Hello, fellow humans! My name is William Malone IV. Son of William Malone III. And I come with great news! Opening Day is almost here. It will be here within the month.

Opening Day will come with an Opening Day lineup! Throughout the brilliant history of the Minnesota Twins, they have started 24 men at first base on Opening Day. It appears the wonderful Ty France will be the 25th such player when the season commences later in March.

But who are these other 24 amazing baseball players who have taken the field for Minnesota at first base to open various seasons? That is exactly what this post will tell you! And for fun, we will rank their careers. Keep in mind, we are ranking entire careers. Not just their time as first baseman for the Twins. But don't forget to flood the comments calling your ole pal William Malone IV a big stupid dum dum when you disagree with where your favorite player is ranked!

24. Chris Parmelee (2012)
Parmelee was penciled in as an Opening Day starter for 2012 following an epic September call-up performance the year before. His arrival displaced Justin Morneau, moving the Twins longtime first baseman to a DH role. But Parmelee never build on that September 2011 showing, and Morneau had his old job back by the end of April.

23. Kevin Maas (1995)
The post Kent Hrbek-era saw Minnesota start career Quad-A first baseman Kevin Maas on Opening Day. He was runner-up for AL Rookie of the Year in 1990 while filling in for an injured Don Mattingly on the New York Yankees, but things never really got going after that one short burst. His time with the Twins was just a 22 game stint in 1995.

22. Scott Stahoviak (1996-97)
Another career Quad-A player, Stahoviak played 344 big league games for the Twins between 1993 and 1998. He also played 251 games at the Triple-A level in that same time frame. His 1996 season was pretty nice, hitting 13 home runs with a 112 OPS+. This season accounted for 1.4 of his career 1.0 WAR. So you can do the math on what the rest of his career looked like.

21. Mickey Hatcher (1981)
Opening Day in 1981 was one of just seven games Hatcher played at first base that season. Most of his 12-year career was spent as a backup outfielder, which included six seasons in Minnesota. He just missed out on the 1987 World Series by getting traded to the Dodgers following the 1986 campaign, but he did get a ring the following year when Los Angeles won it all in 1988.

20. Mike Cubbage (1980)
Cubbage was the Twins regular third baseman for most of the late 70's, but he moved across the diamond for the 1980 season. Regardless of what position he played, the offense was never there. He hit 34 home runs with a .699 OPS during his eight years in the big leagues.

19. Ron Jackson (1979)
1979 probably was a career year for Jackson, who spent seven of his ten big league seasons with the California Angels. Given the impossible task of replacing Rod Career, he hit a career high 14 homers that season for Minnesota. His 68 RBI that year was also a career best.

18. Gene Larkin (1992)
With Kent Hrbek unenviable for Opening Day in 1992, the Twins trusty utility man filled in as the starter to open that year. His entire seven year career was spent with the Twins, posting a 98 OPS+ while playing a lot of first base and corner outfield.

17. Joe Lis (1973-74)
Lis was a career utility man who just happened to get back-to-back Opening Day nods at first base for the Twins. He played a lot of third base and left field as well in his career, with some rare catching appearances randomly scattered throughout his eight year Major League career.

16. Steve Braun (1975)
Left field and third base were more common positions for Braun during his six seasons in Minnesota. He was more notably a pinch hitting specialist and double switch aficionado later in his career with the St. Louis Cardinals, helping them win a World Series in 1982.

15. Rich Reese (1969-71)
The Twins got a career year out of Reese in 1969. He hit .322 with 16 home runs and 69 RBI. Nothing else in his ten year career came remotely close to what he did that season. Minnesota reached the ALCS in 1969 and 1970 with Reese as their starting first baseman, but he hit just .158 with no extra base hits during those two postseasons.

14. Orlando Merced (1998)
Merced was the Pittsburgh Pirates starting right fielder for much of the early and mid 90's. Minnesota signed him as a free agent ahead of the 1998 season, and moved him to first base. He hit .289 for the Twins, and was traded to a contending Red Sox club at the deadline. For his career, Merced hit .277 with a 107 OPS+ over 13 big league seasons.

