There is a nice little article today on ESPN about MLB players and their nicknames. I saw Josh "The Hammer" Willingham mentioned, but did not see any other current Twins mentioned. That being said, I thought I would give it a try:

Matt "I need a night" Capps

Ryan "Just" Doumit

Ben "Don't call me Paul" Revere

Justin "Less yes" Morneau

Denard "Spic and" Span

Alex Burnett "Burn it all"

And lastly

Dan "I'll be" Gladden "he's fired"

(couldn't resist)

While my wife tends to call Justin Morneau "Mr. Hot Pants" (in honor of her 1st base vantage point which for many years provided a view of something she liked) I like other, sometimes less considerate nicknames

Matt "Capps Shoot"

Joe "Chairman Mau"er

"Save Big Money with" Denard S.

and recently my brother has taken up the task of popularizing:

"Country Superstar" Jamey Carroll

(Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised to hear, "That was a classic cut from Vince Gill and now the new hit from Jamey Carroll "Mommas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Middle Relievers")

I'll take a crack at some pitchers:

Jason Marquis "de Sade"

Jeff "Shades of" Gray

Liam "Jimi" Hendriks

Nick "Blackburn's Ghost"

Carl "Hey!" Pavano

Matt "Don't Give Me That" Maloney

Alex "Carol" Burnett

And I guess there's:

Jamey Carroll "Burnett"