Reimagining conversations about Royce Lewis

[alexlegge]

Is anyone else having fun reimagining conversations about Royce Lewis? It's a pretty entertaining exercise. Here are a couple I came up with:

MID-JUNE, TWINS FRONT OFFICE:
DEREK: What are we going to do about this team squandering so many tight games?
THAD: As per our stats department, 600 plate appearances of Joey Gallo should generate just enough home runs for us to save face.
DEREK: I like it.
THAD: I do too. But here's one other thought - apparently this Lewis kid in our system is incapable of not hitting grand slams.
DEREK: Isn't that a side effect of ACL recovery?
THAD: Not sure, but good to be cautious about it. I'll check with the training staff. 
DEREK: Please do. We'll keep that as a backup plan.
THAD: Good call. 

9/14/23 & 9/15/23, WHITE SOX DUGOUT:
GRIFOL: Okay, Charlie. Bases loaded now and this new kid up for the Twins. What does our scouting department have on him?
MONTOYO: That's weird. The entire scouting report is  just three words: "hits grand slams". 
GRIFOL: Well, shoot. Let's walk him and take our chances with the next guy.
RESULT: Bases-loaded walk, RBI
GAME RESULT: Twins 10, White Sox 2
24 hours later...
MONTOYO: Here's that grand slam kid again, skip.
GRIFOL: Well our approach didn't work very well yesterday, did it?
MONTOYO: Heck no. Better pitch to him today.
GRIFOL: My thoughts exactly.
RESULT: Grand slam
GAME RESULT: Twins 10, White Sox 2

 

Any others?