Riverbrian

If you have ever listened to the MLB network on satellite radio, you already know everything you need to know about the Yankees. The Cubs may be the greatest story in baseball this year but they are still a distant second to the amount of time spent discussing the pinstripes. If it’s a winning year… the callers line up to talk about how great the Yankees are. If it’s a losing year… the caller’s line up to discuss things to shove up Cashman’s… umm… let’s go with nostril. This year… the Yankees are hovering around .500 and the callers line up to talk about the trade deadline maneuvers that must be done to make the team go one direction or the other because they will not stand for any of this "being in the middle" business. They won’t sing any Jimmy Eat World in New York… there will be no “It just takes some time” or “Everything, Everything will be all right." New Yorkers want results NOW!!! In Minnesota… being in the middle sounds nice and cozy. Here are some things to think about: 1. Jan Brady – Poor Jan had some serious issues as the middle child. Younger sister Cindy had curls and that lisp that required extensive attention with speech therapists so she could be understood; and older sister Marcia was a close personal friend of Davy Jones and didn’t need braces. This caused severe jealousy issues and constant fits of rage for attention. It also didn’t help that Florence Henderson addressed her as “Hey You” or “Whatsherface.” There were a lot of issues in that house. Forcing Alice to wear that light blue maid uniform constantly was a clear attempt to keep Alice in her rightful place. Having 6 kids crammed into two bedrooms and one bathroom between them was clearly the work of an architect that just didn’t care anymore. 2. Middle Finger – The origin of extending this finger to show your displeasure did not come from New York City but they are well practiced with it. New Yorkers will display the digit so often that they have developed acute painful carpal tunnel from repetitive flicking; and in severe cases… their hands have become irrevocably deformed and they are now unable to pick up small objects. The origin actually started in medieval times. French warriors would cut off the middle fingers of British archers since it was the finger that was used to draw back the bow. The replacement archers started to display their middle finger to defiantly show the French that they were able to fire and then did. This backfired on the English because the gesture served as sufficient warning that arrows were coming and they simply moved to the left. 3. Stealers Wheel – Gerry Rafferty attended a music industry party. The conversations and events of the evening were so excruciating that he was inspired to write the line “Clowns to the left of me… Jokers to the right… Here I am… Stuck in the Middle with You.” I’ve been to a few of these and they haven’t changed over the years; and you spend the night half-listening to conversations while thinking up plausible excuses to leave. I was able to escape one of these events by using the excuse that I had to leave the party and its distractions so I could focus my mind in order to come up with a decent excuse to leave. 4. The Middle Ages – The period of time from the 5th Century to the 15th Century is what we call the “Middle Ages.” Statisticians, through exhaustive research, have recently concluded that this may be a misnomer because Cro-Magnon Man built the first Wal-Mart in 30,000 B.C. 5. The Story Arc – The Middle is very important to the structure and flow of the story. Writers have a strict formula that they follow that is referred to as a Story Arc. A beginning that shows the world before it changes… an inciting incident that compels the hero to action... the middle or mid-point that is very important because that is where the tables turn... the back half of the story that is usually the antagonist looking like he is going to win... which leads to the climax that is the deciding battle between the hero and the villain and finally… “The End” which is usually a big graphic in a unique font that says “The End." It should be obvious to all that our General Manager Terry Ryan does not follow this Arc when building the Twins because our hero is still looking out his office window waiting for the inciting incident to force him into action. It should also be obvious to all that I do not follow this established arc when I write because that would require actual thought and this is how it ends… THE END ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R) 3B Robbie Grossman (S) LF Joe Mauer (L) 1B Brian Dozier [R) 2B Max Kepler (L) RF Eduardo Escobar (S) SS Byung-ho Park [R) DH Kurt Suzuki [R) C Byron Buxton [R) CF Tommy Milone (L) P YANKEES Brett Gardner (L) LF Rob Refsnyder [R) 1B Carlos Beltran (S) RF Alex Rodriguez [R) DH Starlin Castro [R) 2B Chase Headley (S) 3B Didi Gregorius (L) SS Aaron Hicks (S) CF Austin Romine [R) C Masahiro Tanaka [R] P Game-time forecast: clear, sunny 76 deg F, no rain in sight, winds at 9mph from the SE. Let's go, Twins! Beat those damn Yankees! Click here to view the article

I have no defense of Arcia defense. I hope you didn't think I was actually trying.

