Hello, fellow humans! My name is William Malone IV. Son of William Malone III. And I come with great news! We are in the month of March. It is quite the magical time for sports fans. March Madness is coming up fast, the NBA and NHL have their playoff races heading up, and NFL free agency is set to begin. But there is one more treat for the avid sports fan. Baseball! Sometimes, the regular season begins in April. Sometimes it's July if COVID is happening. But this year, it is March!

And once the regular season begins, fans can once again sweat out the tense moments that come with a baseball game. Many of these tense moments occur with the bases loaded. And despite the fact that none of you William Malone IV superfans asked for this, here are a bunch of random bases loaded stats!

Jorge Polanco refuses to hit grand slams
Former Twins infielder Jorge Polanco is one of the best RISP performers in franchise history. This extends to situations where the bases are loaded, despite the fact that he has never hit a grand slam. Polanco was 24-for-70 (.343) with the bases loaded during his time in Minnesota, including a stellar 5-for-7 (.714) bases loaded showing during his final season with the club. But none of those 24 hits found their way over the fence. There were five doubles and three triples though.

Dudes pitched around Bob Allison and Michael Cuddyer
All runs count the same. It doesn't matter if you hit a home run or draw a bases loaded walk. Twins Hall of Fame members Bob Allison and Michael Cuddyer did a lot of both. It's common knowledge that these two had power, but they also co-lead the Twins with 15 bases loaded walks. Allison actually jumps up to 18 if you include his early years with the Washington Senators.

Anyone remember Lenny Green?
Speaking of bases loaded walks, Lenny Green is the Twins single season record holder with five bases loaded walks in 1962. Six of his 12 big league seasons were spent with the Senators/Twins, and he was their Opening Day center fielder when the franchise came to Minnesota in 1961. His record shattering five bases loaded walks came in 1962, and nobody in a Twins uniform has caught him since. Six players have reached four. That was most recently done by Michael A. Taylor in 2023.

Joe Mauer got better with age
Hall of Fame catcher Joe Mauer was 45-for-119 (.378) with the bases loaded. This sample includes ten doubles and five grand slams. While these numbers are great, they got better with age. A younger Mauer was just 4-for-30 (.133) with the bases loaded over his first three big league seasons. It slowly got better over the next few years, then he eventually became a bases loaded monster. Mauer would go 27-for-60 (.450) with the bases loaded from 2012 until the end of his career.

Jason Kubel hit like 572 memorable grand slams
Perhaps 572 was an exaggeration, but it was a little weird how Jason Kubel hit so many grand slams. Let's be honest. Not all grand slams are the same. A lot of them might come against some struggling Quad-A reliever when your team is already up five or six runs. That's not what Kubel did. He hit five grand slams for the Twins that gave Minnesota the lead. Four of those were in the eighth inning or later. One of those came against Mariano Rivera. Another helped him complete the cycle. There was also a walk-off grand slam against the Red Sox in 2006. The fourth late, go-ahead grand slam helped break a 1-1 tie against the Tigers in 2008.

Carlos Correa saved his bases loaded knocks for Minnesota
Carlos Correa is 8-for-23 (.348) with the bases loaded since joining the Twins. He also had a memorable go-ahead RBI single against the Toronto Blue Jays in game two of the 2023 Wild Card Series. This is a huge step up from the .274 bases loaded batting average Correa put up with the Houston Astros. That's still a respectable number. The league as a whole hit just .259 with the bases loaded last season. But it's clear that Correa stepped up his clutch game after leaving Houston.