Riverbrian

I still have 3 peaches left from the free ones I took home last week. I didn't really like the one that I had last week. I get a text from my wife. Eat those peaches or I will throw them away. Throwing them away would be the perfect ending to this story but here I am preparing one for my consumption. Women are powerful... don't let anyone tell you different.

Improvement is mine. All those players who will be with us in 2017... I just want them looking like they are going to knock people out and then actually knock people out in 2017.

I'm kinda pumped to watch baseball tonight. I hope that feeling lasts.

I researched it and Wall Drug came in at 83rd Most Popular. This is down from 6th a decade ago. According to reports... The decline was the result of tourists expecting something else and discovering that they sold fridge magnets primarily.

Nah... I read that word and I still have no idea what it means.

Nah... I typed the word and still don't understand what it means.

Some islands are connected on a human emotional level. I thought it was important to designate how the Hawaiian Islands were actually connected. Obtuse was also used by Arthur Carlson's son in a WKRP Episode

You can probably trade him and sign him as an FA. So unless Zuke is needed for a 2016 playoff run or the development of Berrios?

And so the 2nd half begins… Actually… it’s not exactly the 2nd half… the final 45 percent of 2016 begins tonight. For the players it’s a return from vacation and as most of you know… vacations can be refreshing and exactly what is needed to re-charge those batteries. This has to be a Twins advantage because only one Twins player was forced to work the All-Star game, and every other team in the American League had 12 players participating and unable to refresh themselves. Here are some things to think about: 1. Hawaii – Perhaps the top vacation destination in the world, Hawaii is actually hundreds of islands all connected by water. The most populated island is Oahu and it was named after the noise that people make when they are in mid-air while jumping into a pool, or a similar noise that people make in mid-air while jumping into a giant vat of creamed corn. It is a 10-hour flight from Minneapolis to Honolulu and a 15 year walk. 2. Wisconsin Dells – Perhaps the 2nd most popular vacation destination in the world is located in south-central-ish Wisconsin. Tourists come to ride the ducks and enjoy the spectacular scenery along the way. The Ducks of the Dells and actual ducks are hard to tell apart but there are a couple ways that you can differentiate them. The Dell Ducks have tires… actual ducks don’t. Actual ducks will eat snails, worms, grass and weeds and the Dell Ducks have tires. The Dell Ducks can float in water and actual ducks eat snails, worms, grass and leaves. Typically, actual ducks don’t allow people to ride them but this isn’t always the case so you really can’t use that as a method to tell them apart. 3. Elbow Lake – Perhaps the 3rd most popular vacation destination in the world is one of the many 10,000 (really 20,000) lakes located within our Minnesota borders. This lake is unique because it is made entirely of elbows. A couple years ago tourism was threatened because of a severe outbreak of psoriasis, and the crisis was managed effectively with a clever use of long sleeves. 4. Belarus – Perhaps the 4th most popular vacation destination in the world is this little land locked gem located in Eastern Europe. Tourists started arriving in droves to sample the national dish, Draniki, which is a potato pancake that is impossible to make anywhere else because of a shortage of pans. While visiting… tourists are entertained by watching live corruption performances from politicians who openly engage in bribery, extortion, embezzlement and gombeenism in front of sold out audiences. 5. Chief’s House – Nobody knows why but the sudden interest in vacationing at Chief’s House in Arizona has caught the attention of Conde Nast and Wal-Mart Travel. Tourists come to raise dehydration levels, practice roadrunner catching and participate in cactus puncture wound contests; and when worn out by these activities, take turns sitting in Chief's Ekornes lounger at which point he completes the experience by running out of his house yelling 'GET OFF MY LAWN!' The economy in the area is booming from this influx of tourism and also from workers moving to the area looking for employment in advance of the soon-to-be-constructed massive wall promised by Trump. _____________________ Lineups: INDIANS Carlos Santana (S) DH Jason Kipnis (L) 2B Francisco Lindor (S) SS Mike Napoli [R) 1B Jose Ramirez (S) 3B Lonnie Chisenhall (L) RF Yan Gomes [R) C Tyler Naquin (L) CF Rajai Davis [R) LF Carlos Carrasco (R] P TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R) SS Joe Mauer (L) 1B Miguel Sano [R) 3B Brian Dozier [R) 2B Max Kepler (L) RF Kennys Vargas (S) DH Robbie Grossman (S) LF Kurt Suzuki [R) C Byron Buxton [R) CF Ervin Santana (R] P Game-time forecast: 74 deg F, partly cloudy, 23% chance of rain, winds at 4mph from the WSW. Play ball! Go Twins! Click here to view the article

