(Note - it is my hope that we are far enough past the CIRCLE ME BERT CANCELLATION NIGHTMARE that I may impart some TRUTHFUL TRUTHS. If my voice is silenced suddenly, please leave a stick figure drawing of TC Bear in a City Pages on the big glove sculpture. My people will understand.)

Roswell, NM.

An alien spacecraft crashes in the desert. The cover-up begins immediately. Some say it was a WEATHER BALLOON or an EXPERIMENTAL AIRCRAFT. A few even think the whole incident was an ELABORATE DECEPTION from the mind of BILL VEECK!

From the wreckage, a small, spherical object rolled free. Some say that object was a baseball. It moved quickly and avoided detection for around TEN YEARS. A small boy reached out to touch it. Within moments, his arm began to GLOW. Years later, the boy became a man named BB. His otherworldly curveball made him a LEGEND.

When B transitioned to announcing, he wanted to make contact with the aliens whose ENERGIES he encountered as a small boy. In a meeting with his PRODUCTION STAFF and CERTAIN AQUATIC FISHMEN WHO MAINTAIN AN INTEREST IN EARTHEN TECHNOLOGIES, B created a program to place a symbol of the UFO WHO BROUGHT HIS POWERS on the broadcast.

The UFO from underneath.

THE CIRCLE OF BERT!

Why was this NEARLY CANCELLED? There are things I simply CANNOT REVEAL, but an occasional visitor to the stadium has his own relationship to the UFOs, and he has some pretty BIGFEET.

There's not much else I can reveal, except that I have it on GOOD AUTHORITY the aquatic fishmen are not happy with the last ten years or so of Mariners Baseball.

The Truth Is Not Here,

-- Axel Kohagen