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USAFChief

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Everything posted by USAFChief

  1. USAFChief
    Most teams actually play a more extreme shift against Mauer than Ortiz.
  2. USAFChief
    You all know me...I kinda enjoy telling a joke now and then. I'm reminded of the time I was up north fishing and stopped in at a small tavern to have a cold one up there by the Falls. I ordered, and a big, burly bartender brought my beer. "Hey," I said, "wanna hear a Sven and Ole joke?" "Vell, go ahead if you vant," he said. "But you should know, I'm Norwegian. So's that big feller down dere at de end of da bar. And dat bigger lady down dere at de udder end of da bar." I thought about it, and said, "You're right friend. That's probably not a great idea. I'd have to explain the damn thing three times."
  3. USAFChief
    Maybe if they throw in Seager?
  4. USAFChief
    Sven takes Lena to a nice restaurant for their anniversary. As the waitress brings Sven the bill, she asks him, with a grin on her face, "Do you know the difference between a canoe and a Norwegian?" Sven gets a big grin on his face, waiting for the punchline..."Vell, no, young lady. Vhat's da diff'rence?" "Canoes sometimes tip," she replies as she walks away.
  5. USAFChief
    DOZIER-ZEE!!!11!
  6. USAFChief
    winner
  7. USAFChief
    Sven n Ole die in a snowmobile accident, drunker than skunks. They end up in hell, and the devil visits the next morning to see how miserable they are. He finds them smiling and laughing, having a good time. "WTH?" he asks. "Vell, ve don't get dis nice'a wedder dat offun up dere, dontchaknow. Dis is nice, ve're enjoyin' da heat!" The devil decides to teach them a lesson, and turns off the heat to the whole place. Next morning, there's icicles everywhere and it's 40 below. He finds Sven and Ole in their parkas and bomber hats, jumping up and down and high fiving each other. "WTH?" he asks. "Da Vikes won da Sooper Bowl! Da Vikes won da Sooper Bowl!"
  8. USAFChief
    I'd prefer paying Roy to not come into the broadcast booth.
  9. USAFChief
    Ole wasn't feeling well, and went to see the doctor. They discussed his medical history, and when the doctor asked about bowel movements, Ole replied "Oh I haff one ev'ry mornin at five sharp." "Well, that's good," says the doc. "Not gutt," says Ole. "I don't get up till six, maybe six t'irty.
  10. USAFChief
    "Riverbrian: Chief is extra American… He’s about 1 and a quarter." Is that an age crack or a weight crack?
  11. USAFChief
    That's one of the primary problems...they are just guessing on readiness in many cases. Arcia got 179 PAs in 2015 and 16 combined, after a .750 OPS in 2014. They're wasting option years on Polanco now in an even more haphazard manner.
  12. USAFChief
    I agree, Brock. But I will say, my opinion on how Arcia was handled by the Twins isn't based on two games. Nor will it change substantially if he ends up flaming out over the next couple years. We don't have enough info...and that's the point. Neither did the Twins.
  13. USAFChief
    Yeah, I'd just as soon they let Buxton play the season out.
  14. USAFChief
    Major league service time is what counts. He wouldn't even be arb legible next year if the Twins decide to keep him. He was released by Houston, making him a free agent. Signed a minor league deal with Cleveland, then released from that. In reality, it's doubtful that ever comes into play, IMO. I dont think He's good enough to keep a job through 2021.
  15. USAFChief
    http://cdn1.ssninsider.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/happy-endings-e1366054642408.jpeg Winnah! All's well that ends well, I guess.
  16. USAFChief
    pfffft. "Solo home runs don't beat you." -B. Blyleven
  17. USAFChief
    Mrs Chief and I just got back from the vacation of a lifetime. Never doing that again, I tell ya.
  18. USAFChief
    Hu?
  19. USAFChief
    ...and then the show closed, and you were looking for work.
  20. USAFChief
    Max Kepler walks into a bar and asks for a martini. "Dry?" asks the barkeep. "Nope, just one," says Max.
  21. USAFChief
    I'll try "Things Joe Mauer has said...never" for $1000, Alex.
  22. USAFChief
    Send Duffey out for the 7th? //I kid, I kid//
  23. USAFChief
    http://tailsoffortcollins.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/dogshaming.jpg
  24. USAFChief
    Glorm!! //lurking// How's the world treating you?? //and now you type// "Like a baby treats a diaper, Chief."
  25. USAFChief
    clearly false.
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