Considering that OF play is filled to the brim with routine plays. I'd answer that question with No. Arcia has probably missed about 3 balls this year on plays that would be made the majority of time. That isn't good but you can absorb that as long as you don't have another guy like that. We got one who is even worse in Sano.

I'm with you I've waited patiently over the years and told myself and others. Let the Man do his Job. I Can't do that anymore the mistakes are just too large and plentiful. You expressed my thoughts perfectly. Everyone knew he was out of options. Instead of giving him one last chance to show something with a ball club that has nothing to lose. They decided to take away that one last chance.

Yeah I am and I get the concept... I just don't trust the methodology at this point. I hope to trust it later when it is stabilized somehow. The sample size swings are too much for any hat hanging. I'm a big defense guy and I look at it pretty simple. Did you take away or give an extra out. The answer to that is the difference between hanging a zero and leaving a crooked number and ball games can be won or lost right there. Arcia... He certainly wasn't a take away an out guy (maybe his arm on occasion). But then again... The Current Twins don't have a lot of take away an out types of guys after Buxton.

I'm not a WAR guy

Yeah I'm not happy... The rest of this season should be about finding out what you have for 2017 and each player should get an equal shot at showing their future worth especially when you don't have those pesky little pressures of making the playoffs. I'm not happy... because I've watched nearly every game and I know that Arcia didn't play well but I also know that he wasn't beaten out by someone who played better.

Easy to see, hear, feel and smell this train coming down the tracks. Oswaldo Arcia was put to sleep... plain and simple. Healthy and he was given 11 AB's in the last 15 games. Put to sleep on a team that keeps losing and losing big. He wasn't accidentally put to sleep. He was hand selected and then purposely put to sleep. Hand selected because... I assume... an evaluation was made prior. An evaluation made by the same people who made all these other evaluations that have been... nearly 100 percent wrong since September... I would have felt slightly comfortable with this move if Arcia was given a fair chance to compete for a roster slot. I could have been slightly on-board with this decision if I couldn't name at least 7 current Twins who have performed worse this year or at bare minimum... equally as questionable as Arcia has been... yet were still hand selected to be given a chance to turn it around. I won't even try to predict if Arcia will or will not make it down the line. He's flawed right now just like the overwhelming majority of his now ex-teammates. However... he has enough pop to be something special and he's still on the young side so who knows. This team is 20-46... it doesn't need to make premature hard decisions like this one. It's bad enough that we have 20 wins and 46 losses... but now we get to watch other teams vulture over our 20-46 carcass. Mark me down for being of the belief that this might be the right decision based on absolutely horrible reasoning. Dear Jim Pohlad, In the Total System Failure Interview... Chip Scoggins asked if you were prepared to do something drastic if the team continues to lose and look so uninspired. You were quoted as saying: “Give me something drastic that — without just making us feel good by doing it – that’s necessarily going result in something better,” The resulting in something better part may be true for a short term time frame... that doesn't really matter anymore... but you have failed to consider that the lead designers of this total system failure will have many chances to make it worse for 2017 and beyond and 2017 and beyond should still matter.

Ahh... You got cold with a couple of hills. In Grand Forks... It's Cold with no hills for miles and miles.

I'm with Willard Scott 72 Degrees is perfect.

There's 50 feet of crap... and then there's us. http://worldcricketwatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Brad-Pitt-Moneyball4.png

I remember those youth hockey trips coming back from wherever in Winter My wife is cold so she is cranking the heat up and I have meat falling off the bone.

