The Golden Grapefruit Awards: Our Favorite Spring Training Clichés

Welcome, welcome, everyone to the first annual Golden Grapefruit Awards show. We’ve finally made it through another spring training, so let’s take a moment to look back at some memorable moments and hand out some spring training awards.

Every year, the same storylines tend to pop up, and fans consume them like animals every year. We had a great showing this year. Every predicted cliché had at least one qualifier, and many award winners shone magnificently, going above and beyond what the academy (Greggory and his cats) was looking for. Let’s get started!

Miguel Sanó Memorial "Best Shape of his Life" Award: José Miranda
We start our awards with a classic. Each year, someone in every camp shows up in what they or someone else can describe as “the best shape of his life.” Sometimes several people show up in such a state. Some people show up in such a state several times.

With the departure of perennial "Best Shape of his Life" candidate Sanó, this award had no clear frontrunner and big shoes to fill. Miranda certainly filled those shoes, hiring a nutritionist over the offseason and weighing in 12 pounds lighter than he did at the end of 2022 in an effort to slim down and hold up better over the season.

Take Carlos Correa’s word for it: “He looks sexy. You see that body?” Congratulations on your first Golden Grapefruit, José.

"Newest Pitch" Award: Griffin Jax and Joe Ryan (tie)
There was a crowded field for this award, with at least six players showing up to camp with what could be called a “new pitch.” None of these pitchers may still be throwing their new pitches come September, but spring training is built on hope and optimism.

Emilio Pagán emerged as the early favorite, adding a new pitch down the stretch in 2022—a curveball with which he saw moderate success. Then, early in camp, it was revealed that Griffin Jax, Tyler Mahle, Caleb Thielbar, and Joe Ryan all spent time at Driveline this winter to revamp their arsenals.

Jax added a cutter to pair with his slider. Mahle both changed his slider and split changeup. Thielbar fine-tuned his mix, and Ryan changed his slider to a sweeper while also adding a split change. After camp started, Aaron Gleeman and Jeremy Maschino noticed that Pablo López and Jovani Morán, respectively, both made adjustments to their curveball and slider, respectively, to throw a sweeper.

I’m here to make the executive decision that changing a breaking pitch to a sweeper doesn’t count as throwing a new pitch, nor does tinkering with an existing pitch. As such, edging out Pagán by a few weeks, we have Jax and Ryan as our co-winners of the "Newest Pitch" Award for their new cutter and split-change developed at the same time.

We only have one trophy, so they’ll need to settle it between themselves.

"Most Revamped Swing" Award: Max Kepler
Most years, this award would go to the player who spent the offseason working with a guru to fix a glaring hole in their swing, refine their mechanics, or build consistent timing. Joey Gallo was a prime candidate for the award, and he did reportedly spend time this offseason fixing holes in his swing. Even the value-brand Gallo, Matt Wallner, was reported to have done the same. 

However, this year, the award goes to Kepler, who took the unorthodox path toward fixing his swing—getting his mind right while sipping wine in Paris. Kepler, who went through a significant emotional struggle over the past year, stated that he needed to clear his mind for a month to work through it.

Hey, if it works, who cares how he got there? Best of luck in a shift-free 2023, Mr. Kepler.

"Weirdest Injury" Award: Jordan Balazovic
Although not a cliché, it seems that every year there is an inexplicable injury that can only be chalked up to spring training. Recall 2021, when Byron Buxton missed a few weeks due to a root canal after chipping his tooth while eating steak.

Balazovic, a pitching prospect, spent spring training 2023 with his mouth wired shut after a couple of sucker punches broke his jaw the night before spring training started. In this case, the award was won before a game or even practice took place. 

"Honey, Grab my Program" Award: Andrew Bechtold
Spring training, especially early in the year and late in games, features a rotating cast of characters more extensive than The Simpsons. Non-roster invites, prospects, and career minor leaguers are each given their turn in the Florida sun. Every year, a few prospects get their number called more than others, consistently sending fans scrambling to look up who #89 is.

Only players who have never appeared in MLB and are not on the 40-man roster qualify for this award. Bechtold was the winner, leading qualified players in both games (15) and plate appearances (27) and showing off his defensive versatility. Unfortunately, he has a .305 OPS this spring. But it’s the times you get up that counts, or whatever Rocky Balboa said.

"First Cliché Statement" Award: Carlos Correa
It’s not every day that Buxton is the second fastest to get somewhere, but Correa beat him to the first spring training cliché uttered in 2023. Players often repeat some cliché line to the media early in camp about having a good group of guys, a mix of veterans and rookies, or championship aspirations, like in Buxton’s case this year.

Correa narrowly edged out Buxton in making a clichéd comment to the media. He hit it out of the park by lecturing his teammates about needing to stay healthy, challenging them to wait until they retire to retire go partying. When the 200 million dollar man speaks, I’m guessing they listen.

Congratulations Carlos! I’m sure you’ll be in the running for earliest cliché for the better part of the next decade, so we’ll see you here next year to defend your title.

"Grainiest Video" Award: Do-Hyoung Park
Finally, my favorite award—the media can’t help themselves, and we, as fans, will eat up whatever they give us. When baseball’s back, we need proof. Grainy videos taken through a fence at the beginning of camp are a spring training staple.

There were many great candidates, but Do hit a grand slam with this video. First, it appeared even before pitchers and catchers reported. Next, it was filmed through not only one fence but two. Finally, Alex Kirilloff’s bat, shorts, and shirt blend in so well with the backdrop that all you can see are his lightning-fast appendages and what I assume are dashing good looks (I couldn’t tell through the fence).

Congratulations Do! You might not have won Jeopardy, but you did win a Golden Grapefruit.