In Bold Winter Meetings Move, Twins Executives Upgrade Rental Car

The big headline from the Winter Meetings was the mega-deal Juan Soto signed with the New York Mets. But they’re not the only team willing to spend this offseason.

“The Minnesota Twins are pleased to announce that the entire Twins traveling party rented a large, premium sedan at the Dallas airport upon arriving,” said the team in a statement. “There is ample legroom, satellite radio, and a functioning rearview camera.”

Team sources indicate that this is a message to players, agents, and the rest of the league that the Twins will be more than bystanders around this year's hot stove, despite a self-imposed budget cut that wrecked their 2024 season and appears set to negatively impact 2025.

“Would a team on a tight budget upgrade from a medium sedan,” asked one front office source. “And not just upgrade, but skip the small AND mid-size SUVs and level up to a tricked-out Nissan Altima. The haters are waiters at the table of our success.”

Although the team refused to discuss the financials on the record, a quick look at multiple auto rental websites shows that this was an increased expenditure of roughly $125-$150.

“We want to compete and win in 2025,” said the statement. “If anyone doubts that, they’re welcome to hop in the backseat of the Altima and enjoy this sweet-ass ride. Then, if the players and agents are willing to lower their contract demands to a more reasonable amount for a team that just made a frankly unprecedented expenditure on their traveling secretary’s wife’s credit card, we expect to be in the mix for a lot of talent.”

One front office source noted via text message that the “Pittsburgh Brokebois” (sic) had a Ford Focus with a missing hubcap. “Sad, really.”

Team historians note that this kind of outlay for a rental vehicle is a departure from previous offseasons, most notably when Calvin Griffith made George Brophy hitchhike from Moisant Field to his hotel at the 1974 New Orleans Winter Meetings.

Image license here.