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ashbury

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Everything posted by ashbury

  1. ashbury
    It's been attributed to the Buddha and variously to others: "Do not speak unless you can improve the silence." / This, coming from one of the worse offenders at TD
  2. ashbury
    Indeed. Come back often, and straighten us out.
  3. ashbury
    "Fat, cheap and racist is no way to go through life, son." / The original quote includes "drunk" which of course wasn't exactly unknown to Cal either. In fact I think he or his minions tried to explain the Waseca incident that way, as though it helped.
  4. ashbury
    Someone needs to update the Hipster Slowey site and the second installment to make him South Beach Kevin. / Note well: I was into Hipster Slowey a long time before it was cool.
  5. ashbury
    Add in Dozier's .161 and you have a very respectable .379.
  6. ashbury
    Nice read. Keep 'em coming.
  7. ashbury
    Brock, why did you infer anyone meant lazy from laissez-faire? I went back and looked again, and still don't pick that up.
  8. ashbury
    Conversely what is the harm? Once he's on the 40-man, you have to burn an option each year to keep him off the major league roster, so bringing him up and sending him down doesn't affect that. And his actual major league service time only accrues while he is up. Unless the plan was to not bring him up at all this season, or only for September, the arbitration clock should not be affected very much.
  9. ashbury
    Judgement call, as I was recycling a very old sports joke, but I took it down shortly after you commented. If it hurt your eyes so much, you'd probably edit or remove your own response now.
  10. ashbury
    Hicks also went after the first pitch on a couple of occasions today - bunted once (foul), swung once (missed). Also took two first-pitches for a ball, so it's not like he was automatically lunging at everything. I dunno, at this point I'd be inclined to put him out of his misery and send him to Rochester, but I keep hoping one more game and he breaks through.
  11. ashbury
    What is the elusive "consistency" teams are looking for? Just in terms of results, Hendriks had a very bad first game, and improved in the second. If you didn't like the results of the first game, just send him down; if he does better his second time out, does lack of consistency mean he didn't stink twice, and that's what they were looking for?
  12. ashbury
    I'll take the under, but will not bet my house.
  13. ashbury
    I like the pinch-hitting move putting Escobar in for Mauer. Had the game gone to extra innings, Escobar as the emergency catcher could have stepped right in without wasting another bench player. Fun with numbers: Aaron Hicks has 50% more runs than hits in his major league career.
  14. ashbury
    Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm. Q:What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A: "Now pitching, Vance Worley." What's 6'2", 230 pounds, and has a great ERA? Vance Worley, I lied about the ERA. What did the Devil say to the lawyer? "At least neither of us is Vance Worley." I'm gone, g'night. Leaving the avatar up in case it brings any cheer.
  15. ashbury
    Worley with the bad start, Trevor with an error, Florimon with an error... for those of you keeping score at home, that's WTF.
  16. ashbury
    Two cowboys are out on the range, when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He rides twenty miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says, "but here's what you do. Take a knife and cut the wound, and remove the poison with your mouth." "I ain't doin' *that*,"the cowpoke protested. "Take Vanimal with you," the sawbones says, "he sucks". Vanimal then proceeds to give up 9 runs in 1 inning, and the wounded cowboy is saved.
  17. ashbury
    To lay an egg at Target Field. A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy pulls his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar. "Pitch for Worley," he tells her.
  18. ashbury
    Guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?" "Worley, and he's about to jump!" the dog replies.
  19. ashbury
    Must be some kind of relativistic effect like the Lorentz Contraction, caused by slower-than-bat travel. Not to be confused with the 2002 Minnesota Twins Contraction.
  20. ashbury
    When you cover all nine squares do you start a new sheet?
  21. ashbury
    Vanimalsie was kind of a joke tonight.
  22. ashbury
    Cyanide for my heroin, please.
  23. ashbury
    Wonder if the skills with the pitching wedge translate.
  24. ashbury
    Awright, another run in and the bases loaded, this Hrbek avatar isn't getting the job done. I'm bringing in the lefty in long-relief. Tried her as a starter and as a closer, maybe this is the role she's suited for. / lefty, as in left shoulder tan-line
  25. ashbury
    Five runs against in the first inning. When's the last time that happened? / oh wait, last Tuesday
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