If I truly went back in time. Jepsen wouldn't have been my target. With or without hindsight. In all honestly... When I say that if I could go back in time... knowing what Jepsen would pitch like in 2016 and still make that trade. I'm saying it from the standpoint of specifically Jepsen because that was the player acquired and the standpoint of needing bullpen help badly in June and July while the team was leading everybody else in the wild card chase. If I could truly go back in time to June and July 2015.. I would have been hell bent on acquiring two better relievers and getting it done long before the deadline to help the team as soon as possible. It was very difficult to watch July go by with nothing being done. Once the Jepsen trade was made... I was happy something... anything got done but that happiness was mixed with a dose of being underwhelmed and pretty large dose of disappointment that it took so long to be underwhelmed. I was pleasantly surprised by his performance in 2015 but still knew in my heart of hearts that the overall ball was dropped. Then came the off-season... The same mistake again. Another chance to take a team that almost made the playoffs and support them with guys who can protect leads and another chance not taken.

Nick's point in the article is very interesting and something I hadn't thought about before. If you won't sign a reliever to a multi-year deal. Why indeed would you trade for it instead? You end up paying the money and giving up the talent. I'm not going to be able to wrap my arms around it now that I'm aware of it. As for the trade itself... If I could go back in time... And I knew how Jepsen would perform this year... I would still go back and make that trade. I don't care if the Twins were not supposed to be in contention last year... They were in contention... and when a team is in contention... Don't question it or even doubt it... Support it... Go for it... For a GM to not try in that context... is like an infielder not moving his feet to pick up a grounder with a two run lead in the 8th. We needed at least two solid bullpen arms when July started... waiting until July was almost over to acquire just one is not moving your feet. The GM did not have the back of his players when they needed it most last year. The month of July was when I started to doubt my prior support of Terry Ryan. This off-season was when that doubt started to harden and what has happened this year was all I needed to feel strongly that we need someone else making these decisions. The infielder who doesn't move his feet can be benched... the GM... not so much apparently.

One more series and Eduardo Nunez is off to the All-Star Game and everybody else on the team is not. Congrats to Nunez… his 1st half was certainly All-Star worthy. Yeah… someone from the Twins has to be on the All-Star team according to federal law; and yeah… maybe Carlos Correa is not going to the All-Star game because Nunez was the chosen token Twins All-Star. But when you look at the production… you gotta say that Nunez has All-Star type numbers and deserves the recognition for that. This ain’t a Ron Coomer circa 1999 Selection. Let’s do some thinking about stars… All Stars… Yes… all of them Here are some things to think about: 1. Norm Green – Norm Green and some other guys bought the Atlanta Flames and then moved them to Calgary. The NHL later requested that he sell his shares in the Flames and rescue the North Stars and he rescued them by moving them to Dallas 3 years later. This propensity to pack up and leave has given him incredible leverage with United Van Lines. Minnesota nice is a real thing and it’s because we naturally don’t hate… it’s a rather small list of things that Minnesotans truly hate. Mosquitos, No Liquor on Sundays, Scraping Ice off your Car Windows and Norm Green is the entire list. 2. Stars in the Sky – According to estimates, there are about 1 billion trillion stars in the observable universe. That’s from an assumed average of 100 billion stars per galaxy and an assumed count of 10 billion galaxies. Making estimates like these is a very painstaking chore… you have to count them one by one and not lose your place. It is incredibly annoying to get to 994,785,641,286 and then have your wife call to ask what time you are coming home for dinner and then lose your place so you have to start over. 3. The Sun – When it comes to life on Earth there is nothing more important than the sun. Without the sun… we couldn’t enjoy hamburgers, for example, because the grass won’t grow so the cows can’t eat. Without cows and plants and all that stuff… we’d go hungry and we couldn’t survive. Not only would we be dead… we’d also be sleepy and sad all the time because sunlight has the power to stimulate a gland in our brain that regulates our sleep cycle and sunlight is powerful enough to regulate our moods. Sleepy, sad and dead is no way to go through life. Without the sun… we’d have to grow fur because it would be really cold… like International Falls... all the time. Sleepy, sad, furry and dead is an even worse way to go through life. 4. Sally Struthers – I haven’t thought about any stars from Hollywood yet in the star context and it was time. Once you make that decision… you have to decide who the biggest star is and I decided to go into that process open-minded. I cleared my head of the previous 3 thoughts to clean the slate and asked myself… who is the biggest star in Hollywood? OK, go… Sally Struthers for some unexplainable reason popped into my head first. I know she isn’t Bradley Cooper or Selena Gomez or anyone like that but she was the first person to pop into my head and that’s how this works and I’m not changing it. 5. Kepler Space Observatory – Back in 2009 NASA sent this thing into space deep into the Milky Way for the purpose of discovering earth like planets that are orbiting stars. From its position in right field… the powerful Kepler telescope has confirmed that Sano and Vargas do indeed revolve around Mauer. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Eduardo Nunez® SS Joe Mauer(L) 1B Miguel Sano® 3B Brian Dozier® 2B Max Kepler(L) RF Robbie Grossman(S) DH Eddie Rosario(L) LF Kurt Suzuki® C Byron Buxton® CF Tyler Duffey [R) P RANGERS Shin-Soo Choo(L) RF Ian Desmond® CF Adrian Beltre® 3B Prince Fielder(L) DH Jurickson Profar(S) 1B Rougned Odor(L) 2B Elvis Andrus® SS Nomar Mazara(L) LF Robinson Chirinos® C Chi Chi Gonzalez [R) P Game-time forecast: 95 deg F (but feels like 101), clear and sunny, no chance of rain, winds at 18mph from the S. Yuck. I like warm weather, but playing baseball in it? Yuck. No. Go Twins! Click here to view the article

