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It Ain't Over Til . . . Wait, the REDS?


Axel Kohagen

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Once, many of us still believed in a magical NORTH POLE where SANTA CLAUS makes everything all better (perhaps more of you would still believe if it wasn't for a terrible lie your parents told you to benefit BIG ELFING). Sadly, childhood may be the last time the lot of us all believed in a magical place ON EARTH! We Iowans once tried to pull some flim-flammary to convince you Iowa was heaven, FOOLED YOU, MINNESOTA!

 

Some people still find it in themselves to believe in heaven on the planet. Every day they go to work - JUST LIKE YOU - but inside they harbor daydreams about SHANGRI-LA or EL DORADO or SCOOTER THOMPSON'S ELEPHANT EAR HUT. Lots of people believe in the lost city of Atlantis, but remain much LESS ENTHUSIASTIC about the MISPLACED TOWNSHIP OF WOOOO-PACKERS, WISCONSIN.

 

However, on this day while the Twins have actually won a game, does anyone still believe in the MAGICAL LAND OF THE MINNESOTA TWINS WORLD CHAMPIONS? If so, how have you held on through the DARK NIGHTS OF SUFFERING? I write "nights" quite purposefully, for it seems this band of baseball brothers really enjoys clenching it all up so they can POO the BED in the later innings.

 

Does your loss of faith come tied to a blown lead or another damn strike-out? Do you remember the name "DAVID HALE" and wonder who he was, or where he went to, or whether or not any of this matters because we are all dust in the wind?

 

Or are you a little OUT THERE like me? Is your heart dialed in to that RAINBOW CONNECTION that has Minnie and Paul shaking hands over the WORLD SERIES TROPHY, being held by a giant JOE MAUER bobblehead? Do you cheer for the Twins when it ain't over, it's just HIGHLY MATHEMATICALLY IMPROBABLE?

 

It's a bit DARING to share UNBRIDLED HOPE when your team's playing like TEN TONS OF BUTT in a 5 POUND BAG that was not EXPLICITLY CREATED FOR THE TRANSPORT OF BUTT AND BUTT RELATED PRODUCTS. But summer's always better when you can believe.

 

And Atlantis? Great location for catching walleye.

 

-- Get me a banjo and lillypad,

 

Axel Kohagen

 

(For more wisdom, check out my podcast at http://www.supertruestories.com/)

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There are very few Minnesotans who believe that one of our major sports teams (Lynx excluded) will win anything more significant than a Participation Trophy. Those that do also likely still believe in Santa, The Easter Bunny, and Happy Endings. While these people are rare and pose no significant risk to the community in general, they are still being monitored closely by local authorities. :)

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I expect the team to fail to win the world series, as 31 of 32 teams do each year. 

 

But I also expect them to win it all ...someday! 

 

Sure, their odds of going to the playoffs this year took a hit -- but far from a fatal one.  Even in this season of woe, I am not convinced they are a bad team. 

 

Lynn and Lomo missed spring training; they'll be back. 

 

Buxton, Sano, Santana, and Polanco -- four key players from last year's surprise team -- will all be back. 

 

Hughes is out of the rotation, and Romero is in. 

 

Max Kepler is hitting left-handers. 

 

The Eds are hitting everything.

 

Gonsalves is knocking at the door. 

 

The team is on a three-game winning streak.  The Indians are losing. 

 

Things are looking up!

 

(Cue wailing and teeth-gnashing next time they lose two games in a row...)

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