13. Miguel Sano (2020-22)
Sano had some extreme pros and cons to his game. He had two 30 home run seasons, and a 28 home run campaign in 2017 when he was named an All-Star. And his on-base percentage was usually above the league average due to a solid walk rate. But the batting average was low, the strikeouts were high, the defense was bad, and the injuries were often.

12. Don Mincher (1966)
He was a two time All-Star, but neither of those came with the Twins. Most of his time with the Twins/Senators was spent as a backup first baseman and pinch hitting specialist. Mincher became an All-Star later on his career after he was traded to the California Angels in a deal for ace starter Dean Chance. 

11. Doug Mientkiewicz (1999, 2001-04)
Mientkiewicz had an impressive 12-year career, spending seven seasons in Minnesota. He won a Gold Glove in 2001, also hitting a career best .306 that season. The biggest piece of his legacy might be catching the final out of the 2004 World Series for the Boston Red Sox, breaking the Curse of the Bambino. Mientkiewicz famously did not give that ball back to the organization without a fight though.

10. Joey Gallo (2023)
It's easy to compare him to Miguel Sano. For the most part it's also a fair comparison. High power, high walk rate, high strikeout rate, low batting average. But a huge difference is the fact that Joey Gallo is a two time Gold Glove winner in the outfield. He also found himself on the injured list a lot less frequently.

9. C.J. Cron (2019)
Cron snuck into an All-Star Game late in his career with the Colorado Rockies. Maybe he was riding the Coors Field effect a little bit, but you can't take the All-Star selection away from the guy. Even before playing at altitude, Cron was still a very solid player. He provided some very solid defense at first base, along with 25-30 homers per year.

8. Carlos Santana (2024)
We've probably reached the best version of Miguel Sano and Joey Gallo. Santana has never hit for a high batting average, but it was usually better than Sano or Gallo. Like the others, he makes up for his average with a very good walk rate. Santana has even led the league in walks twice. He's also been more durable than both of them throughout his career.

7. Vic Power (1962-63)
Power was a six time All-Star and seven time Gold Glove winner. Most of these accolades were accomplished as a member of the Kansas City Athletics or Cleveland Indians, but he did win two Gold Gloves after coming to Minnesota in his mid-30's.

6. Bob Allison (1964)
Most of his career was spent as a corner outfielder for the Senators or Twins, but Allison had a short stint at first base and started there on Opening Day in 1964. He was a three time All-Star and 1959 Rookie of the Year, leading the American League with a .911 OPS in 1963. His 256 home runs are third in Twins/Senators history, but he drops to sixth if you take away his time with the Senators and only do Twins history.

5. Kent Hrbek (1982-91, 1993-94)
The accolades Hrbek probably deserved aren't there. He's only a one time All-Star who never won a Gold Glove or Silver Slugger, but two World Series rings is a nice consolation prize. His playoff stats aren't that impressive, sporting a .516 OPS in 24 postseason games. But Hrbek always made sure the Twins got off to good starts in a playoff series. He had an .856 OPS in game ones, helping Minnesota go 4-0 in such games.

4. Justin Morneau (2005-11, 2013)
Morneau won AL MVP in 2006, and he was runner-up for the award in 2008. The Canadian slugger was also crowned NL batting champion in 2014 when he was with the Colorado Rockies.

3. Joe Mauer (2014-18)
The peak of Joe Mauer was obviously when he was playing behind home plate, and that's why he ranks so highly on this list. It's a Hall of Fame peak. You can't dispute that. He's right there in Cooperstown with all the other legends of the sport. The resume includes three batting titles, three Gold Gloves, and five Silver Sluggers.

2. Harmon Killebrew (1961, 1965, 1967-68, 1972)
Killebrew was way ahead of his time in terms of being a three true outcome guy. A low batting average and a high strikeout total were the reasons it took him four ballots of voting to reach Cooperstown. But he still hit 573 home runs, and his incredible walk rate gave him a higher on-base percentage than career .305 hitter Henry Aaron.

1. Rod Carew (1976-78)
This is one of the most impressive resumes in baseball history. Carew was an 18 time All-Star who won seven American League batting titles. He was American League MVP in 1977, and won Rookie of the Year a decade earlier in 1967.