I want to go on record once again and say... That if Terry Ryan would have done exactly what I wanted him to do in the off season... This team would probably still be in bad shape. As strongly as I feel about anything... I really believe it's possible that I don't have enough information. I just want to make sure that everyone knows that I'm not down on Terry Ryan for not doing what I thought he should do instead. However... I also want everyone to know that I don't run a baseball organization for living and I don't have a scouting department staffed with professionals who feed me valuable information to filter through... I don't have numbers guys who feed me numbers to filter through. I don't have the time or the information to go over everything that needs to be gone over because I don't do this for a full time job. Terry Ryan has all of that... he is in charge of which advisers stay and which advisers go. Which advisers to listen to and which ones have to go the extra mile to prove their case. The decisions made this year have been wrong almost across the board. There are only 30 of these jobs in the entire world. I think Terry Ryan has been a loyal Twin and that makes him a teammate of mine as the teams biggest fan... but... bottom line. TIMES UP... 5 years is long enough. Too many wrong assessments to let him make another one. Bring in a VP of Baseball OPS to rank over his head immediately please. It pains me to type that but it's the only sensible solution.

If you are looking for something to do for your 4th of July, the Twins are hosting the A’s to kick off a 3 game series. The 4th of July is a celebration of our Independence and that means a day off to go be independent and independence will give you some time on your hands. And if you have time on your hands… Interesting stuff can happen... Terry Ryan has a little time on his hands to clean up a little and as a result… that ol’ Jepsen has been discarded. A new and improved Rosario has been planted in the LF corner, May is in the garage waiting and I hear that a large truck has been secured to bring in a Vargas real soon… maybe even a Berrios isn’t far away. Because that Berrios is starting to look good. Here are some things to think about: 1. Cleaning Day – 4th of July 2015… Last year I was living in Michigan by myself and my wife and family were back in North Dakota. We wanted to do something together but the distance made that difficult so my wife came up with the idea of making it a cleaning day for both of us and it would be like we were together. I didn’t have anything else planned… so why not? My wife put together a list: wipe down countertops, cabinets and stovetop… clean inside microwave… soak stove drip pans and knobs in sink… sweep and mop kitchen floor… remove everything from shower and tub… apply grout and tile cleaner… scrub shower walls and door… clean shower rack and soap dish… clean the shower track… scrub the sink… shine the faucets… wash the floor and replace all the rugs, mats and wastebaskets… organize sock drawers… wash all the blankets and pillowcases… pick up all clutter… dust and vacuum. I put together my own list... put my beer on a coaster and don’t drop jelly on the couch. 2. Catch of the Day – 4th of July 2014… My wife and I went out for supper. We walked in and the sign in the entrance with the specials said “Catch of the Day $8.00.” I’m usually disappointed to see a sign like that because it does nothing for me… I’m not a big fish guy. My wife loves fish… so she locked in on that “Catch of the Day.” She ended up disappointed when the waitress brought her a jar of fireflies. 3. Fireworks – 4th of July 2013… Our Neighbor purchased about $2,000 worth of fireworks. He got drunk and set them off all night long. I believe he finally passed out about 5AM because that’s when all the bang and sizzling sounds stopped. The next morning he is upset with ME because I woke him up when I was mowing my lawn at 10AM. I suppose I could have mowed around him but it would have left a strange outline in my grass. 4. Counting Calories – 4th of July 2012... As I was rolling out the grill… my wife informed me that today was the day that she was going to start counting calories. The food that she was now planning on eating had hardly any calories to count. I told her “it would be much more challenging to count all the calories that I’m having today.” 5. Birds and the Bees – 4th of July 2011… As part of the duties of a father… there comes a time when you must conduct… the "Birds and the Bees" talk. It’s necessary but as many of you know… it’s awfully uncomfortable. My dad finally decided to have that talk with me… it was odd timing because my wife and kids were impatiently waiting in the car. ____________________ Lineups: ATHLETICS Coco Crisp (S) LF Jed Lowrie (S) 2B Josh Reddick (L) RF Danny Valencia [R) 3B Khris Davis [R) DH Stephen Vogt (L) C Marcus Semien [R) SS Yonder Alonso (L) 1B Billy Burns (S) CF Kendall Graveman [R) P TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R) SS Joe Mauer (L) DH Miguel Sano [R) 3B Brian Dozier [R) 2B Kennys Vargas (S) 1B Max Kepler (L) RF Eddie Rosario (L) LF Juan Centeno (L) C Danny Santana (S) CF Ricky Nolasco [R) P Game-time forecast: 76-80 deg F, 39% cloudy, 54% humidity, 0% chance of rain, winds from the SSW at 11mph. Go Twins! Play ball! Click here to view the article

