Riverbrian

Look at Sano Range to the Corner and catch a ball.

Do the Twins realize that they are playing this poorly on Ash's Birthday?

The loss column is expanding.

I think Gibson was so worried about Harper that he forgot about everybody else.

Communists

In all seriousness... I'm not good with it. Just pretty sure it happens.

When the "BREAKING LEPROSY NEWS" ticker crawls across the bottom of my TV. I admit I read it.

Nah... I think it's a case of... I have so much integrity that I realize that I may not have as much integrity under similar circumstances. I'm not saying I would take PED's for 500 Grand a year/Minimum. But I will knock over that old lady who is in my way.

1. Simply making the Major Leagues is the difference between a salary below Poverty to a salary over 500 Grand a year. 2. There is enormous competition for these MLB jobs that can be decided by the competitive advantage provided by PED's. 3. Who can blame anyone for being tempted to improve your odds at making the big leagues. Not only is making the major leagues a rare accomplishment and an incredible dream to be close to capturing... tha aside... serious crimes have been committed in other walks of life for much less money. 4. I wouldn't blame Colabello or anyone for succumbing to the temptation for the reasons listed above. 5. However... It's easy to hate the action when you think of those who don't make the majors or are beaten out of a major league job by someone who took PED's. 6. Colabello used to be the inspirational story of the guy who beat all odds to play in the majors. 7. That story is now gone and life is a little sadder today.

I know... You and I... We see it so clear.

Needed to edit to allow for the addition of another Joe Here's the Conversation that Maddon would have had with Mauer about playing OF Joe: Hey Joe Joe: Hey Joe Joe: Hey I'm dead but through the magic of Riverbrian I can still speak and declare all of you communists. I want the Hollywood left Black Listed... Long Live Wisconsin and I am drinking way too much. Joe: Say... I want to play Park and you in the lineup today. The only way I can do this is to move you to RF... Sano to 3B and Park at 1B so... umm... Max Kepler will borrow you his glove. He's not using it anyway and I need you to play RF tonight. Joe: Umm... I have an agreement... When I signed my contract... He (points at Terry Ryan) promised me that I would never have to play another position... He promised that I would be Catcher and that's it. Joe: It's the road construction in Milwaukee... It's bad... everybody is late for supper and then you end up drinking on an empty stomach. That's why Wisconsin gets all these crazy ideas. Joe: And now you are the 1st basemen... Times change... We adjust. I see you in RF tonight. Terry: Joe doesn't have to play OF if he doesn't want to. Joe: I'm going back to Chicago... This was a mistake to come to Minnesota. I had a good thing going at Wrigley. Joe: I'm going with you. Joe: You can have Chicago...Bunch of communists in Chicago.

I just think that Joe Maddon (and now Dave Roberts) is right and the rest of baseball is wrong. Players are much more flexible then most believe. You can play a guy at a different position and still improve your chances of winning a game. Maddon typically asks players to play different positions in spring training. He checks for aptitude and then when the regular season begins... if he wants to get La Stella into the game at 3B. He can move Bryant to the OF and keep his bat in the lineup. All Managers will be doing it down the road eventually. It might take a little while for new blood to come in though. The Twins are all or nothing. When they move a player to a different spot... They just do it and burn the bridge behind them. Just my theory from my chair in the Joe Maddon fan club.

There's Ash A guy named Tom from Hibbing and... and... 75 unnamed Galapagos Giant Turtles.

Joe Madden would have done this already... Maybe a Couple or Ten Times.

