Y'know, I love Mrs Chief, but for as many years as we've been married, I just can't figure out how to please that woman. Our Anniversary was yesterday, so I spent the entire last month trying to figure out what she wanted as a gift.
Finally, after about the 10th time asking, she told me "Well dear, if you must know, nothing would make me happier than a pair of diamond earings."
So I did exactly as she asked.
I got her nothing.
And she's STILL mad as ****.