LaBombo

He's also nearly a decade younger than Wilson.

'Pinch runner, pinch runner, pinch runner!'

36 year old Jason Hammel's ERA's, 2016-2018: 3.83, 5.29, 6.09.

Watch this train goin' down the track... http://images.45cat.com/led-zeppelin-living-loving-maid-1970-2.jpg Caution: derailment zone ahead.

Don't want to get too sappy on you guys, but it means a lot to me that you've all been here in the game thread over the past few weeks, sharing with me the mutual delusion that the Twins' season did NOT officially end one month ago today when Twins.com published this brilliantly Onion-esque headline: "Tired of his helmet falling off, Twins’ Miguel Sano cuts his hair"

No Joey Gallo in Fangraphs. Are you sure you weren't thinking of Joey Callow?

Lincoln receives confirmation from Union generals at the front...

And the Twins take the lead! Against a team that's... given up over 200 more runs than it's scored...

Whoa whoa whoa... two consecutive out of seven, sunshine. Let's not leave a wasted drop of milk in that cow.

"The world needs 4th starters too, J.O.!"

Subjectively it seemed as if the Twins were looking a little more animated and enthusiastic tonight, and then I realized it was just that my daughter had changed the channel to a delightful Pixar comedy.

As many walks in 24 innings in August as he had in 68 April and May innings combined. So... there's that. Originally typed '24 August innings', but had to change it, because... they weren't.

The philosophy going into 2018 seemed to be 'We were pretty good in 2017 and our young core is improving, so let's add some veteran talent on short-term deals and go win our lame division!' It sounded like a good plan, and it probably was. By July the plan was shattered, and the Twins devolved into a bipolar cruise ship. On the bow there was a reasonably orderly abandon ship drill taking place, with Dozier, Esco, Pressley and Co. going over the side. Meanwhile on the stern, seniors like Belisle and Wilson continued to putter along on the shuffleboard court as if nothing were wrong. And in the middle of it all, the crew of the S.S Twins wandered around assuring everyone that the cruise line was handling it and everything would be fine. To be honest, I've not really the foggiest idea where the TwIns are getting it wrong. But I'm fairly certain of where they're NOT getting it wrong: 1. They're not playing in either a market or a stadium that dooms them to bottom-five revenue like the teams mentioned at the top of the article. 2. They're not being grossly mismanaged by a chronic incompetent on the field. 3. They've had injury issues, but it's not like the frigging team charter went Marshall on them, either. What's that leave? Ownership isn't allowing the needed payroll, the front office may be struggling to acquire talent, their on-field staff throughout the organization is failing to develop it, or it's a combination. In spite of that, Molitor will be jettisoned before Falvine. They'll get another year at minimum to sort things out, and I wish them well. They still seem like sharp guys, and maybe they'll get the cruise ship righted. On the other hand, while the Twins are 'only' 12 below .500 and 'just' a -70 run differential, they're playing in the worst division in baseball. Against AL teams with winning records, the Twins are sporting a .375 win pct., which would work out to a 100 loss season. In other words, even with Buxton and Sano healthy and back on track, there's a metric **** ton of work to be done.

For Republicans looking to distance themselves from Trump, there's probably a fair amount of middle ground available to them between disowning his Twitter belches and hauling him out of office. Not closing ranks to support a marginal nominee, letting some of his favorite legislation languish in committee, even widespread mutiny on a policy issue or two... they all fall well short of even just acknowledging the legitimacy of a case for impeachment, yet also send a much stronger message than kicking a little more sand on a tweet that's already been drawn and quartered in the media.

Maybe you're assuming this is obvious and if so, my apologies, but I'll throw it out there... Without getting into the odds of there actually being dirt, let's assume that there is, and Manafort has either been holding on to something juicy about Pence as a bargaining chip, or at least intimates that he has something. Then my question would be this: is there a bigger potential headache for Democrats in front of the midterms than even the appearance that they might believe that Pence's vice-presidency may be vulnerable?

For fellow Simpsons fans who, like me, felt a strange sense of deja vu while watching Astudillo round third last night, here's one possible explanation of where it came from...

I would be if I had ever gotten around to buying the notion that .850 was for real. And no, I'm not boasting of prescience, I'm confessing to procrastination.

Next time when it's late and close, I want Astudillo pinch running on third with the bases loaded. What catcher in their right mind would be looking for the throw with Stu barreling down the third base line?

Agreed; he almost certainly was beginning to fire the retro rockets before he crossed the plate, as indicated by the backstop not sporting an Astudillo-shaped hole after the play. But be it force or momentum, the a or the v is only half of the product, and Stu is bringing a whole lotta m to the party. And beyond the science of Stu pulling into the pier, there's the issue of man's innate primal fear of being crushed by a heavy, rolling object, which is what caused you to inadvertently flinch the first time you saw this scene: On a less off topic-y note, Astudillo is a little bit of a good news-bad news guy for me. The better he plays in September, the more likely it is that we've found a ball player at a thin position, which is great, and also extremely entertaining. But the better he looks, the more evidence there is that the Twins have a serious flaw in their process for determining which players to put on the roster and on the field.

If it's any consolation, this one may fall under the category of 'no harm, no foul, as a veterinarian friend of mine has reassured me that tortoises are generally not Twitter users.

Catcher? Pfft. If I'm the home plate umpire when Stu chugs around third and heads for home, then he reports the outcome of the play at the plate to me afterwards at my safe vantage point in the fifth row. Honor system, like when farmers used to sell sweet corn by the sack and put out a coffee can to leave a dollar.

Oh, great, now my mouth is watering and I've already brushed my teeth... Is a random craving brought on by a Twins win over the Yankees what the kids used to call a 'first world problem' back in the 'aught's?

The pointed use of the word 'colleague' in place of 'friend' does not pass unnoticed...

Oh, good, there's a man on for G. Stanton. Had been worried there wouldn't be drama without the FRE, but need not have.

So that's two different, current Twins pitchers? Six consecutive innings? I'm just trying to process this, and it's slow going.