Vanimal46

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOzjBO2dsmY ANNND Welcome! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: WrestleMania Edition! I am your host for the next 2 days, Stone Cold Van from Austin, the TEXAS RATTLESNAKE... I'm here to TEAR S*** UP! Are you as excited as we are for a Royal Rumble featuring the Minnesota Twins and the White Sox?! You better be, or my fists will have something to say to you! Before we jump into the event, let's talk weather and lineups. Bark, toss me a beer or 3 and let's get it started! Looks like it's going to rain in Minneapolis! 80% chance of thunderstorms to be exact. If the game is played, they'll be in 65 degree weather... Minnesota Twins (6-4): P- Ervin Santana ® - 83 overall on MLB The Show! Chicago White Sox (5-4): P- Jose Quintana (L) - Starting off the season slowly! Alright, we've got a special treat for you tonight! Everyone in the AL Central is battling for the valuable division belt, and you're about to see your Twins square off in the ring! Let's meet our first contenders.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMCedNz7ML8 Miguel Sano vs. Jose Abreu: Can you feel the TENSION in the air? You can cut it with a knife as these 2 sluggers flat out don't like each other.... JA: "I hope you brought your jammies, Undertaker. Because I'm going to put you to sleep." MS: "Put me to sleep? Please.... You're the one putting your fans to sleep hitting 0 home runs so far." JA: "Oh yeah? At least I'm not striking out 35% of the time in my career." Oh no! There's a crazy look in Miguel's eyes.... Could it be?! YES! It's the Tombstone Piledriver!! And the crowd goes wild! But WAIT! We're not supposed to see any other AL Central teams here.... What is Eric Hosmer doing running in the ring? As a dirty Royal would do, he just hit Sano in the back with a folding chair... Sano is down. Who can help out the Undertaker now? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcFcDlZXH7U Oh my god!! It's Byron "The Rock" Buxton! Please Byron, save Sano from the WRATH of Hosmer! BB: "This ain't your battle, Hosmer. We just played you last week." EH: "You think I wouldn't make an appearance? We deserve to win the title! We won it all 2 years ago." BB: "That's old news, Hosmer." EH: "You know what isn't going to be old news, you batting .081 and striking out 52.6% of the time in April." Oh no! I've seen that look from Buxton before, and he's going to try it.... The PEOPLE'S ELBOW! He's flying around the ring, and...Connection! Hosmer is DOWN! 1....2....3..... PINNED!! But wait! Francisco Lindor sneaks up behind Buxton as he was celebrating the win and knocks him out cold! Who can save Buxton from the BLOODY carnage on the ring? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lZDgGr1PO0 NO WAY! Could it really be?! Brian Dozier, the REAL AMERICAN is here to avenge his friend. BD: "YOU.... We need to talk. What are you gonna do, brother?" FL: "You guys are trying to steal property from us. The title is OURS." BD: "Nobody has the title now, brother. Until I say so, it's MINE." FL: "You know what else is ours? Your weakness. Down and away pitching so you can't hit home runs anymore! Hahahaha" The crowd is growing EXHAUSTED in anticipation! Right hook... MEAN right hook again for Dozier! Lindor is pushed down, and OMG! It's the LEG DROP!!! And Dozier wins! He's tearing off his shirt as the ladies go crazy! But wait.... Dozier NO!! He was sneak attacked by none other than Miggy Cabrera. The former MVP couldn't take the thought of Dozier being better than him. *Lights dim* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGX8NSMDBfY Finally! Ervin Kane is here... and boy does he look TERRIFYING and ANGRY.... ES: "You don't get to do this to my friends, Miggy. You don't smell baseball, you don't get this title." MC: "I have something better than that title... I can hit against anyone on your team. In fact, I know off the top of my head that I'm hitting .318/.391/.585 with 40 HR against your team in my career." Is this it? The final battle?! It certainly appears so... Ervin is PISSED. Wait, what's he taking out of his pocket? YES! It's the famous pitching sock! Miggy quivers in fear, knowing what's coming next... Oh my god! It's over! Twins win! THEEEEE TWINS... WIN! The crowd is going wild for the new AL Central division champions.... Now let's get back to our regularly scheduled programming. Win Twins! That is if you play today....

I think so too. The palm reader was just an experience to add to the night... Selfishly I'll be rooting for lots of success, whatever they may be!

Much like Buxton, I'm just looking for some good contact every once in a while to go with elite defense....

She's in her age 24 season and I'm about to turn into age 27 season... In baseball years I'm about to be tossed to the waiver wire!

I'm pretty flustered tonight gang... Heard the world's worst excuse for cancelling a date tonight. She said she forgot her ID at home and couldn't go out to meet for a date in a group setting. I also had a girl do a "reading" of my left palm at the bar. Said I had the correct crease in my hand for lots of success!! But she said I'm also going to die at 50 years old.... HYPOTHETICAL: What would you do if you had ~23 years left on this Earth?

Chief's real name is, ironically, also Miguel Sano.

Sano looks SO athletic trotting to first after the walk...

Concur. Wait, are we giving out fake names now? My real name is Miguel Sano.

Just joining now... Thoughts on the red uniforms?

After doing taxes this week and owing, again.... It got me thinking how it wasn't so bad being a broke college student getting money back from Uncle Sam!

First I've heard of an Easter Lasagna tradition.... That sounds delicious!

Is it okay if I call you Oprah?

That's right! Her and I have worked so well together over the last 3 years that we are going to start our own firm in the next 2-3 years. We're in the planning stages right now finding out everything we'd need to get off the ground and what the ROI would be. Very excited!

This is going to be a disappointing day... Already hit the quota for likes.

Holidays are certainly different when you're not living close to family anymore. Fortunately I was invited over to my co-worker/future business partner's house to celebrate with her family and friends. Smoking a pork shoulder, cheesy potatoes, mac and cheese, other assorted fruits and veggies, and drinks in the pool!

What's on the menu for you guys on this Easter weekend?

I used to be a CEO of a church.... Christmas and Easter Only....

I stopped looking at Berrios' stat line because all he does is dominate in AAA. Whatever he's working on besides a great stat line, I hope he's doing it.

Shameless plug... We've got an action packed weekend! Leading off with another RB classic game thread, you'll get me for the next 2 days! Buckle up!!

We need a kickstarter to get RB a White Sox shirt, pronto!

I love game threads, scorching hot taeks, talking about food, and Miguel Sano.

The layout looks good on an iPad, but on mobile it looks a little out of place above the Create a Forum button... Guess I'm just conditioned to think that's ad space on most every site out there that it took me a second to find the subthread there.

I disagree Buxton needs to bunt more. IIRC, Molitor said over the off-season they made a mistake in 2016 wanting him to hit the ball on the ground instead of driving it into the gap. I prefer for him not to rely on bunting. Instead, get good contact on the ball through routine and repetition...

Just an absolute moon shot.... He's so fun to watch this season.

Glad to hear the good news about Berrios!