Bryce Harper is the latest “Red Scare” coming out of Washington. The sight of Harper in that bright red jersey is about as scary as Nakita Khrushchev pounding his shoe on the table. Harper hits nuclear bombs and now the children must once again submit to 'diving-under-the-desk' drills because we all know that a desk will protect the children when a nuclear bomb hits nearby. I’m not sure if a fall-out shelter has been constructed in the Twins church basement but here comes the Bryce Harper red scare. Yes… I’m calling Bryce Harper a communist. I have no proof of this but proof has never stopped anyone on TD before. :) Here are some things to think about: 1. Lineupology – No DH in National League cities so Park has been sitting on the bench. If you are ever going to play Park and sit Mauer… the only left handed starter the Twins will face in these 5 games is on the mound tonight. So I’m resting Mauer so I can play Park. I’m also resting Escobar because he was out of it at the plate yesterday and Polanco wasn’t; and I want Nunez back in the lineup. I’m also tempted to rest Buxton because of his 3 strikeouts but his replacement would be left handed Kepler or left handed Arcia, so Buxton will get the start and I’m going to ask him nicely to please not strikeout 3 times tonight. DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT THE REAL LINEUP UNLESS IT’S THE REAL LINEUP AND IF IT’S THE REAL LINEUP… THAT MEANS THAT PAUL MOLITOR IS A PLAGIARIST OR A STENOGRAPHER. SS Nunez 3B Polanco RF Sano 1B Park 2B Dozier LF Rosario C Suzuki P Gibson CF Buxton 2. April 22, 1954 – It's more than almost a sublime song. This was a very important date in our history. It was on this date that the televised Army-McCarthy hearings commenced. Joe McCarthy was a U.S. Senator from Grand Chute, Wisconsin. Just so you can find it on a map… Grand Chute is about 4 hours to the Southeast from ASHland, Wisconsin. Joe had the ear of the press and the public for a few years and Joe was personally responsible for a post WWII witch hunt that attacked Lucille Ball among others. That was until April 22, 1954… that was the beginning of the end of Joe McCarthy. McCarthy turned his communist-accusing finger to the US Army and the Army fought back. Television exposed McCarthy as a cruel and reckless accuser. The harsh light of TV turned his once bright star ASHen. It was a moment that Americans rose up from the ASHes of fear. Yes… April 22, 1954 was a great date in US History and all that were born on this date were destined for great things. 3. The Parkster – I have a theory that Sano needed to move to RF so he had a place to play when we were without a DH. Looks like that could be a problem for our South Korean new addition Byung Ho Park. I think Park should play because if you are going to take on that communist Bryce Harper, Park probably has more experience than everyone else in the dugout when it comes to dealing with this type of Red threat. 4. Washington DC – I visited DC last summer... actually, not really… I went to all the tourist stuff and that probably isn’t the real DC. I made the trek to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I really respect our Soldiers and the sacrifices that have been made for the lifestyle that I often take for granted. There is no doubt that I would have been very moved by the site. It is really beautiful but I really didn’t have the strength. Walking to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is a long way through Arlington Cemetery and it is uphill the entire way. If any of you are 50 years old and want to feel like you are 62 years old, I suggest a trip to Arlington Cemetery and the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Here’s another thing… The Tomb is constantly guarded. After I walked uphill the entire way… I was so exhausted that I tried to climb into the tomb and save my family the burial costs. Those guards are well trained and it isn’t just one guy… they have a bunch more in a back room who all came out and they explained very politely that I would be allowed to die here but not be buried here. 5. Loud Knock at the Door – Neil Allen was sitting in his hotel room last night when he heard this load knock at the door. Neil shouted out… “Who is it”? “Death” was the reply from the other side. Neil opened the door and said “Whew… I thought it was Bryce Harper”. -------------------- Lineups: TWINS Eduardo Nunez(R ) 3B Brian Dozier(R ) 2B Joe Mauer(L) 1B Miguel Sano(R ) RF Eddie Rosario(L) LF Eduardo Escobar(S) SS Kurt Suzuki(R ) C Kyle Gibson(R ) P Byron Buxton(R ) CF NATIONALS Michael Taylor(R ) CF Anthony Rendon(R ) 3B Bryce Harper(L) RF Ryan Zimmerman(R ) 1B Daniel Murphy(L) 2B Jayson Werth(R ) LF Danny Espinosa(S) SS Jose Lobaton(S) C Gio Gonzalez(L) P Click here to view the article

You can't stash Milone or Nolasco in the Minors. The CBA won't allow it. You can stash Duffey and Berrios and Meyer in the Minors... The CBA Will allow that. You need at least 8 pitchers to get through the season. Of course Duffey, Berrios and Meyer were going to start the season in the minors. You don't cut depth when you don't have to. We will see these guys in the majors before the year is out. Who gets called up first is the real question. When... It will happen when the first blister or farm accident happens.

Yeah Never do that

Dozier going the opposite way. Hope he does that again some day.

I like her I don't like her punch lines.

Focus Groups And in all seriousness Soccer Moms... She looks like a Soccer Mom and therefore the real Soccer Moms are supposed to trust her and feel safe driving a Toyota. It's that Carefree Attitude that she presents. For Awhile she was even Pregnant to bring that all home and wrap it in a bow.

It's two bad games in a row. They deserved the result in both games by playing the game at a sub-professional level.

Everybody looking for a Flo these days. Toyota and AT&T obviously don't know where to look.

Robert Kuhl is one of the greatest supporting actors of all time. Every Movie I've seen him in... He's been supporting some one.

Ok... I'll watch Nunez But I'm not watching Dozier out of respect for the game. I'll be in the locker room gathering an arm full of bats to throw into the showers. Robert Kuhl will be right next to me for support.