He wasn't going to be re-signed I suppose so the move makes sense. Just another exclamation point on the bullpen that they built in the off season. I'd forget about the pen for moment. Let it roll with what we have and look for chances to promote our youth to MLB when they are ready. Lets see if Ramirez can help us next year. Trevor May... I'd leave him in Rochester for a bit and stretch him out to see if he can improve our rotation. I was all for May staying in the pen when the season started because the bullpen was neglected and we needed him in that role but it doesn't matter now. Stretch May out

The worst team in the American League will be taking on the best team in the American League. It’s the 15th seed vs. the 1st seed. If this was March Madness it would be North Carolina vs. Weber State. It’s the Rangers vs. the Twins and it’s the mere thought of the little guy beating the big guy that makes the month of July so exciting... the Lamb beating the Lion. Many great things have happened in July so I’m ready for a little July Madness. Here are some things to think about: 1. Dolly the Sheep – On July 5th in the year 1996, Scottish scientists took a cell from a mammary gland and proved that they could indeed take that single cell and use it to create the most famous sheep in the whole world… Dolly. Terry Ryan was a young General Manager at the time but was fascinated by the research. Every bullpen pitcher the Minnesota Twins have used since 1997 have been clones of Scott Klingenback. 2. Machu Picchu -- On July 24th in the year 1911, American Hiram Bingham discovered and presented to the world the lost city of the Incan Empire. The Incas were really incredible for their time. Everybody knows about the advanced architecture and highway systems. However, they were also advanced farmers, discovered cocaine and were among the first to domesticate animals. A little cocaine and they were like, “Hey… bring that alpaca over here… let’s keep him.” 3. The Scopes Monkey Trial – On July 21st in the year 1925, John Thomas Scopes was found guilty and fined $100 for teaching human evolution in a state-funded school. At that time… In Tennessee… the creationists were a little more evolved and so they won. 4. The U.S Postal Service – On July 26th in the year 1775, the U.S. Postal Service was created. The very first piece of mail was sent from Philadelphia all the way to Boston. The trip took 8 full days on horseback through rain, sleet and snow. Since the mailbox was not invented yet, the mail carrier was forced to return to Philadelphia with the mail. 5. One small step for man – On July 20th in the year 1969, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin and some other guy flew to the moon, walked around and returned home safely. This happened 10 years before roller blades were invented and that’s pretty incredible. Neil and Buzz left behind more than footprints on the lunar surface… They also left a 2 foot wide panel with 100 mirrors pointed at the earth that scientists use for experimentation to this day. Also left behind on the surface of the moon… all hope of the Vikings winning a Superbowl. ____________________ Lineups: RANGERS Shin-Soo Choo (L) RF Ian Desmond [R) CF Nomar Mazara (L) LF Adrian Beltre [R) 3B Prince Fielder (L) DH Rougned Odor (L) 2B Elvis Andrus [R) SS Mitch Moreland (L) 1B Bobby Wilson [R) C Martin Perez (L) P TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R) SS Joe Mauer (L) 1B Miguel Sano [R) 3B Brian Dozier [R) 2B Trevor Plouffe [R) DH Robbie Grossman (S) LF Max Kepler (L) RF Kurt Suzuki [R) C Byron Buxton [R) CF Ervin Santana [R) P Game-time forecast: sunny and clear-ish, 73 deg F, no chance of rain, winds at 5mph from the ENE. Win Twins! Click here to view the article

