incidents are rare… the practice does contain an element of danger. Graduates have needed stitches when being struck in the noggin by the square cornered mortarboard. One graduate was blinded after getting hit in the eye and it’s also dangerous for birds who attempt to eat the hats lying on the ground. 4. The Tassel Turn – The tassel turn symbolizes the turn from candidate to graduate. The tassel starts on the right side and is turned to the left. This makes them Democrats until they discover that they like guns. 5. Graduation Party – It’s a time of celebration and should only be considered good times… so a party must be thrown. However… this causes stress as you ready your place for guests. I normally don’t have a problem with that spider web that can’t be reached in the upper corner of the garage but with food being served and people dropping by… that spider web must come down and the walls must be washed and the oil spots must be scrubbed. In hindsight… it was probably wrong of me… in my frustration of the job at hand… to blame it on my son for graduating and therefore making me do this. -------------------- Lineups: RAYS Brandon Guyer(R ) RF Brad Miller(L) SS Evan Longoria(R ) 3B Logan Morrison(L) 1B Steven Souza(R ) DH Corey Dickerson(L) LF Mikie Mahtook(R ) CF Taylor Motter(R ) 2B Curt Casali(R ) C Matt Moore(L) P TWINS Eduardo Nunez(R ) SS Joe Mauer(L) 1B Brian Dozier(R ) 2B Trevor Plouffe(R ) 3B Robbie Grossman(S) LF Byung-ho Park(R ) DH Max Kepler(L) RF Kurt Suzuki(R ) C Byron Buxton(R ) CF Phil Hughes(R ) P (Gibson will not be activated today due to a back stiffness, and Phil Hughes will be making a 'spot start.') Game-time forecast: 72 deg F, clear, sunny while the sun is still up (until 8:53pm), winds at 5mph from the W. Go Twins! Click here to view the article