It’s a Father’s day weekend and the Yankees have come to town to provide entertainment for all of the fathers who want to spend Father’s day at Target Field. The total number of Fathers that would consider attending has been in a free fall as the season has progressed. Thousands will stay home and mow the lawn instead. Everyone knows that I am the biggest (not in circumference) Twins fan in the world and… I’ve elected to not spend Father’s day at Target Field. You have fallen from lofty heights if I’m making the decision to not attend on my special day. My recently graduated son and I will be attending on Saturday instead to get some Sano bobble heads. Woo Hoo… Go Twins!!! For the Father’s… here are some things to think about: 1. John Adams – We all remember the drama that John Adams caused a young boy named Elliott. This courageous young lad who had to escape the feds on a flying bicycle with a funny voiced extra-terrestrial blocking his view… sitting in a crate strapped somehow to the front. It was John Adams who set everything in motion when he signed the Alien and Sedition Acts into law. That’s why the Feds were involved and that’s why Aliens are very careful to avoid detection when they visit… That’s why when they are discovered… they are rarely seditious. It’s all because of John Adams and the story doesn’t end there. John Adams is… the most fatherly American of all time. John Adams was the father of John Quincy Adams who was our 79th President of the United States… John Adams was a Founding Father of our nation as a signer of the Declaration of Independence and because he was such a strong supporter of national defense… John Adams has been called the father of the U.S. Navy. He built a bunch of boats and after you took the time to Adam all up, the numbers suggested that we had enough for a navy. 2. Gomez Addams – Another important father in our history. Always dressed in a double breasted pin stripe suit… Gomez liked to hang upside down and dynamite model trains. He kept lit cigars in his pocket and was easily distracted by his wife for whom he had great fondness. Gomez and his importance can’t be understated. Without Gomez as a father… Tuesday would roll right into Thursday when the clock struck midnight. 3. Adam West – Not many people know this but Batman is the father of 6 children. This has always been a closely guarded secret because he had many enemies who would have loved to have that information for selfish evil blackmail reasons. He made the tremendous sacrifice to live the solitary life of a billionaire playboy while his children… Pow, Bam, Biff, Whammo, Zap and Zonk lived in the countryside outside of Gotham undetected and in total poverty. 4. Darwin’s Frog – Native to South America… this species of Frog plays a very unique role as the father. The female Darwin's frog will lay her eggs in water like most other frogs but when they are tadpoles… the dad Darwin's frog protects them from predators by putting the tadpoles into his mouth and storing them in his vocal sac until they are fully developed frogs. At that point… he regurgitates them out and they are introduced to the world. If the Human male had to do that to keep our species alive… it would be the end of the human race. 5. Father’s Day Gift – I’m not sure what I will get for a gift on Sunday. Two years ago… my sons got me a coffee cup that said “#1 Dad” on it. Last year… I got another coffer cup… This one said “#87 Dad”. ____________________ Lineups: YANKEES Jacoby Ellsbury(L) CF Brett Gardner(L) LF Carlos Beltran(S) RF Alex Rodriguez[R] DH Brian McCann(L) C Starlin Castro[R] 2B Didi Gregorius(L) SS Chase Headley(S) 3B Ike Davis(L) 1B CC Sabathia (L) P TWINS Eduardo Nunez[R] 3B Robbie Grossman(S) LF Brian Dozier[R] 2B Trevor Plouffe[R] DH Byung-Ho Park[R] 1B Eduardo Escobar(S) SS Max Kepler(L) RF Kurt Suzuki[R] C Byron Buxton[R] CF Kyle Gibson [R] P Game-time forecast: Clear and sunny (until 9:02 pm when the sun sets), 78 deg F, 1% chance of precipitation, winds from the E at 8mph. Go Twins! Click here to view the article

8th Inning That was when my chin hit my chest.

Disclaimer: I'm an equal opportunity Make Fun of anything type guy. Jewish Guy was accidentally shot in a hunting accident and he was in tremendous pain. Too much pain to handle and he asked his friend to finish him off. Friend: "I'm sorry I don't have any Bullets left" Jewish Guy "It's Ok... You can buy some from me"

That is pretty strange Almost as strange as a Hockey Player named after a City in Missouri.

Buxton and Grossman are like Hockey Players trying to go bar down.

GROSSMAN

I was at the Bank and the old lady in front of me wanted to check her balance. So I Pushed her and it wasn't very good.

And he asks the bartender... "Have you heard the joke that doesn't have a punchline" and the Bartender says "No"

BUXTON

Reminds me of the true story of Greenpeace activists spray painting the fur of Seals so their pelts would be worthless and this effort was supposed to save their life from poachers. The spray painting didn't really blend in with the snow anymore and they became easy meals for predators.

Yeah... There really isn't anything stickier than a stick Other than our Veteran Starting Pitchers. I can't think of anything stickier than a stick.