Uff Da… we play the White Sox a lot. We play them almost as often as we do the Royals, Indians and Tigers. I can’t be certain but we might even play them again. The Good Guys vs the Bad Guys. Yeah... the Hawk calls the White Sox the Good Guys but we ain’t buying that. We know they are the bad guys!!! Here are some things to think about: 1. Al Capone – This famous bad guy ruled Chicago. Instead of buying his wife a gift on Valentine’s Day… he was just too busy for that in 1929 as he was busy planning and executing a massacre. When his wife found out exactly why he was too busy… she gave it some thought and decided it was best to just let it go. Capone has been portrayed in many films over the years but never by Al Pacino because he didn’t want to be mistakenly called Cappuccino. 2. Hannibal Lecter – Bad guys are even more dangerous when they are also highly intelligent. Hannibal can listen to Brian Dozier speak and immediately detect that his dialect is pure Mississippi even if he sounds like he is from Arkansas. Hannibal also knows that his pull hitting issues are related to an obsessive compulsive fixation with his hair. If Brian would simply shave his head… the ball will go the other way. 3. Donald Trump – Speaking of hair… I think both parties are run by bad guys… I’m neither Democrat nor Republican… anti-political by choice. Donald Trump says he can control the country but he also said that he could control his hair, so I’m still a little skeptical. According to medical professionals… the stress of being the President will take ten years off your life. This is why Trump has received enough votes to be the Republican nominee. 4. Hillary Clinton – Sometimes the Bad Guy is a Bad Gal. When Hillary secured the Democratic nomination, her Husband Bill brought her Flowers to celebrate. Hillary said… “Get her out of here.” 5. Telemarketers – The only time our landline rings… it’s a telemarketer. Here’s how the last phone call went. Riverbrian: Hello (10 Seconds of Silence) Telemarketer: Hello… Can I speak with Mr. Rear (Pause) Brain. Riverbrian: I’ll assume that I am him Telemarketer: How are you today… Mr. Rear Brain? Riverbrian: My eyelashes hurt for some reason Telemarketer: That’s good to hear… I’m calling on behalf of Citibank. I want to let you know that you’ve been personally selected for our new Triple Iron Ore Card… how does that sound to you? Riverbrian: Like a baby crying in the middle of a wedding. Telemarketer: I know… it’s seems too good to be true. Only 45 billion people are eligible for this special offer and to get you signed up… all we need is every single bit of your personal information. Do you have 5 hours so we can go over everything? The quicker we get started… the quicker you can start spending money that you don’t have… anywhere in the world. Riverbrian: When I was 3 years old… I drank finger nail polish remover. Do you have a box on that form for that? Telemarketer: We also have a special promotion… If you provide the contact information of 5 of your friends. You will get a free spatula. Riverbrian: Now you’re talkin… There’s ChiTown... Glunn… North… Do you take Canadians? Telemarketer: Canadians only count for 75 Percent of a Person. Riverbrian: Chief is extra American… He’s about 1 and a quarter. Telemarketer: Ok… one more. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R) SS Robbie Grossman (S) LF Joe Mauer (L) 1B Brian Dozier [R) 2B Trevor Plouffe [R) 3B Max Kepler (L) RF Byung-ho Park [R) DH Kurt Suzuki [R) C Byron Buxton [R) CF Kyle Gibson [R) P WHITE SOX Tim Anderson [R) SS Adam Eaton (L) RF Jose Abreu [R) 1B Melky Cabrera (S) LF Todd Frazier [R) 3B Brett Lawrie [R) 2B Alex Avila (L) C Avisail Garcia [R) DH J.B. Shuck (L) CF Jose Quintana (L) P Game-time forecast: currently it's cloudy and 69 deg, but by 7pm it should be clear, sunny and 68 deg F, humidity at 46%, winds at 13mph from the N. It's WAY cooler today than it was yesterday. Click here to view the article

