Twins New Scoreboard to Only Show Night Court Reruns

The Minnesota Twins announced plans to revamp their uniforms and Target Field this offseason, including a massive upgrade to their outfield scoreboard.

Just don’t expect it to be all about baseball.

“Our marketing team, along with trusted advisers, says that our fans want to watch the antics and hijinks of NBC’s Night Court,” said Dave St. Peter, Minnesota’s President and CEO. “It’s the right call.”

Night Court, a sitcom set in a New York City courtroom, ran from 1984-92 on NBC. No one over the age of 35 knows what it is, but the team is confident it will appeal to all ages more than batting averages or scoreboard updates. The new scoreboard will show a constant stream of reruns at the expense of highlights, statistics, and game updates.

“The research is thorough and grounded in fact,” said St. Peter. “The zany antics of Judge Harry Stone, D.A. Dan Fielding, and Bull the loveable bailiff have cross-generational appeal. Millennials, Gen X, and Zoomers love Markie Post, and we intend to meet them where they’re at. If they want to know the score, the game is literally right in front of them. That’s not our problem.”

One problem is the fact that the sitcom was filmed before the age of high definition, and the resolution of the images has been described as “a nightmare come to life, but covered in cataracts” by a source close to the situation. St. Peter brushes off these concerns.

“The average age of our season ticket holders is 77,” said St. Peter. “They’ll just think they need to put their readers on. And you don’t need 20/20 vision to appreciate the gentle yet ribald humor of the wackiest municipal court in Manhattan!”

Image license here.