If you have ever listened to the MLB network on satellite radio, you already know everything you need to know about the Yankees. The Cubs may be the greatest story in baseball this year but they are still a distant second to the amount of time spent discussing the pinstripes. If it’s a winning year… the callers line up to talk about how great the Yankees are. If it’s a losing year… the caller’s line up to discuss things to shove up Cashman’s… umm… let’s go with nostril. This year… the Yankees are hovering around .500 and the callers line up to talk about the trade deadline maneuvers that must be done to make the team go one direction or the other because they will not stand for any of this "being in the middle" business. They won’t sing any Jimmy Eat World in New York… there will be no “It just takes some time” or “Everything, Everything will be all right." New Yorkers want results NOW!!! In Minnesota… being in the middle sounds nice and cozy. Here are some things to think about: 1. Jan Brady – Poor Jan had some serious issues as the middle child. Younger sister Cindy had curls and that lisp that required extensive attention with speech therapists so she could be understood; and older sister Marcia was a close personal friend of Davy Jones and didn’t need braces. This caused severe jealousy issues and constant fits of rage for attention. It also didn’t help that Florence Henderson addressed her as “Hey You” or “Whatsherface.” There were a lot of issues in that house. Forcing Alice to wear that light blue maid uniform constantly was a clear attempt to keep Alice in her rightful place. Having 6 kids crammed into two bedrooms and one bathroom between them was clearly the work of an architect that just didn’t care anymore. 2. Middle Finger – The origin of extending this finger to show your displeasure did not come from New York City but they are well practiced with it. New Yorkers will display the digit so often that they have developed acute painful carpal tunnel from repetitive flicking; and in severe cases… their hands have become irrevocably deformed and they are now unable to pick up small objects. The origin actually started in medieval times. French warriors would cut off the middle fingers of British archers since it was the finger that was used to draw back the bow. The replacement archers started to display their middle finger to defiantly show the French that they were able to fire and then did. This backfired on the English because the gesture served as sufficient warning that arrows were coming and they simply moved to the left. 3. Stealers Wheel – Gerry Rafferty attended a music industry party. The conversations and events of the evening were so excruciating that he was inspired to write the line “Clowns to the left of me… Jokers to the right… Here I am… Stuck in the Middle with You.” I’ve been to a few of these and they haven’t changed over the years; and you spend the night half-listening to conversations while thinking up plausible excuses to leave. I was able to escape one of these events by using the excuse that I had to leave the party and its distractions so I could focus my mind in order to come up with a decent excuse to leave. 4. The Middle Ages – The period of time from the 5th Century to the 15th Century is what we call the “Middle Ages.” Statisticians, through exhaustive research, have recently concluded that this may be a misnomer because Cro-Magnon Man built the first Wal-Mart in 30,000 B.C. 5. The Story Arc – The Middle is very important to the structure and flow of the story. Writers have a strict formula that they follow that is referred to as a Story Arc. A beginning that shows the world before it changes… an inciting incident that compels the hero to action... the middle or mid-point that is very important because that is where the tables turn... the back half of the story that is usually the antagonist looking like he is going to win... which leads to the climax that is the deciding battle between the hero and the villain and finally… “The End” which is usually a big graphic in a unique font that says “The End." It should be obvious to all that our General Manager Terry Ryan does not follow this Arc when building the Twins because our hero is still looking out his office window waiting for the inciting incident to force him into action. It should also be obvious to all that I do not follow this established arc when I write because that would require actual thought and this is how it ends… THE END ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Eduardo Nunez [R) 3B Robbie Grossman (S) LF Joe Mauer (L) 1B Brian Dozier [R) 2B Max Kepler (L) RF Eduardo Escobar (S) SS Byung-ho Park [R) DH Kurt Suzuki [R) C Byron Buxton [R) CF Tommy Milone (L) P YANKEES Brett Gardner (L) LF Rob Refsnyder [R) 1B Carlos Beltran (S) RF Alex Rodriguez [R) DH Starlin Castro [R) 2B Chase Headley (S) 3B Didi Gregorius (L) SS Aaron Hicks (S) CF Austin Romine [R) C Masahiro Tanaka [R] P Game-time forecast: clear, sunny 76 deg F, no rain in sight, winds at 9mph from the SE. Let's go, Twins! Beat those damn Yankees! Click here to view the article

I have no defense of Arcia defense. I hope you didn't think I was actually trying.